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  1. Babies

    1262044106
    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't believe anyone should have kids unless they are sure its what they want, I especially don't agree with having kids to get a house or more benefits, my sister in law did this and she can't cope with her 2 yet she wants more for the money!!!

    1271013046
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    iv been a mum my whole life, to my 5 younger sibling , between a 5 and 10 year age gap at the moment and my dads wife is due again in july, so they'l be 21 years between me and the littlest sister, due to family issues me and the 2nd eldest are extremly close and she called me mum from the age of 2, we were split up when mother darling popped her clogs and it was literally like having my own child torn from my arms at the age of 10, not sure whether this was the reason but from a very young age i knew i was having lots of kids, i did it properly, got a job, me n the fiance got our own place got some saving behind us etc and my lil man was born in 08 :) and still i feel this is what i was born to do, i get stressed, knackered and sometimes just wanna jack it all in but personally for me theres no better feeling than curling up with my boy reading him a story before bed time then having a nice meal ready for my fiance when he gets home from a hard day at work and the house is spick and span :) i think i was just born a house wife.

    However, my best friend is all high flying career girl, nice flat of her own, swanky gym membership cocktail parties the lot, one night stand resulted in sproglet and although shes a fantastc mum and has no regrets, shes back at work and lil mans not even one, she says she needs it to stay sane.

    each to their own i say,some people dont want kids and get called selfish, some do but wanna go back to work and again, get called selfish and others like me wanna have kids stay home and play house wife get called lazy!! what ever your desicion is some one will have a problem with it!

    sorry about the essay but this sort of thing gets me in rant mode lol! we have our owns brains so its up to the individual!

    1271079301
    Jennii x [sign in to see picture]
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    yeah i agree with what missorgasm about we have our own brains and i think it is wrong to have a child just to get benifits , ive just turned 17 and i have wanted a child for almost a year i am in a stable relatonship but my partner who has just turned 19 doesnt want a child untill we have enough or more money and a place of ourselfs which i agree with thats why i am waiting but if i could i would have a child now i think there is nothing wrong with having a child at young age but only if they can support and look after the child

    also at my age most girls get their mother instinct kicking in which is normal but its also normal when you dont have that instinct yet it deppends on you and your development

    some people might not agree with me becasue of my age and my situaton without a house together and money which is fine but it all depends on the individual bacause i know qute alot about babes when my cuzin was born i took over my auntis job i love changing nappies, feeding the child, dealing with all the behavour and crying and i no it would be hard and i probly cant imagin how hard but if you want or have a child thats what comes with the job my partner says im like a mum just without a baby

    i recon if your in a stable relatonship, got money, a place , enough determation i think you can have a child what ever age its up to you if you want to give up your social life id rather look after my crying baby then go out partying

    sorry 4 the long reply

    1271110367
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    crayola wrote:

    Just a thought- whats everyone view on the traditional use of sex, ie- procreation?

    I just don't want kids, but I'm sick of being told thats a selfish way to think.

    A bit of a old post to drag up....

    but I can't think of anything less selfish in a way. Why bring another resource intensive biological unit into this world of dwindling resources...

    Only really selfish to grandparents isn't it? They've had their kids and could adopt, so f**k 'em! I want kids, so rather selfishly I think we'll try to have them.

    1271111066
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    but I can't think of anything less selfish in a way. Why bring another resource intensive biological unit into this world of dwindling resources...

    Because they might change that world.

    1271111161
    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    but I can't think of anything less selfish in a way. Why bring another resource intensive biological unit into this world of dwindling resources...

    Because they might change that world.

    For good or for bad though? There's no knowing that they're not gonna turn into the next Hitler. :P

    1271111583
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    If they do then that's an epic parenting fail.

    Could the naughty step have prevented WWII? Who knows......

    Not to be a pis*y philosopher about it but you could argue that every human action is selfish. I think an episode of Friends proved that. Best that we choose the actions that bring the best out of ourselves.

    1271112278
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    If they do then that's an epic parenting fail.

    Could the naughty step have prevented WWII? Who knows......

    Not to be a pis*y philosopher about it but you could argue that every human action is selfish. I think an episode of Friends proved that. Best that we choose the actions that bring the best out of ourselves.

    Yay philosophy! *giddy with excitement* I knew it had a purpose!

    A do think some egoism exists in all actions but that we can act above our 'programming'. You only have to look at 'evil' human actions to see self or potential self benefit drives many actions. Fear being possibly the biggest motivator.

