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  1. Babies

    1226234431
    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Think it was Princess Grumpy who first let on that people who didn't have kids were selfish, l have a friend who thinks the same thing.

    Pretty rich really as her dad the Duke of E once pontificated on the fact he thought mortgage tax relief should be done away with !! Stuff him.

    I have friends who had kids at 13, life has been a struggle but they have come out the other end ok !!!

    Each to their own l say.

    TB

    1226236949
    expert [sign in to see picture]
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    I fully support you just no notice of them you have the right to lead your life anyway you want !

    But if you had asked me if I wanted children when I was in my twentys I would have said NO but things change just dont back yourself into a corner over this issue and be open minded never say never why limit your future life .

    Whatever happens in the future just be true to yourself and ignore people who try to mould you into their idea of who you should be , its just to make themselves feel better about their situation by getting you to conform to their lifestyle .

    When and if its for you ,only you will know the answer.

    1254593517
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow, this is such an interesting thread that I had to reply despite it being nearly a year old!

    Sex is for procreation - it's about making babies and that is exactly why sex exists

    However, sex is also supposed to be pleasurable, that's how evolution makes sure we keep having it and keep procreating. Sex is supposed to be a way of connecting with a person or persons and that's how evolution ensures that having babies that aren't capable of taking of themselves from birth (unlike some animals) isn't the stupidest idea ever because the parents feel connected and stick around. In it's pure scientific terms sex is about babies and hormones and pleasure.

    BUT we have evolved intelligence and as a result we are capable of using contraception, planning ahead to decide when to have kids, making our own decisions based on our own circumstances. That's completely natural too, we evolved to be like that so it is part of our nature.

    As a result - sex doesn't need to be just about procreation anymore, we have a heavily populated world, survival of the species is less of an issue. We can have sex in a relationship just to "feel close" - we can have sex by ourselves or outside of a relationship just because it feels good and all the other possible combinations! And that has become evolutionarily normal.

    If a person does not want kids, that's their choice, because we have developed a "society" that allows personal freedom.

    Personally, I'm 19 and very broody but I choose to wait. I will have kids when I can support them - that's now the norm, but in "science terms" we should be raring to have kids as soon as we hit puberty.

    In an intelligent society we have the freedom to choose and make decisions, the ability to enjoy sex for more than just procreation and build strong relationships with people that we are not related to. But we evolved intelligence, so it's perfectly natural. We might not be the "same" as other animals in the world (although we all know about bonobos who have sex for pleasure and social status and chimps who are capable of planning ahead) but that doesn't make our behaviour "unnatural"

    Ax

    1254594693
    MzBee [sign in to see picture]
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    I would rather people didn't have children just for the sake of it. I have to admit, I was never broody. Had changed one nappy by the time I had my son. My mom and various others were ready to take me off him as none of them thought I'd be any good. However, as someone else said, instinct just took over. I was 24 btw. And ideally I would have liked to have any children when I was a bit older. Having said that, my views were that I didn't know even if I wanted any children.

    I would never call anyone selfish for not wanting a child. Only recently, have I thought if I would want another one or not - and I think that's only because I have a little bit of 'my baby is outgrowing me'. He's in high school now and I'm somewhat surplus to requirements now. I'm still not that keen on babies. I love toddlers though, think they are fantastic little creatures, finding out how the world ticks.

    1254594921
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    MzBee wrote:

    I love toddlers though, think they are fantastic little creatures, finding out how the world ticks.

    It's a shame people don't hold on to that inquisitivness as they grow up really isn't it!

    Ax

    1254596836
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    hmm i personally dont really have that maternal feeling. im good with toddlers and younger childeren but i dont really like babies personally. when they get to about 6 to 8 months and start sitting up theyre allright but personally i dont really like babies and think theyre all ugly and a bit boring (again its my opinion so dont shoot me)

    i dont really want babies untill i am mid 30's at least, as i want to have my own life and career before settling down and having kids.

