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  1. Very tight, buying something to open me up a bit before sex advice

    1493636247
    Lilmisshottie [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Aww Aly, I'm soooo sorry to hear that. Communication is essential here, could you express the feelings to him? It's obviously when sex isn't two sided kinda thing so ends up a complete turn off which isn't how it should be. If you're nervous of approaching him perhaps write a letter or show him this thread. You deserve better hunni, we should all be fulfilled in our sex-lives, pleasing eachother regardless of drive should be a priority. If I thought for a second hubby wasn't "fully into it" I'd stop and have alot to say.


    Glass is exquisite. The weight, non porous, cooling or heating, the beauty, easy to clean, they are unbelievable! I thought it was a farse lol n the last insertable typed toys I bought, waw it was a massive hit! The only toy that really works for me (without tmi,) is glass with wand or desire bullet, the results are explosive where no other combinations achieve ought like that! Sorry I'm not the best at explaining but glass is class, the one squirty panda linked looks purfect for you (and me straight onto wishlist, ) but i do advise warming up with a smaller/clitoral toy first as because of the solid material it's more "filling" if you get me. And lubricant is the greatest creation. I'd recommend the sliquid range aswell as the Lovehoney discover anal lube (works brilliant for both, being labelled as anal lube due to being thicker and longer lasting.)

    Been thinking of you, good luck with your OH, keep us posted if you don't mind 😙💗


    Squirty panda, am not sure about girthier glass as I'm more into smaller ones,you could request on the panda to me thread if nought fits your requirements in the glass section hunni😙💗xx

    I have to echo slinky and SP! The advice they have given (along with everyone else of course) is fab. I would also agree about the glass toys and urge you to try them with or without your Oh! I also get the feeling that you are both a bit younger (could be wrong so apologies if I am) From my own experiences I can relate to being with someone who wasn't as committed to sexual exploration. Prior to being with my OH the guy I was with was not interested in even talking about sex, and if I tried he would take it as a criticism, now here is the thing, he was the first guy I slept with and despite this I knew that the sex was not good. If I had been more confident (he drained all my confidence made out I was wrong/a slut/or telling him he was shit in bed) and honest in all honesty I should have said my sexual needs deserved a voice and to be recognised, but on retrospect and in light of my experience with my now OH I can without doubt say that sex should not be a taboo subject between a couple and after just discussing your issue with my OH he has offered his insight. He wants to know what I want, he wants to turn me on, he wants to feel how wet he makes me as he says this in turn, turns him on! Like GG my oh loves to use his tongue, fingers, lips to feel and play leading up to penetration and not just so I can take him, but because everything that comes before intercourse is as amazing and adds to the anticipation and feel when we do get there. I understand that you are looking for a way to avoid pain due to you being tighter but this is not your sole responsibility, I would gently suggest you be honest with yourself and your Oh, if he is resistant and not open to work with you then maybe consider that sexually you are not compatible. This doesn't automatically mean you shouldn't be together, lots of couples find themselves in the same position the difference being they recognise it and work together and compromise with each other so it can work, at the end of the day only you know if this will influence you staying together. My last point (sorry for such a long post) is to say that it is 100% ok for you to tell your oh how you feel and what you need and that turning you on should be as important to him as it is for you turning him on. Will be thinking of you, and if you need more advice etc you know where to come! Lilmiss x
    1493719032
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi AlyBlue, I like glass because it can be warmed or cooked to your pleasure (if you're tight I'd recommend warming it gently first in warm water), for me I like a curved dildo so it hits my g spot (yum!) not my cervix (ouch). The more curve, the better for me. Glass is solid and inflexible so if you like a firm pressure on your g spot then it's ideal. I like softer material on my clit though as I'm uber sensitive there.

    Angle wise, I lay on my back and push vibrators firmly against my g spot so I don't tend to use anything too lengthy. Like I say, the angle is key so a nice curved vibrator is a must. I've reviewed the LH black Silicone g spot vibrator, that's great as it's very curved!

    Sex wise, doggy style can be painful but spooning is fantastic. I also like to lie on my back, he's on his side facing me, and he penetrates me and I fling my legs over him. He or I can stimulate my clit that way, I can reach over and stroke his balls and we both get a good view of each other, but he doesn't go in too deep.

    Missionary is also good but careful not to raise your legs too high or it deepens penetration (ouch again!)

    Hope that helps, try googling sex positions for smaller vaginas and see if there are any new positions you could try! In fact I think i might do the same!! Xx

    1493719074
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol I didn't check that last message very well - glass can be warmed or COOLED, not cooked!!! 😂

    1493728481

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    *sexybabe* wrote:

    Lol I didn't check that last message very well - glass can be warmed or COOLED, not cooked!!! 😂

    Ouchy lol

    1493733355

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    Gentle giant wrote:

    *sexybabe* wrote:

    Lol I didn't check that last message very well - glass can be warmed or COOLED, not cooked!!! 😂

    Ouchy lol

    😂😂i had a giggle at this one too💗xx
    1493749312
    Hands All Over [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    Aly i am not sure of uour ages but he sounds a bit immature and selgish TBH

    My partner will often times bring me to orgasm with oral sex, fingering or a toy prior to penetration... that is just ss part of sex as actual intercourse. Maybe w ork on extending foreplay as he may just not know what to do?