    II can understand the OP's annoyance with being labelled as selfish for not having kids. Hell, given that logic most people using contraception are selfish. A little bit like the typical atheist claim "I just disbelieve in one god less than you", choosing to have no kids is just one kid less than those people who have one and two less than two etc...

    1271112758
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    An act can be selfish yet harmless and cause happiness to the person committing the act. That makes it a good act in my books. Many acts (if not all) are selfish in some respect, doesn't make them wrong.

    Life is short and insignificant - if you can enjoy it without hurting others then why not do so?

    If you can make someone elses life a little happier as well, then fabulous but life's too short to get too hung up "selflessness".

    Ax

    1271112906
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    By insignificant btw I mean in the grand scheme of the universe - of course to the living person it's pretty damn significant

    Ax

    1271113144
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I like this way of thinking.

    I've always put much stock in the dictum to Fail Better.

    1271113300
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    By insignificant btw I mean in the grand scheme of the universe - of course to the living person it's pretty damn significant

    Ax

    I'd read what you said but you're insignificant.

    Good points lovely!

    1271172466
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    Jennii x wrote:

    yeah i agree with what missorgasm about we have our own brains and i think it is wrong to have a child just to get benifits , ive just turned 17 and i have wanted a child for almost a year i am in a stable relatonship but my partner who has just turned 19 doesnt want a child untill we have enough or more money and a place of ourselfs which i agree with thats why i am waiting but if i could i would have a child now i think there is nothing wrong with having a child at young age but only if they can support and look after the child

    also at my age most girls get their mother instinct kicking in which is normal but its also normal when you dont have that instinct yet it deppends on you and your development

    some people might not agree with me becasue of my age and my situaton without a house together and money which is fine but it all depends on the individual bacause i know qute alot about babes when my cuzin was born i took over my auntis job i love changing nappies, feeding the child, dealing with all the behavour and crying and i no it would be hard and i probly cant imagin how hard but if you want or have a child thats what comes with the job my partner says im like a mum just without a baby

    i recon if your in a stable relatonship, got money, a place , enough determation i think you can have a child what ever age its up to you if you want to give up your social life id rather look after my crying baby then go out partying

    sorry 4 the long reply

    a mum with out a bay is how i was described lol, some people are just born mothers! i was 18 when i got preg and 19 when i had my lil man, i love being a mum and want another soon, i dont feel like i miss out on any thing infact when i see most of my friends getting plastared blowing there wages on designer gear and living at home i just think its them missing out, but thats just my opinion, people r all different, if everyone wanted 6 kids then we'd be massivly over populated, and if no one wanted them we'd die out :)

    1271172958
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    O! and also!! people that have kids just for benefits need shooting!! people keep 'helpfully' telling me all the money i could claim but hey guess what, i may not have loadsa money and my son may not have every bloody toy in the argos book and his clothes are from george not armarni but i like knowing that every penny i have and everything that gets bought for me and my son is well earnt and appreciated, and i hope will teach my son if you want something and you want to be proud of it you have to earn it, makes it so much more rewarding!

    1295657186
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    .... to move this over from the group tangent on the Shemale thread:

    Ecksvie wrote:

    I don't have an issue with people who choose not to have kids. I admire anyone who has the strength and sensibility to know what they want out of life.

    I think my main issue is people saying "never" to things. There have been so many times in my life where I've said I'd never do something, then a while later it's happening anyway and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. For that reason, I made the active decision not to say never to anything, and I feel I'm better for it.

    That's my issue with people saying they never want kids. As with all things in life, you just can't know how you're going to feel six months or a year etc down the line, and I think it can be inhibitive. Some people might not do things they really want just because they always told themselves they wouldn't. Even if that's not the case, I just don't believe in saying never to anything and it winds me up when people do.

    This is something I've never (!) understood...what's the difference between saying never to kids and saying yes i.e. having them? They're effectively both permenant and most people accept the validity of one decision but not the other. Makes no sense to me!

    xxKPxx

    1295657748
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    .... to move this over from the group tangent on the Shemale thread:

    Ecksvie wrote:

    I don't have an issue with people who choose not to have kids. I admire anyone who has the strength and sensibility to know what they want out of life.

    I think my main issue is people saying "never" to things. There have been so many times in my life where I've said I'd never do something, then a while later it's happening anyway and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. For that reason, I made the active decision not to say never to anything, and I feel I'm better for it.

