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  1. Babies

    1218976792
    crayola [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2008

    Just a thought- whats everyone view on the traditional use of sex, ie- procreation?

    I just don't want kids, but I'm sick of being told thats a selfish way to think.

    1218977165
    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 7 Jul 2008

    I go along with you Crayola, who would be brave enough to bring kids into this world theswe days, we might not be around much longer !!!!!!! - some peoples viewpoint l dare say.

    Loads of people out here prepared to knock them out like peas from a pod- only contributes to the shortages ha ha.

    I seem to recall Princess Anne using the selfish argument, bit like Prince Philip saying he didn't believe in mortgage tax relief- where was the geyser coming from, bloody joker !!!

    Take it they are family and friends giving you this gip Cray hun?

    Tallboy

    1218978335
    Mr & Mrs Naughty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 19 Jun 2008

    The sex for procreation line is strongly pedalled by the Catholic Church, which as everyone knows is a religion based on fostering feelings of guilt. You can do it, but don't dare to enjoy it type of thing. In fact most religions seem to feel it necessary to give you a long list of do's and don'ts regarding sex.

    The Catholic view that using a condom is a sin because it prevents procreation is utterly irresponsible when it is applied to African countries that are trying to stop their entire populations being infected by HIV.

    Crayola, who's bloody business is it to tell you whether you should have children or not? That's your decision, and yours alone. I get bloody sick of people these days telling you what you should and shouldn't do, and trying to make you feel guilty for not towing the traditional line.

    You do what you want, and if people don't like it tell them to stuff it and you'll send Mr.Naughty round to sort them out with his rubber handled hammer!

    1218979499

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 523
    • Joined: 13 May 2007

    Yeah that's crap for people to criticise you. I do want kids, but not for some time! I'm only 25. It's scary when people are sprogged up already!

    I agree with Mr N that the no condom thing, despite HIV, is just so irresponsible. We really need to wise up and realise that abstinence will not stop HIV!

    1218981006
    Horny Pony [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 159
    • Joined: 4 Aug 2008

    Nope I've never wanted kids either and have had some people have tried the 'that's so selfish' etc. It's your life and your choice so tell them to get stuffed. On the other hand I have had friends who are parents say that they don't blame me and if they had their time again then they wouldn't bother!! Although it can be rewarding it's not all roses having kids - my bro has his first sprog now (6 mnths old) and I've never seen him look so unhappy and knackered. Not my thing - I'm too busy having a good time to have kids. Good luck to you I say.

    1218981681
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 13 Aug 2008

    Well im 19 and i have 2 kids, the eldest will be 4 in March. And people say to me dont you miss out, and im like yeah but i still get out and have fun and be a normal 19 year old girl. And i have no regrets having my 2, yes its Knackering, but when you are putting them to bed at night and they look at you as you give them a cuddle its all worth it! And when they fall over or are ill with the cold and all they want if you the one person in the world.

    I wouldnt swap my life for anyone elses. But i do have to add, its everyones right to choose if they have children or not. Its your life and you make the choices no matter what anyone else tries to tell you.

    1218996888
    crayola [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 2 Jan 2008

    Mybadx- were either of them planned pregnancies? How've you had to adapt and stuff? I know you say you still do the regular 19 year old stuff (good on you!) but what have you done differently? You hear all sorts about 'sacrifices' and I just wonder if its true or not. (I'm curious- I'm only 20, and I can't even imagine having children right now even if I wanted them!)

    I love kids, I just cannot do babies, and the idea of pregnancy makes me feel physically ill- if I ever get the maturnal urges I'll adopt.

    I really do admire those who seem natural with kids and have the ability to raise them (especially at 15- I'd have aborted) I'm just sick of reading all this shite about how a woman isn't fulfilled until she has a child. I'll be fulfilled once I've got all my dreams sorted, and if they don't end up being childcentric then who cares? Leave the mothering to those that wants to do and therefore will be best at it I say.

    1218998718
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    crayola wrote:

    Mybadx- were either of them planned pregnancies? How've you had to adapt and stuff? I know you say you still do the regular 19 year old stuff (good on you!) but what have you done differently? You hear all sorts about 'sacrifices' and I just wonder if its true or not. (I'm curious- I'm only 20, and I can't even imagine having children right now even if I wanted them!)

    I love kids, I just cannot do babies, and the idea of pregnancy makes me feel physically ill- if I ever get the maturnal urges I'll adopt.

    I really do admire those who seem natural with kids and have the ability to raise them (especially at 15- I'd have aborted) I'm just sick of reading all this shite about how a woman isn't fulfilled until she has a child. I'll be fulfilled once I've got all my dreams sorted, and if they don't end up being childcentric then who cares? Leave the mothering to those that wants to do and therefore will be best at it I say.

    Neither of them was planned, and i mean i adapted rather well. I never let anyone intefer when my first child was born just to see if i could cope, and if i needed the help i would have asked, but never needed it. Moved out of my mums the minute i had her and have never went back, and well i fell pregnant with the second i was happy with what had happened but the father wanted but at the end of the day it was my choice.

    And i mean yeah i have made sacrafises my not going to college etc and some nights i cant go out with my mates due to the lack of babysitter or the kids need me due to illness or whatever, but then i think well there will come a time when they dont need me as much as they do now and i will still be young enough to go and live my life to the way i could have.

    Most of the time you find people exagerte to stop teen-pregnancys, i mean if a teenager who wanted a baby i wouldnt advise them to, but its everyones own choice at the end of the day!! This is just how my life was ment to be and to be totally honest with you before i fell pregnant with my first i always said like you i never wanted kids my life was going to be about me and me only.

