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  1. Very tight, buying something to open me up a bit before sex advice

    1491927866
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm really tight in the pussy department and takes a while for me to get even a bit open enough when OH is in the mood as he is very girthy (no complaints ;) ), was thinking of getting something I can play with myself with to open myself up while giving OH oral so that I don't get the pain for the first few minutes til i can enjoy it and he can get all the way in. Think he's about 5inch girth?

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35750

    or

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33962

    or any suggestions? Don't want to use dialators as just want one thing to use discreetly :) xx

    1491927983
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    are you wanting to be ahnds free to make it part of foreplay with him... a suction cup dildo may be a solid option?

    1491928116
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    I only need one hand free to play with him, so can have one hand to play with myself/toy :)....any recommendations on which if a suction cup then? x

    1491928289
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I have the second one and it's quite short in length but the girth should be a good size for you. x

    1491933559
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest I don't think warming up with something this size is a good idea if you are tight for him at a similar size. A dildo this size isn't discrete and if you have pain taking him them this will be the same.

    My suggestion would be to go a bit smaller and to focus more on making sure you are completely ready for him, take more time on the foreplay. Also, could he be the one to use it on you so it becomes part of the fun rather than a means the stretch you? X

    1491934022
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I think anything you use is going to prepare you a bit for him. so as long as it's not a slim toy, it won't matter what you use.

    Does he ever finger you? have you considered letting him do that for you while you give him oral, or use a toy on you. Bringing him into that action, at least sometimes, will stopping him wondering why you always do that on your own.

    To be honest I would explain why you want to do that. If you tell him that you love his size, but feel you need to work up a bit to him; as it's a bit of a stretch for you at first. You won't be having to try do it discreatly, plus if you don't say it in a way that makes him feel he is hurting you, when you have PIV sex; then it will give his ego a boost as well.

    1491934295
    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    I find kegel balls get me warmed up nicely and they are very discreet ๐Ÿ˜Š

    1492021509
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for te advice guys :) He finds it a bit weird using toys on me but seems open to it. :)

    Lil_ Red kegels balls are a good idea but its just the opening I need to open a bit more, no problem with the warming up bit per say ;P

    1492464341
    love honey magic [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you use lube? It's very good! I don't like sex without it now!

    1493382519

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    Ally this could and should be very erotic and exciting for you both. I've been here with a previous partner. It became a huge turn on for us both to have me finger her and gently over months open her up. Eventually working in one finger from each hand to spread her and then two.
    Think it drove me towards my medical kink. She used flex and tense involuntarily which was also erotic.
    From this we then did the same with her butt too.

    Hope this helps .
    Love GG x

    1493426533
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    GG I really wish as that sounds amazing, you actually getting turned on by doing this. I'll try to make it sound erotic to him and see what happens when I next see him as that would be really erotic for me, but i honestly dont have high hopes atm (bit down in general atm, so sorry for the down sounding writing, but thank you for the advice and I will try, If anything i am determined...or stubborn...maybe a bit of both) hugs xx

    1493427545

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    Hi alyblue, just wanting to chime in and say - relationships and sex means both parties should be eager to please the other one. It is obvious that you're pleasing him but please correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds as though hes not making the effort. GG suggestions spot on and the best way of achieving success, therefore your OH should most definitely want to do that for you. It'll be so beneficial in the long run too, and he may well find it erotic as pleasing one another in the bedroom is the best feeling ever๐Ÿ˜Š

    Hope you feel better soon hun ๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ’—xx

    1493451060
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Hi alyblue, just wanting to chime in and say - relationships and sex means both parties should be eager to please the other one. It is obvious that you're pleasing him but please correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds as though hes not making the effort.

    Agreed, why should 'this' be discreet? Its not a dirty job! He should be more willing to make you turned on enough to have him 'enter you' and you not having to 'prep' yourself in between fluffing him up. That would not be good enough for me at all. Cant think of anything un-arousing to be honest. Should be a joint effort!...

