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  1. My sister is making me and my Fiance really uncomfortable

    1494802051
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    We are going to move out asap we are literally looking for somewhere we can afford. Problem is:

    My sister is **EDITED BY MODERATOR**, I am 27 and my boyfriend is 29. Since my boyfriend and I got together she's been REALLY flirting with him even though she has a boyfriend of her own. I've caught her sucking a lolly with eye contact to him and winking at him, she has walked in on him in his boxers (with me in the room) on more than one occasion (she knocks, asks for the keys or something and because I work and it's early in the morning my boyfriend will get them and she'll burst in), when I'm in work she has walked in on him masterbating (so my boyfriend has to hide and pretend he's asleep) or she has walked in when he has woken up and has a bit of morning wood. She tries to talk to him and he just says one word answers or makes a grunt and she stops talking then just hangs around.

    My boyfriend isn't interested at all and feels ill and worried over the fact that practically a child is trying to get him into bed and I can trust him but I dont know how to tell her to pack it in. My family wont do anything theyll tell me its me being paranoid and jealous. If she flings herself at him or carries on I will end up slapping her.

    1494805540
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Tell her to grow up as a she has a boyfriend and B, your boyfriend would never touch a childish acting young woman. Tell her carry on she'll get a bad name for her sell as you'll tell everyone, this should quieten her down hugs.

    1494805620
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks but all that happened was my dad said oh well if she gets name for herself she gets a name its her own fault and she shrugged and walked off. I tried this in the past.

    1494806163
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Shes also flirty with 2 of her guy friends but nothing like this. My man cant even masterbate without fearing she'll walk in. I told her yesterday she couldnt come in (I just didnt want to see her) but she walked in any way. My fiance (its recent im not used to saying that lol) and I couldve been doing anything. We are moving asap but its what to do in the meantime

    1494807275
    Funlover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can sympathise totally with you.I had the same problem with my **EDITED BY MODERATOR** year old sister for several years when I first lived with my boyfriend and husband to be.Thankfully we did not share a home with my family or there may have been skin and hair flying.My partner was aware of her manipulative ways and I totally trusted him to keep her at arms length.As her confidence grew and she herself was married she even had the brazen cheek to proposition him.Knowing that my parents would never believe this of her we had to handle the problem ourselves by constantly making sure she was not encouraged or left alone with my partner.

    I can only suggest that you attempt to nip this in the bud a.s.a.p. by laying down some ground rules while you are still living with your family and insist on absolute privacy when in your own room.Her behaviour of barging in on you and your fiancee is downright rude and she needs to be made aware of this in no uncertain terms and your parents should be the ones to give you support with this.It should not be seen as you being jealous or paranoid.It is simply just good manners and being respectful if your privacy in a shared accommodation.

    Establishing this ground rule should at least send the message that her approaches are unwelcome and make her realise that her behaviour is unacceptable.If she persists with other advances then a quiet word in her ear from you making it quite clear that she is overstepping boundaries with your partner will make her aware of the united front she faces with you and your partner.Better still he must also be prepared to see her off making her realise her behaviour is immature and offensive.This may even embarrass her enough to make her keep her distance,in the knowledge that her behaviour is seen to be childish.

    I really hope you can resolve this stressful situation before much longer and wish you and your fiance the privacy to which you are entitled.

    1494814341
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you and yeah I will do. My partner is ready to push her away because it is ridiculous. He is genuinely worried about her behaviour when im in work but luckily shes usually in college its mostly just the last hour or 2 of my shift or days she bunks off (probably to see what she can do)

    My boyfriend is having to barricade the bloody door to stop her walking in and hes already said hes not getting her anything from our room like keys because our dads room is next door and she could easily get them there but she wont because she basically wants to see him in as little as possible

    1494815133
    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    I would get a lock on your door so she can't just barge in. She might make a nuisance of herself by knocking on the door but if you or your bf ignores it she will get fed up or at the very least it gives your bf a chance to get dressed.

    1494815755
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah we are looking into getting a lock but last time my brother with behavioural needs crow barred the door open and nearly broke the bloody thing

    1494825915
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
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    The cheapest less perminant, yet effective solution would be a wedge under the door.

    1494832196
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    She is on a power trip, some young girls find out that with their feminine wiles they can exert control over guys. Wether it's to make them hot under the collar if they don't want to be, or have them wanting her when she has no intention of letting them have her. It's a recipe for disaster for her, getting a name for her self, or having some guy convinced he's got the green light for sex.

    She is beng childish, so get your BF to treat her as such; instead of letting her make him squirm, which is what she is wanting. Get him to to say no to what she is asking for, such as keys, and say "come on little girl out you go, shoo, nothing in here for children." and laugh at her.

    Suddenly from having a grown man squrming, she gets to be made to feel like a baby. And you can say to her, you do make my BF laugh when you do your little girl thing with him.

    It would have been easier if you had treated her this way to start with, so it may be more difficult to make it convincing enough for her.

    1494832353
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Definitely a lock on the door. The situation seems very strange. Good luck saving up to move out.

    1494835097

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    OK this is actually quiet common regardless of your relationship with your sister sibling rivalry happens.

    She young and is around an older guys she working out if she is attractive and desirable to men.

    Whilst wrong and I'm sure your boyfriend would never do anything to encourage her deliberately. It is flattering to a man. Its important that you and he keep talking about it as he probably feels very uncomfortable about it.