    1254600234
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Of course sex is for procreation but we have evolved to enjoy sex for the aspect of pleasure, feelings and joy. I don't believe that sex is just for procreation anymore and do not hold anything against anyone who doesn't want kids at all. I practice kicking the shit out of people every week and love it with my kickboxing but hopefully people don't hold that against me either!

    I love kids! I've got a girl(17) and a boy(11). Also my partner is a foster parent (I will be too when we move in together which is in process now) and in the last 8 years that we've been together she has had 14 kids pass through on their travels and I'm glad to have been a part of it if only small in some cases, with all of them. I like kids of all ages and get on with them famously. I love to teach them, when they walk away and you know they've taken on board knowledge that you have imparted within them and it may possibly stay with them throughout their lives, that is very rewarding.

    All babies are a beautiful miracle. . . . . in my opinion.

    SG69 x

    1254604024
    lil-mumma-lola [sign in to see picture]
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    i agree im 19 n my lil one is 8mths i get judged all the time ppl ayin ive thrown my life away well my answer to that is 1. its my life 2 i dnt think i have

    i love my lil boy but i have friends who dnt want kids and that is there choice ppl should never judge other ppl lifes choices

    1254608522
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I do think it depends on the person as to when you are ready. Money isn't everything, but personally I would like to be financially secure before I have kids - although it's whether it will work like that or not, I have endometriosis and have terrible problems with tearing so I'm thinking labour will be a no no, I need to get cracking on the child front, my mother started trying for me at 24 having been told she'd never have kids if she didn't get a move on (due to the endo she had) and it took her 2 years to conceive. Having kids has always been so important to me so as soon as I am in a position, and have confirmed that I will be able to have a planned C section then I will be getting a move on. Although I've been on the pill since 15 to target the endo so hopefully I'll have longer than my mum.

    Wow SG69, it amazes me when people have the strength to be a foster parent! I don't think I could do it, your OH sounds like an amazing person (and am I right in saying she teaches sign?) how you aren't bragging about her every day on here I don't know!

    I agree with many on here, everyone has the right to make their own choice!

    AA - I don't use condoms and take my pill REALLY badly, anytime between 9pm and 3am which I'm sure ain't good and I ain't preggers yet! I'm sure as long as your dilligent then you'll be fine. I've made a decision to be more careful with mine seeings how abortion would never be right for me (personal reasons, don't judge anyone who has to make that tough decision!) and I defo ain't ready for a kid yet!

    Ax

    1254611967
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sex for procreation is pretty important...none of us would be here without it! However, neither my OH nor me want children. He's just not a fan of kids in general whereas I don't mind them particularly (as long as they're not pooping/screaming/breaking my stuff). I have two main reasons why I don't want them: I don't want to bring something so fragile and precious into such a corrupt and overpopulated world...I wouldn't be emotionally strong enough to handle it if anything bad happened. I also don't think I'd be an especially good mother and I don't think I'd ever be able to give a child the life I believe they all deserve. For these and a host of more selfish reasons about wanting a career etc. I think kids are definately out of the picture!

    AdnaW wrote:

    AA - I don't use condoms and take my pill REALLY badly, anytime between 9pm and 3am which I'm sure ain't good and I ain't preggers yet! I'm sure as long as your dilligent then you'll be fine. I've made a decision to be more careful with mine seeings how abortion would never be right for me (personal reasons, don't judge anyone who has to make that tough decision!) and I defo ain't ready for a kid yet!

    Ax

    I have a Merina coil implant that only needs replacing every 5 years. I don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill and the only side effect is that I don't have periods (or babies!) WIN-WIN I'd say!

    xxKPxx

    1254612330
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have a Merina coil implant that only needs replacing every 5 years. I don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill and the only side effect is that I don't have periods (or babies!) WIN-WIN I'd say!

    xxKPxx

    I'm too young for the coil....they usually only give them to women who've had babies (although obviously not in your case!) I can't remember why....I need the pill anyway, for the aforementioned endometriosis

    I hate my pill so I've considered all the other options....I'm currently in the process of switching to a different pill to try and find one with better side effects!

