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  1. Dating an older man

    1492337322
    Natlai [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 22 Nov 2012

    Hi all first time poster so sorry if this is in the wrong place.

    I've been seeing an older man for the past couple of months. I'm 33 and he's 48. Of the few times we've got hot and heavy he's lost his erection and not been able to get it back. I've tried everything that I can think of to help like sex toys and dressing up but I don't really want to make it into a big thing.

    Any ideas what i can do to help relax him

    Thanks
    Natasha

    1492339900
    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1259
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2016

    I've got no advice I'm afraid but didn't want you post to go unanswered. So I thought I'd say welcome to the forum. There are products sold on love honey for these kind of things and I'm sure there will be plenty of members who can help you. Good luck with finding a good solution 🙂

    1492340573
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1760
    • Joined: 15 May 2016

    Cock rings can help maintain an erection,

    I recommend the 50 shades ones

    1492340682
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    There could be lots of reasons for this so it's going to be a trial and error basis. For example he could have a touch of Ed of which the best way would be to see a health professional.Assuming that it isnt a health issue there are some other factors . First of all you must be a good catch for him and I dare say he a good catch for you.

    He could be a little nervous as you would probably still be in your prime and may have a higher sex drive and therefore could be quite demanding for an older guy. As an older guy myself we do start slowing down as its natures way of ensuring that there arnt numerous numbers of elderly fathers about.In a typical session with my Mrs I can manage making love to her a maximum of 2 times before I am spent. To pad this out we tend to enjoy a lot of fore play and use toys to keep my Mrs going longer .

    I hate coming accross as being a killjoy but he isn't 22 and will not be able to perform like he was 22.So your expectations may need to be adjusted,

    What I would do if he hasn't already got one is the use of a clock ring. This will help sustain him for a much longer period and will help to keep you satisfied instead of perhaps frustrated. If you csn take things at a slower pace perhaps start off cuddling and kissing and perhaps slowly undressing. Guy luv visuals and being honest I would prefer to make love to my Mrs when she as some items of lingerie on rather than naked. So you could try that to see it it works for you.

    Like I said before its going to be a trial and error basis and others on here will have some differnt ideas to try as well.

    So don't dispair but persevere and don't be critical of him as that would hurt him .It may help also to have a chat with him just to make sure there arnt any other issues like stress,work ,money problems .All these would hinder performance.

    Good luck.

    1492347685
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 12520
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    mysteron wrote:

    There could be lots of reasons for this so it's going to be a trial and error basis. For example he could have a touch of Ed of which the best way would be to see a health professional.Assuming that it isnt a health issue there are some other factors . First of all you must be a good catch for him and I dare say he a good catch for you.

    He could be a little nervous as you would probably still be in your prime and may have a higher sex drive and therefore could be quite demanding for an older guy. As an older guy myself we do start slowing down as its natures way of ensuring that there arnt numerous numbers of elderly fathers about.In a typical session with my Mrs I can manage making love to her a maximum of 2 times before I am spent. To pad this out we tend to enjoy a lot of fore play and use toys to keep my Mrs going longer .

    I hate coming accross as being a killjoy but he isn't 22 and will not be able to perform like he was 22.So your expectations may need to be adjusted,

    What I would do if he hasn't already got one is the use of a clock ring. This will help sustain him for a much longer period and will help to keep you satisfied instead of perhaps frustrated. If you csn take things at a slower pace perhaps start off cuddling and kissing and perhaps slowly undressing. Guy luv visuals and being honest I would prefer to make love to my Mrs when she as some items of lingerie on rather than naked. So you could try that to see it it works for you.

    Like I said before its going to be a trial and error basis and others on here will have some differnt ideas to try as well.

    So don't dispair but persevere and don't be critical of him as that would hurt him .It may help also to have a chat with him just to make sure there arnt any other issues like stress,work ,money problems .All these would hinder performance.

    Good luck.

    +1...excellent advice xx

    1492358429
    Natlai [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 22 Nov 2012

    Thanks all for your advice and great help mystron. I have purchased some lacey bits and pieces too see if it will help also got a cock ring so will give all that a go later 😀.

    Will go slow and easy

    Thanks

    X

    1492360473
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1767
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    I could be a bit of performance anxiety. You are 15 years younger than him, and he must be thinking you could have a much younger guy if you wanted, and so be putting pressure on him self to be the best he can for you. The result of so much pressure can be ED, the first time it happened to him, could have been first time pressure, to be like a younger guy for you. This can happen very quickly, and once it does, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy; he is thinking that much about it happening again he litterally makes it happen.

    The best thing you can do is to constantly reasure him, that he is what you want; not some younger, more active, more atractive guy. Don't make a big thing out of it, just support him, and say it's ok; and that you will work with him to get past this. Don't put to much emphasis on getting hot and heavy, work up to it a bit and give him chance to relax, let him get comfortable with just being intimate and passionate with you. So he doesn't start to over think it, and convince himself that it's going to happen again.

    let him set the speed of things, so he feels a bit more in control, and not fighting to keep up with his young woman.

    Of couse I could be totally wrong, that this is his problem; but it's something to try.

    1492516966
    Natlai [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Nov 2012

    Alicia4ever thanks so much. I had the thought that he must be thinking about it. He's only had 3 partners 2 of which were wifes 1 girlfriend and then me. Just need to take our time and reassure him that I'm not going elsewhere.

    He's fab at foreplay and everything else think he is putting to much pressure on himself to please me and make me orgasm.

    1492521107
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1419
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    Does he have Diabetes or depression? Those meds for that can produce that effect.

    Sidenafil is the drug that the NHS tend to prescribe for ED, your GP will be able to prescribe that and if he fits the critria. The two deseases mentioned will certainly put them in that bracket.

    They will only offer one tablet per week, but the good news is that in being prescribed it, at the consultation, ask if its ok to suppliment the prescription by buying more for the month. In my case the GP said I could have it everyday. I do know of somebody who was told not more than 1 per week as they have blood pressure issues, so please don't take them beyond your GP's recommendation.

    LH have their own erection enhancement sprays and tablets which if your OH's health is good maybe your prefered route to help with this issue.

    Good luck anyhow and welcome aboard the LH forum

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