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  1. Who Instigates the bedroom shenanigans?

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    JVWH [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 28 Jul 2012

    What to do when it's always you?

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Not sure of what you are asking here .

    Are you looking for new ideas or looking to try and place more emphasis on your partner ?

    1496659474
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Most often my husband, mainly because even after 12 years I still just don't feel confident enough to instigate it myself. I'm getting better but I know it drives him insane!! I know he wants me to instigate it more, I just can't.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    pinkanimal wrote:

    Most often my husband, mainly because even after 12 years I still just don't feel confident enough to instigate it myself. I'm getting better but I know it drives him insane!! I know he wants me to instigate it more, I just can't.

    Just wondering if you have tried roleplaying ? That way you are playing the character and not yourself . My Mrs sounds a bit like you but place her in a cop costume and handcuffs then she is a different and dominant persion and my arse gets kicked !

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    paulsballs [sign in to see picture]
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    75/25 me/O.H.

    1496662554
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    paulsballs wrote:

    75/25 me/O.H.

    Thats roughly the ratio for us as well.

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    GollyGotha [sign in to see picture]
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    With my ex, there was no 'instigating' per say. We simply had to look at each other and our clothes would be off.

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    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    99% him. . Sometimes I send him a flirty text but he just doesn't get it .. so I just leave it to him 😂

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    Bigtrak [sign in to see picture]
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    90%me 10%her but have been on a few 2 week challenges lately that have driven both or drives through the roof so it kinda just happens

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    Modo [sign in to see picture]
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    pinkanimal wrote:

    Most often my husband, mainly because even after 12 years I still just don't feel confident enough to instigate it myself. I'm getting better but I know it drives him insane!! I know he wants me to instigate it more, I just can't.

    Sometimes you can instigate it subtly by the clothing you wear. You can also help your own confidence at the same time by going out in clothing that is riskier than your normal attire. Feeling that men might be giving you the once over can do wonders for confidence.

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm confident enough to do so......but I know my place. What oh says, goes....so it's always him xx

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    MrGoodGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    Always me. And it's not nice.

    Is she doing it to please me?

    Tried leaving it a while to see if she'd get horny and instigate?

    Think she'd go celibate for the rest of our lives if I left it to her.

    Love her to be sexy and give me the come on - think the devil will ice skate to work before that happens

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    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Always me, he never instigates.....but high drive means i get horny 24/7. I find doing the no play for a week getting him going ready to jump on me though ;) maybe true that, make it into a game, tease through the week. Its torture both sides but works.

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    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
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    Mostly me as I am the horniest... Often leave bits out for her or hint what I would like her to wear.

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    The Woodie [sign in to see picture]
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    Usually me.............

    ...........and sometimes I refuse!

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    Lone Ranger [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    paulsballs wrote:

    75/25 me/O.H.

    Thats roughly the ratio for us as well.

    Same.

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    Onlyones [sign in to see picture]
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    Always me,in our almost 40 years together I would say Mrs Onlyones has been the instigator less than a dozen times.

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    There was a time when it was 95% me but this and other things rocked our marriage. It has made us both a lot more open and communication is better so now it seems much more 50/50

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    JHill [sign in to see picture]
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    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

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