    Ax

    1254612575
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have a Merina coil implant that only needs replacing every 5 years. I don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill and the only side effect is that I don't have periods (or babies!) WIN-WIN I'd say!

    xxKPxx

    I'm too young for the coil....they usually only give them to women who've had babies (although obviously not in your case!) I can't remember why....I need the pill anyway, for the aforementioned endometriosis

    I hate my pill so I've considered all the other options....I'm currently in the process of switching to a different pill to try and find one with better side effects!

    Ax

    I had my coil put in when I was twenty Tis one that releases hormones ... it's a very clever little thing! I used to get really, really awful period pains but not since I've had this in. Plus it's equally as effective as a sterilisation operation (but completely reversible - if you take it out you go back to normal)

    xxKPxx

    1254612594
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Ok, Please ignore this post. Dont go replying with "where I went wrong" cuz I'm very aware. I went through a phaze of drinking far too much and while taking the pill, it didn't work with the hangovers and throwing up. Sadly I became pregnant, and was not aware until I had the miscarraige.. This still isn't enough to make me want to use condoms though.

    List of reasons why I dont want kids.

    1. Expensive

    2. Couldn't look after one because of my depression bouts

    3. Post natal depression runs in the family.

    4. Hyperactivity runs in the family (Really bad. My uncle gets prescribed dope for his in adulthood!)

    5. Wouldn't want to end up like my own mother

    6. Fear of childbirth!

    Well done honestly, I think it takes courage to be that selfless!

    I want kids so desperately that I'm willing to overlook the possibility that they may inherit my (albeit non - life threatening) condition, I think that will make some people think I am selfish, but kids has always been in my life plan and I know how to manage my condition, awareness would mean my kids would have an easier childhood than I did!

    I'm also terrified of childbirth - mainly because I tear everytime I have sex....if I can't get a cock in it, how the hell will I get a baby out of it?! And I have heard horror stories about shattered perineums!

    Ax

    1254613286
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Of course a good contraception is Arthritus..

    xxx

    Ahhh tragi-comedy ... I don't know whether to laugh or cry! You're such a little trooper though girly

    xxKPxx

    1254613290
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    AdnaW wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have a Merina coil implant that only needs replacing every 5 years. I don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill and the only side effect is that I don't have periods (or babies!) WIN-WIN I'd say!

    xxKPxx

    I'm too young for the coil....they usually only give them to women who've had babies (although obviously not in your case!) I can't remember why....I need the pill anyway, for the aforementioned endometriosis

    I hate my pill so I've considered all the other options....I'm currently in the process of switching to a different pill to try and find one with better side effects!

    Ax

    I had my coil put in when I was twenty Tis one that releases hormones ... it's a very clever little thing! I used to get really, really awful period pains but not since I've had this in. Plus it's equally as effective as a sterilisation operation (but completely reversible - if you take it out you go back to normal)

    xxKPxx

    May have to do even more research....I never considered anything with less control than the pill before, with the coil, implant and injection only some people never have periods, others still have them....I used to be in a long distance relationship so getting to choose when my periods were was appealing to me, I just know I'd be one of the unlucky ones to still have periods on the coil/implant/injection! I have about 2 periods a year now, usually take upto 6 pill packets in a row....maybe it's worth looking into the coil/implant/injection again now that I'm not in a long distance relationship.

    Ax

    1254613593
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    AdnaW wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have a Merina coil implant that only needs replacing every 5 years. I don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill and the only side effect is that I don't have periods (or babies!) WIN-WIN I'd say!

    xxKPxx

    I'm too young for the coil....they usually only give them to women who've had babies (although obviously not in your case!) I can't remember why....I need the pill anyway, for the aforementioned endometriosis

    I hate my pill so I've considered all the other options....I'm currently in the process of switching to a different pill to try and find one with better side effects!