    How to sort it. My suggestion is he needs to take the lead invite her in for a chat and you will be waiting all sit down try not to be shoulder against her be in a circle ,equal body gaps.

    Treat her as an adult use bigger words to show you understand she's an adult.

    Ask her to stop flirting with him. Its inappropriate and he feels upset due to her being so young and your sister. Then he must say he is with you and only you so he has no interest in her at all . tell here yes she's pretty and will find her right man when she's ready and mature enough.

    1494845773
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with very much what GG has stated. It comes accross to me as though she is very flirtatious and gets a thrill at leading other guys on a little but at the same time keeping them at arms length. She is also using her bodylanguage and eye contact techniques and perhaps becasue of her age doesn't normally get the opportunity to try these out. Many clubs and pubs I know operate the "Prove it your 25 " policy which excludes many younger people. Body language is something you ladies tend to be far superior on and only now at my age I am beginning to get to grips and be able to read it . I may be wrong but dont think she really has any interest in your boyfriend apart from the thrill of the chase and being a bit of a minx .

    Agreed with the others you need to have some sort of adult chat with her and tell her to back off. as your boyfriend isnt intersted in her and chasing and flirting with other women's men could get her into trouble in the future .So really she needs to be shown perhaps how to pick her potential targets more carefiully and whats better than some sisterly advice form an older sister .

    1494849061
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks everyone. I can try an adult chat but she will go running to my parents and twist things. She's done it before with me and my brothers. She runs off and tattles saying we called her a slag even though A. We did no such thing B. That word wasn't remotely used.

    My dad is more approachable (shes definitely mums favourite so everyone else is in the wrong.) I wont go into detail but I'll say look I need a wedge or a lock or something because even when I say no dont come in she just walks in anyway.

    1494849540
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    I hate it and my partner stays cool but I know it bothers him because he tells me and says he cant wait to get away.

    To be fair my partner knows what shes gotten herself like and keeps a distance. Theyre only ever alone in the room when she just walks in when im in work.

    1494850214
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    HarlequinGirl wrote:

    I hate it and my partner stays cool but I know it bothers him because he tells me and says he cant wait to get away.

    To be fair my partner knows what shes gotten herself like and keeps a distance. Theyre only ever alone in the room when she just walks in when im in work.

    Don't forget she is only a kid yet herself .My son is of the same age . They have got a heck of a lot to learn without access legally to reference material . But seriously you need to discuss the possible consequencies of chasing other womens men . I know my Mrs for example takes a very dim view of it when some start coming on heavy onto me.

    Good luck

    1494851283
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    HarlequinGirl wrote:

    I hate it and my partner stays cool but I know it bothers him because he tells me and says he cant wait to get away.

    To be fair my partner knows what shes gotten herself like and keeps a distance. Theyre only ever alone in the room when she just walks in when im in work.

    Don't forget she is only a kid yet herself .My son is of the same age . They have got a heck of a lot to learn without access legally to reference material . But seriously you need to discuss the possible consequencies of chasing other womens men . I know my Mrs for example takes a very dim view of it when some start coming on heavy onto me.

    Good luck

    Thanks and yeah its bad enough when its other people but when it's your own family... its ridiculous. Going to have to have a word but she'll play dumb and go running to my parents saying Im bullying her and im nasty and my parents namely my mum will say im being stupid and jealous 😞 dont think i have a choice though.
    1494852051
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    HarlequinGirl wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    HarlequinGirl wrote:

    I hate it and my partner stays cool but I know it bothers him because he tells me and says he cant wait to get away.

    To be fair my partner knows what shes gotten herself like and keeps a distance. Theyre only ever alone in the room when she just walks in when im in work.

    Don't forget she is only a kid yet herself .My son is of the same age . They have got a heck of a lot to learn without access legally to reference material . But seriously you need to discuss the possible consequencies of chasing other womens men . I know my Mrs for example takes a very dim view of it when some start coming on heavy onto me.

    Good luck

    Thanks and yeah its bad enough when its other people but when it's your own family... its ridiculous. Going to have to have a word but she'll play dumb and go running to my parents saying Im bullying her and im nasty and my parents namely my mum will say im being stupid and jealous 😞 dont think i have a choice though.

    Yes I agree its something you will have to do. Call it "tough love " but it could stop her getting into trouble in the future. Some women like my Mrs feel threatened when others start trying to get eye contact with me and being flirtacious in the ways you have described . The last thing you would want is your sister to be involved in a cat fight in a pub/night club sometime in the future but that is what could happen if its not nipped in the bud now .

    I do empathise with your boyfriend and believe he is compleytely blameless . It can be an uncomfortable feeling with someone watching every move you make and receiving unwelcomed and unwanted advances.

    1494874894
    HarlequinGirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Im getting a door wedge and thank you mysteron. He hasnt done anything to cause it and partly think its more to piss me off too. (Scuse the language) eye contact isnt bad the lolly thing my boyfriend and I thought we made a mistake but shes actually deliberately either not knocking and strolling in or knocking and walking in any way. Its annoying because my fiance has to keep hiding because she just strolls in regardless.

    I cannot wait til I move out!

    1494876310

    [suspended user]

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    I think a water pistol might be the best answer. Keep it your bedroom when she comes in just shoot her.

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