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  1. Help with lost orgasms

    Katie79 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2017

    Hi folks.

    I've only been using toys for solo play for around 6 months. I had hardly ever been bought to orgasm before during sex and hoped that learning how to bring myself to orgasm would help.
    Well it has, and I know know what buttons to press and what works for me.
    But recently I've hit a problem.
    When I start off I can generally orgasm within 60 seconds. But I stopped finding this satisfying. So I have started edging myself. But when I've 'backed off' just before orgasm I've not once been able to get myself back up to that point and bring myself to orgasm no matter how long I keep going for. I'm finding this really frustrating as I feel that if I don't just let go and have a fast orgasm then I won't have one at all so my solo session ends up disappointing and I give up.
    Any ideas why this is?

    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2779
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Hiya! Are you using the same toy every session? It may be that you are accustomed to this and needing a little change.

    Katie79 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2017

    Hey RosyCheek

    No I've already accumulated a really good collection lol. Including anal toys. Obviously I have my favourites but I certainly swap them out for a change of stimulation and sensation.

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2041
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Hi Katie, It's possible that you are getting to close to the edge, when edging; which can cause a ruined orgasm. Thats where your body thinks you have cum, but you stopped short, and didn't feel the orgasm. Try backing off a little sooner.

    Another thing you could try is this. Guys who masturbate a lot and use a heavy hand to get off quick, can then have problems cumming during sex. If you masturbate often and hard you may become less sensitve, like guys do. The down side to this could be that you make it harder to orgasom duing sex.

    When you go solo, are you just stimulating your clit. or do you use a dildo or such at the same time; and have a combined orgasm. Or have you ever tried to cum just by internal stimulation. Are you always using toys now to have these super fast unsatisfying orgasms? If you are then maybe start off with just fingers, and just use the toy to finnish yourself off.

    Also do you just go straight in for the orgasm ? try being sensual with yourself; touch your body all over, there are lots of spots on the body that respond sexually, sensual, to being touched. Go around the bushes, so to speak; for example I can orgasm if i lay on my back and put a bullet vibe under my spine on my lower back. But stimulating your whole body can be one way to build up slowly to orgasm.

    This below, is from a recent post of mine, you may find it helpful.

    Do you touch your body; all over that is ? explore your body, not just down there . Try this.

    Create the path in your mind first, visualise it, see it in detail every thing the feelings in your heart, the sensations in your mind. try this; get relaxed on your bed and using just your finger tips on both hands, put them on your pubis and gently draw them over your skin up your tummy between your breasts, go in a circle on your breasts, then back up your cleavage up the side of your neck to your ears, go around your ear lobes so that you hear the rustle. All the time you are drawing your fingers over your body gather up the sensations as if they are something soild and tangible, and sweep them in to you mind through your ears. Go back down your neck and this time use the back of your fingers to sweep down the sides of your body, go around your breasts again then on down to your hips, draw up your knees and sweep down the out side of your thighs, then onto the inside of your thighs, over your sex, then back up the center again to your ears, to deliver the sensations.

    Do this over and over, when you feel it more, spend a little more time stroking your vulva, labia, and clitoris. Keep only the sensations you feel from your body in you mind, like meditation. When you feel this working well send half the sensations inside your body as you draw your fingers up to your ears from your sex, let them follow your fingers on the outside. This creates a mental pathway for physical sensations from your vagina, to your clit, and from both those to your mind. If you put in a little reverse going from your clit to your vulva, then back again, before moving up you body you mind can create a link between your vulva and your clit, and also draw in all the other spots you pass over, and up inside your body, and link them all to you mind.

    It sounds a bit weird but it works for me, it does take practice, belief and patience though.

    Can you have multiple orgasms, or have you never tried ? one thing guys can do to keep a session going longer, or to help with premature ejaculation is to cum, say from oral, then wait a little while, doing something else for her, and then get hard again. The second and subsequent times will get longer before they orgasm. This could work for you too.

    Katie79 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2017

    Thanks Alicia4ever! This all makes sense, I do use multiple toys at once, so a bullet for clit and a vibe for vaginal and often a butt plug too!!
    I've never been able to orgasm just from internal stimulation, I've always needed clit stimulation too. And yes I always dive straight in with toys first.
    I will try some of this out tonight, it sounds very sensual, the sort of thing I could lay and let a man do all night, but never tried it on myself!!
    And no I've never had multiples, I've tried but once I orgasm it's like I loose all sensation immediately.

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