    Ax

    I had my coil put in when I was twenty Tis one that releases hormones ... it's a very clever little thing! I used to get really, really awful period pains but not since I've had this in. Plus it's equally as effective as a sterilisation operation (but completely reversible - if you take it out you go back to normal)

    xxKPxx

    May have to do even more research....I never considered anything with less control than the pill before, with the coil, implant and injection only some people never have periods, others still have them....I used to be in a long distance relationship so getting to choose when my periods were was appealing to me, I just know I'd be one of the unlucky ones to still have periods on the coil/implant/injection! I have about 2 periods a year now, usually take upto 6 pill packets in a row....maybe it's worth looking into the coil/implant/injection again now that I'm not in a long distance relationship.

    Ax

    Definately worth having a chat to your doctor

    I can't ever take the pill because my mum had an oestrogen sensitive breast cancer so I'm considered high-risk and can't have any extra oestrogen. The coil for me has been an absolutely hassle free blessing!!! My periods used to be heavy, irregular and painful (tripple whammy of fun!) but now they're just not there!

    xxKPxx

    1254613774
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    A lass who used to live in the same hostel as me a while back was forced to have the coil in her arm, because they didn't want her getting pregnant in the hostel accomadation!! That was a nightmare. I got her to stand her ground in the end, but geez!

    That's actually terrible! That some people think that would ever be acceptable makes me sad!

    Ax

    1254648329
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    I do think it depends on the person as to when you are ready. Money isn't everything, but personally I would like to be financially secure before I have kids - although it's whether it will work like that or not, I have endometriosis and have terrible problems with tearing so I'm thinking labour will be a no no, I need to get cracking on the child front, my mother started trying for me at 24 having been told she'd never have kids if she didn't get a move on (due to the endo she had) and it took her 2 years to conceive. Having kids has always been so important to me so as soon as I am in a position, and have confirmed that I will be able to have a planned C section then I will be getting a move on. Although I've been on the pill since 15 to target the endo so hopefully I'll have longer than my mum.

    Wow SG69, it amazes me when people have the strength to be a foster parent! I don't think I could do it, your OH sounds like an amazing person (and am I right in saying she teaches sign?) how you aren't bragging about her every day on here I don't know!

    I agree with many on here, everyone has the right to make their own choice!

    AA - I don't use condoms and take my pill REALLY badly, anytime between 9pm and 3am which I'm sure ain't good and I ain't preggers yet! I'm sure as long as your dilligent then you'll be fine. I've made a decision to be more careful with mine seeings how abortion would never be right for me (personal reasons, don't judge anyone who has to make that tough decision!) and I defo ain't ready for a kid yet!

    Ax

    Thankyou AdnaW! She is an amazing person and the sign classes have finished till next year! LOL. I will brag more. . . . .ABOUT SEX! Tee Hee

    SG69 x

    1254660320
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha good for you AA!! That really is terrible though that they were like that!!

    Ohhh and missed your comment about the implant last night (my LH site was going crazy, anyone else have this?) definately will do careful research before I get anyone to stick anything inside my body!

    Ohhh kittypurry sounds like the best option to have the coil then! Must worry you a lot!

    ax

    1254660767
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    Haha good for you AA!! That really is terrible though that they were like that!!

    Ohhh and missed your comment about the implant last night (my LH site was going crazy, anyone else have this?) definately will do careful research before I get anyone to stick anything inside my body!

    Ohhh kittypurry sounds like the best option to have the coil then! Must worry you a lot!

    ax

    I do freak out from time to time. I though I found a lump once and went to the doctors, he had a quick prod around then said "nothing worth bothering me about, don't you know your own breasts?!" I was devasted! The nurse looked after me and appologised profusely, apparently the doctor hadn't bothered to look at my medical notes where he would have seen my family history! In spite of the crappy experience I wouldn't let this put me off going if I wasn't sure again!

    xxKPxx

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