    I'm honestly wondering how this 'fix' works because I suffer from the same problem as Aly does and to be honest I really don't want to go down that road anymore (having pain for the first few minutes) as it put a huge strain on my previous relationship (penetration ended up being a no-go..). It's an issue that has made (and still makes) me feel insecure and I know that feeling that way only makes it even worse, which is extremely frustrating because it made me put penetration off despite me really wanting to try and enjoy that again..

    The thing is though.. if I come then my muscles will contract so much that it's not possible to put anything in anymore. I'm sure that's not just me seeing as that's how orgasms work but then how does having an orgasm first help? Do you just wait for your muscles relax again? I've heard this advice several times but I haven't really tried putting it into action yet.

    1493749514
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Slinky Binky & Lilmisshottie - ye going to try GG's idea of inticing and making opening me up sound sexy and see his response, if not good i'll convey my feelings in a nice by full way. Seeing him tomorrow so will have a go then :), All the guys in my past (apart from a one time night couple of hours with a mate during the summer) haven't cared about my pleasure, so in a sad way I'm sorta used to it, but I (now) know the sexual pleasure should be mutual. Ye, it sucks when you just know they arent't into it, i honestly normally just switch to playing with him when i feel that he isn't as its turn on for me turning him. (which i know is bad to do most the time). Lilmisshottie; I love him, its just working out the sexual kinks in the chain sort of thing, anything you'd suggest to entice him to do more foreplay? Thank you <3 x

    Sexybabe - So do you have your glass toy with a carrot and two potatoes then ;) haha. So the curved one help you find/hit the gspot then? thanks for the advice. Will google it too, but sounds like the spooning position is really comfortable and means he can play with my boobs at the same time, and the other ones means I can play with him too. Thank you so much you really have helped :D <3 <3 I'll message if I get any good ones :) xx

    Hmmm....I am tempted to try the glass toy, as heating it up a bit might also help with the tightness thing and relax me more. (The wand bit I'm already on ;) heaven! And persuaded OH to try it on me and he seems to be loving my reaction :P so could use that and glass at same time as you suggest (though would gladly take his fingers instead, would be good to try :) ). So the anal lube would be better you suggest? Is that because it's made to be wetter for longer? There aint any smaller girth so might ask pander me thread. Would be worked about chipping or breaking it though....glass is fragile :/.

    1493749521
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 - I'm 22 and OH is 25, that sounds nice, wanting to make you cum and play with you before sex. To be honest the foreplay in general is quite long, its just when I feel he isn't into it I can't build up and don't even come close to finishing. I catch him watching the tv sometimes...(that really doesn't impress me and I literally just stop him and tell him i'm not building up, so we cuddle instead or I finish him. I've told him if he got handsy and a little dominant and could feel he wanted, even a bit of dirty talk and tell me what to do I'd cum....but he's only tried that once really (he got a very good response from me though), but hasn't tried again. I've literally put his hand down there when i'm horny and he just left it on my leg :(. Any advice for getting him wanting to do more foreplay on me? x

    1493752444

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    It really upsets me as a man to hear of other men not trying to please their sexual partner or worse not considering their pleasure. It almost makes me angry to think their the same sex as me.

    As I have got older giving pleasure and seeing the effects of the pleasure I administer is what turns me on. I love , no lust and desire to give multiple orgasms. Particularly when giving oral. A woman's body is like a open flower feeding its nectar to the hungry hummingbird.. I become insatiable for it. I know I get carried away as I get pushed away and asked to stop.

    I don't like orgasming to I've given one at least. So often my own orgasm signal's the end of the session.

    I do like it when the roles are switched occasionally.

    Alyblue I do feel in time for you that you will loosen . your young and relatively new to sex. Being tight is something that some older women wish they could get back. So be careful what you wish for so quickly.

    Hands all over. You have had a bad time of it and I'm truly sorry gun. I feel you maybe suffering from vaginism. Involuntary muscle clenching to avoid pain.

    1493755709
    Hands All Over [sign in to see picture]
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    Gentle giant wrote:

    Hands all over. You have had a bad time of it and I'm truly sorry gun. I feel you maybe suffering from vaginism. Involuntary muscle clenching to avoid pain.

    Thank you Gentle Giant. I am suffering from that, very true. However, I also know it's not impossible to have penetrative sex again as I have in the past and I am actually able to insert dildo's/vibrators with patience. It's just so frustrating that my muscles are trained to clench up instead of relax and that I have to be very mindful in order to relax them when I just want to get down to business :( I'm doing better already with my crush though, I noticed, so fingers crossed it will finally happen again this year..

    1493765757

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    I wish you well its just time and someone who cares enough about you to be caring , kind and gentle. So your body relearns its! about pleasure and not pain.

    Hugs Gun. X

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