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  1. Just how big is to big?

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    BigishBen [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 144
    • Joined: 17 Sep 2013

    Sometimes when me an my wife have sex, I know sometimes I can hurt her (unintentionally) when we do certain positions/angles and it can be quite frustrating. Like for example in a cowgirl position she never manages to take my full length yet in porn women ride things considerably longer than mine no problem?

    Has anyone ever encountered a similar problem with size?

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6515
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    I'll be blunt here. Don't compare your sex life to a pornstars.

    You don't know whether they are in pain or not and faking enjoyment for the camera. You don't see how much training they've had to do to take these bigger penises, how much warm up they did beforehand or how much lubricant they've used. I watched a documentary on porn once and it covered this exact thing, but the girls were being treated for vaginal tears on a regular basis. Not sexy at all.

    If this only occurs in girl on top positions, then play around with the angles. If she's sitting straight up, she could be shortening her vaginal canal unintentionally. Leaning back or forward can help with this. She might be hesitating to go deeper based on past experiences with discomfort too and that psychological cycle can be a tough thing to break. If you expressed your frustration to her she might be feeling self-conscious or under pressure to perform now, even if that was not your intention.

    The bottom line is that all vaginas are different. Some have shorter canals, some have longer, and some people have tilted cervixes that prevent comfortable deep penetration. I'm one of those people. I can take seven inches on a good day but usually I'm restricted to five because of the positioning of my cervix. It was annoying at first but I accepted that that's just how my body is and now we avoid certain positions and use ones that feel good for both of us. Maybe you'll need to do the same 🙂

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    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 30 Jan 2013

    Great advice from natandtom. I watched it too and most of the girls really didn't enjoy it.

    Everyone is different! I use to have no problem taking a longer penis, but since having two children it has defiantly changed. As soon as it hits my cervix I instantly tense and feel uncomfortable . Don't take it to heart, talk about what's best for her x

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    BigishBen [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 17 Sep 2013

    Thanks N and T . That's generally what we do. Missionary is usually fine but anything with raised legs by her results in me hitting the back, so to speak which isn't pleasant for either of us. Don't worry I don't compare anything to porn I was just using that as an example. When she is on top I try to get her to just relax, the last thing I want is to hurt her. I usually use the coital alignment techneque (CAT) as the go to position now as we both seem to enjoy this.

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    TactileR1cky [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 16 Apr 2017

    In a previous relationship had always be careful deep penetration with my far fm prn star aversge hmm length as partner had lower back problem. A few times had difficulty maintaining as didn't want to hurt .Sadly that rship of 7 years ended as she convinced herself i found her unattractive (not case ) plus non bedroom issues.Again thanks nat and tom another good post,as was yr useful vegan condom review as i also want to take my veganism further when i lucky to be in new relationship

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    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    NatandTom I have the same problem, my cervix is low which is restrictive and sex can be uncomfortable. Deep penetration is a no-no for me, and I can't swing my legs over OH's shoulders as I can't take very deep thrusting.

    The way around this for me is to try to get into a position where OH's willy doesn't go too deep, or to get him to aim for my g spot rather than straight inside me. Once you're in a comfortable position you can go for it!

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    Mr&MrsA75 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 14 Jan 2012

    Hi :)

    Not much more to add here as the advice given is already excellent. I just wanted to add that where she is in her cycle can also cause her to feel discomfort at different times. I can take a good 8.5/9 inches on a good day no dramas, but at certain times in my cycle the cervix drops and its not only impossible its painful. We have to be creative with positions as others have suggested and I can't use certain toys etc.

    I also second the advice to talk to her, put her mind at ease and discuss exactly what it is that makes her uncomfortable. Is she in pain? What causes the pain? What positions? Is she hesitating due to a past incident? It is not so much pain more an actual lack of room? Is she picking up on your frustration (however unintentional) during sex and feeling uncomfortable? The communication the better

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    hippy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 15 Jul 2014

    I was sent a pic before I saw my new partner and my first thought was too big as my ex was 6 inches and I suffered with battered cervix after doggie.
    He is 8 inches and very wide and I was extremely worried.
    He had obviously come across problems with his size before and sex was not a problem even thou I had to get used the the girth slowly.
    I did ask him if he'd managed to get his full length in as I wasn't in painful like previously with a much shorter penis and he replied he didn't push it all in and learned to know when it's too far.
    I can only advise you to speak to her in different positions so you know how much she can take before it becomes painful but by what you describe she can't take your length while on top of she would have. Most women find it very painful after if it goes too deep.

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