    The one thing i do find is that society is so much quicker to judge a teen parent than anyone else as a parent, as i have had from experience like doing the weekly shop and you have a screaming child the looks from other shoppers says it all.

    If you have anymore questions please dont hesitate to ask, the only way we learn is by asking :)

    1218999711
    crayola [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 2 Jan 2008

    A couple of my mates have had their first babies or pregnancies recently (or as we left year eleven even- amazing how many girls at my school got pregnant when doing their GCSEs. I had only just got to third base by the end of them! lol), and they all seem to have flourished from it, so I would assume that not every teen mother is a sponge on society!

    I guess it's just a stigma isn't the whole young mum= bad mum thing. When you look at some of the 30 year olds bashing their kids round the ears in town I sometimes doubt age has much to do with it...

    I'm betting I'd be able to cope with a baby if I had to, but I think I'll continue learning to look after me for a good while yet lol.

    1219001729
    pinkbeach [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I think it's your body do what you want. Young mums do well, I couldnt do it as Im only 21 and enjoy my life too much to give it up for a child. That may sounds selfish but I want to enjoy being a young adult, get married and see the world with my partner. Kids will come later, Id love to be a mum but the time is not right, I still have alot of growning to do myself.

    1219002651
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    pinkbeach wrote:

    Yeah I think it's your body do what you want. Young mums do well, I couldnt do it as Im only 21 and enjoy my life too much to give it up for a child. That may sounds selfish but I want to enjoy being a young adult, get married and see the world with my partner. Kids will come later, Id love to be a mum but the time is not right, I still have alot of growning to do myself.

    Why would it be selfish to not want a child at the moment?

    When I was young I never wanted kids but always assumed one day I would, come late thirties we had done a lot of travelling and the OH and myself just decided one afternoon while being naughty in the pool that the time was right.

    For me it is not the age of the 'young mum' in the supermarket but if she lights up a cig. as soon as she gets out of the shop in front of the kids/babies. I guess all (or certainly most of us) judge others to some extent.

    1219003216
    pinkbeach [sign in to see picture]
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    Some young mums or dads may take offence in some way and think it sounds selfish...

    1219003483
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    We had the 'so when are you going to have your second' and 'oh, just the one" comments.

    What ever age you are there will always be some ... just smile and ignore them.

    1219006924
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    pinkbeach wrote:

    Some young mums or dads may take offence in some way and think it sounds selfish.

    Those who take that statement as selfish aint happy in there situation. Thats the way i view it, so sorry if i offend anyone with that.

    The way i see it is, if its your time to have kids it will happen and not before, only you know if you want them or a ready for them. Life would be a bit boring if we were all the same, we learn from other people and there experiences in life.

    I had to laugh not long ago when some one told me to grow up, i just turned round and said i have had enough growing up to do before itwas my time to so i think its someone elses turn to....

    1219007038
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    For me it is not the age of the 'young mum' in the supermarket but if she lights up a cig. as soon as she gets out of the shop in front of the kids/babies. I guess all (or certainly most of us) judge others to some extent

    ^^^^^ Im not understanding what you are saying here, could you please maybe explain to me a little more clearly.

    1219010260
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    My kids father did stick around but in the end there was just nothing left between us. We didnt want to be with each other anymore.

    We are much happier now and have both moved on to find new partners...and get on alot better. He has his regular access with the kids and i also find he does more with them now than he ever did when he was with me.

    1219019935
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    mybadx wrote:

    For me it is not the age of the 'young mum' in the supermarket but if she lights up a cig. as soon as she gets out of the shop in front of the kids/babies. I guess all (or certainly most of us) judge others to some extent

    ^^^^^ Im not understanding what you are saying here, could you please maybe explain to me a little more clearly.

    Been around Americans too long ...

    In an earlier post on this thread someone said they found parents (I assume of any age) smacking around their children an issue not the fact they were young or old.

    I notice that as well but my particular 'issue' is parents (of any age) smoking around their children/babies not because of 2nd hand smoking but purely because of the example it sets to the kids.

    I would not dream of interfering with their 'rights', it is just something I notice in the UK that I don't see (generally) in the US.

    Did not mean to course offence or confusion

    1219046778
    crayola [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh god the smoking round children thing. I hate smoking at the best of times, but holding your cigarette so the baby gets a face full of smoke makes me really want to say something. But generally the mothers that do it are the ones who'd beat the crap out of your for looking at them the wrong way (and also give their kids stupid names, which I'm sure should also be classified as child abuse...)

    1219052822
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah i know what you mean now, and it causes no offence what so ever.

    And on the subject of stupid names, i know a couple who have just a had a baby girl and the name of choice was....Nevis!! Now they dont seem to realise that the child has to grow up with that name. (sorry if offended any1)

    1225845422
    Mucky Duck [sign in to see picture]
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    Kids are great, best thing that ever happened to me & the wife. BUT...By christ, your world as you know it will explode & become unrecognisable. You automatically get a software update for parenthood. I thought I'd never cope as I thought I'd be too selfish. You just go into baby mode.

    Don't let anyone pressure you into have kids, only you can make the call if you are ready, there's no second chances with the important shit in life so don't sell out (its the biggest thing that can ever happen)! You , only you will know if & when you're ready, theres no single life plan for us all. The grass is always greener....

    Don't get me started on people smoking round kids, they should be jailed. You see kids with fag ash on them or stuck outside freezing with their mums Amazing, they can't afford decent food for the kids but they've still got enough for ten Lambert & a bottle of WKD!

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