    Take a look at glass dildos available here, theyre usually slim in girth. Teamed up with some lube they slide in gloriously.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/glass-dildos/

    Good luck and let us know how you get on.

    ๐Ÿผ

    1493455597
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Is it wrong that I want to fill my house with glass dildos instead of ornaments? They're beautiful!! It's a shame I have to keep my two in my drawer, they're things of beauty! ๐Ÿ˜

    Good luck AlyBlue! I have the same problem, I can find dildos hurt unless I'm really relaxed and I find lashings of lube really help. I'm tight at my vaginal entrance and I have a low cervix so I have always had trouble taking bigger men. Getting warmed up properly and getting the angle right is vital, and then it's great!

    1493491682

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    Alyblue sorry to hear your down ATM.
    Sending a big GG bear hug xxx

    1493491967

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    Glass dildos as ornaments is a great idea. Also put them in the fridge and use them instead of ice mmmm. I had a wonderful wooden prostate stimulator it was to good to hide away .

    1493596776
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Slinky binky & SquirtyPanda - If I'm 100% honest....I feel like he's not putting the full effort in and enjoying it. I get off on turning him on and so when i feel like he's not enjoying giving it turns me off a bit. I know he has a lower x drive but :(. Going to go with GG's suggestion and try and see what OH reaction is when I make opening me up sound sexy. Although he doesnt satisfy me that much, I love him and just feel like he will change when he gets his drive back...just need to wait. I've always been a big giver, feel guilty if he goes down on me too long (just my nature, 1 reason i want to be tied up so i can relax and got no choose), so i naturally focus on him more.

    Glass dildos do look nice, why glass instead of normal though would you suggest? Will let you know how it goes <3 x

    1493596821
    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Sexybabe - hell no! Glass dildo oranments sound way more interesting that boring normal ones, and have a double use ;). Out of interest what position do you use for dildo and sex so is less painful and easier at the start? x

    GG - Thank you :) hugs much appriecated, hugs back x

    Thank you btw guys :) you really are helping, nice to have some support, I'll let you know how it goes (hopefully well) x

    1493613487

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    Aww Aly, I'm soooo sorry to hear that. Communication is essential here, could you express the feelings to him? It's obviously when sex isn't two sided kinda thing so ends up a complete turn off which isn't how it should be. If you're nervous of approaching him perhaps write a letter or show him this thread. You deserve better hunni, we should all be fulfilled in our sex-lives, pleasing eachother regardless of drive should be a priority. If I thought for a second hubby wasn't "fully into it" I'd stop and have alot to say.


    Glass is exquisite. The weight, non porous, cooling or heating, the beauty, easy to clean, they are unbelievable! I thought it was a farse lol n the last insertable typed toys I bought, waw it was a massive hit! The only toy that really works for me (without tmi,) is glass with wand or desire bullet, the results are explosive where no other combinations achieve ought like that! Sorry I'm not the best at explaining but glass is class, the one squirty panda linked looks purfect for you (and me straight onto wishlist, ) but i do advise warming up with a smaller/clitoral toy first as because of the solid material it's more "filling" if you get me. And lubricant is the greatest creation. I'd recommend the sliquid range aswell as the Lovehoney discover anal lube (works brilliant for both, being labelled as anal lube due to being thicker and longer lasting.)

    Been thinking of you, good luck with your OH, keep us posted if you don't mind ๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ’—


    Squirty panda, am not sure about girthier glass as I'm more into smaller ones,you could request on the panda to me thread if nought fits your requirements in the glass section hunni๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ’—xx

    1493623153
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Aly i am not sure of uour ages but he sounds a bit immature and selgish TBH

    My partner will often times bring me to orgasm with oral sex, fingering or a toy prior to penetration... that is just ss part of sex as actual intercourse. Maybe w ork on extending foreplay as he may just not know what to do?

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