    That's my issue with people saying they never want kids. As with all things in life, you just can't know how you're going to feel six months or a year etc down the line, and I think it can be inhibitive. Some people might not do things they really want just because they always told themselves they wouldn't. Even if that's not the case, I just don't believe in saying never to anything and it winds me up when people do.

    This is something I've never (!) understood...what's the difference between saying never to kids and saying yes i.e. having them? They're effectively both permenant and most people accept the validity of one decision but not the other. Makes no sense to me!

    xxKPxx

    To some extent I agree with both of you. There are certain 'fibres' of your being that will not change. I will never be inclined to a conservative nature, it is just not in me. It reminds me of atheism, most atheists are agnostic. I seriously doubt there is a God and for all intents and purposes my life will continue as such, of course I can never rule out the lord Jesus coming to pay me a visit (although I'd just think I'd ingested something toxic or went mad) but it is such a part of me to not believe in a deity.

    It might seem odd to compare children to religious/political belief but I do think there is a comparison to be made. At some point you would require such overwhelming evidence for all practicalities you never will have them.

    1295658241
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Not so!

    Saying yes and saying no are both statements of intent.

    Having kids is permanent from when it happens.

    Not having kids is just an ongoing confirmation of your intent (or inability to conceive) until it either a) changes, or b) menopause or death occurs. Then it becomes permanent.

    Basically, you can't say you'll never want kids, just like you can never say you'll love someone forever. You just don't know how you'll come to feel over time and in different life situations. You can commit to never having kids even if you do want them, but that's a very different thing to say, and maybe something you'll later regret. But for now all you can say with certainty is - "I don't want to have kids now. (Please stop asking!)"

    1295658320
    Paddy89 [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    .... to move this over from the group tangent on the Shemale thread:

    Ecksvie wrote:

    I don't have an issue with people who choose not to have kids. I admire anyone who has the strength and sensibility to know what they want out of life.

    I think my main issue is people saying "never" to things. There have been so many times in my life where I've said I'd never do something, then a while later it's happening anyway and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. For that reason, I made the active decision not to say never to anything, and I feel I'm better for it.

    That's my issue with people saying they never want kids. As with all things in life, you just can't know how you're going to feel six months or a year etc down the line, and I think it can be inhibitive. Some people might not do things they really want just because they always told themselves they wouldn't. Even if that's not the case, I just don't believe in saying never to anything and it winds me up when people do.

    This is something I've never (!) understood...what's the difference between saying never to kids and saying yes i.e. having them? They're effectively both permenant and most people accept the validity of one decision but not the other. Makes no sense to me!

    xxKPxx

    Could just be because saying 'never' to something is living in a negative way of thinking, whilst saying 'yes' is positive. Could all arguably affect the way you live life, subconciously. I can't believe many people will stubbornly stick to their one view throughout their life just because of what they've said to people previously.

    And I know I'm 8 months too late, but I'd give MissO a standing ovation for her last post

    1295658836
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Mr Monster wrote:

    Not so!

    Saying yes and saying no are both statements of intent.

    Having kids is permanent from when it happens.

    Not having kids is just an ongoing confirmation of your intent (or inability to conceive) until it either a) changes, or b) menopause or death occurs. Then it becomes permanent.

    Basically, you can't say you'll never want kids, just like you can never say you'll love someone forever. You just don't know how you'll come to feel over time and in different life situations. You can commit to never having kids even if you do want them, but that's a very different thing to say, and maybe something you'll later regret. But for now all you can say with certainty is - "I don't want to have kids now. (Please stop asking!)"

    I disagree with this - you can have an unconditional love for a partner just as you have an unconditional love for your parents/children.

    I may not always be with WandA depending on how life goes (though I'd like to think so) and I may not always be in love with him. But I will always love him because he's my first and he's been a huge part of my life. I know we'd never split in a harmful way if ever we did and I'd never lose the love I have for him.

    I agree in part because you don't know what'll happen in the future but certain things you can be 99% sure on, and you're so sure you might as well be strongly affirmative or negative on the subject. As WandA described with religion - I am atheist. Technically I'm agnostic but I'm 99.99% sure there isn't a god so I'll live as if I'm 100% certain.

    I think very few people say *never* and truly mean it. Most of them are just expressing a strong opinion. Plus (not that it necessarily matters) but if you feel pretty confident you'll never have kids but you always say "probably" then it might get other people's hopes up, say a partner or mother who wants grandkids.

    Adx

    1295658892

    [suspended user]

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    Yes round of applause for miss o well said girl

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