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  1. How to make things more exciting

    1491913530
    SparklyGem [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 1 Sep 2014

    I'm married with kids and our sex life's gone off the boil a bit. We do have it but it's generally a bit of kissing, touching/ sucking and a quickie either me on top or him on top. It's not bad and we both usually cum but I just want to spice things up a bit. Because it's not that frequent either he tends to cum pretty quickly and I don't think he wanks much so I want to encourage him to do it more to try and last a bit longer.

    When we first got together he used to like watching me masturbate with a vibrator but I haven't done that in front of him for years and I wouldn't know how to introduce it again without him thinking that he's not enough for me.

    Neither of us are prudes but we're not really ones for dirty talk or anything kinky, it's always just been standard *you get me off, I'll get you off* kind of sex and I just don't know where to start.

    Any advice would be much appreciated ;)

    1491914139
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1399
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    Just keep tiping him the wink, for a day or two if possible, let him know something is gonna happen but don't tell him what. Then on the given night put the vibe under his pillow and let him find it, the rest will take care of itself.

    And who knows where that will lead to after that session, it often only takes a spark to create an inferno

    1491915027
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7166
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I know you have kids has stated but there must be grandparents in the background as well. Sooooooooooooooo. why not go out on a date night or two to bring that excitement back? Perhaps go out for a meal and dress up for each other and wear sexy undies underneath . If you want to to get him hot under the collor , then at some stage visit the ladies and place you knickers in your clutch/hand bag and return to the table and show him the knickers in your bag. You could also perhaps play footsie under the table as well. We got another lady hot under the collar doing that at an adjacent table . I am guessing it was spot of jealousy as her OH got no reaction! There is nothing to stop you teasing him as well when you get back as well perhaps slowly undress for him and mastuerbate in front of him as you used to .

    I think all you need is just thatl ittle spark reingniting again and then you'll be fine. its something many of us go through when we have kids.

    1491915933
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 598
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    We used to have the same problem. Buy him and yourself some lingerie. Leave his out wherever he gets ready for bed, slip yours on after a shower, keep it hidden and let him explore the treat upstairs 😉

    Good luck with whatever you choose 😜 X

    1491928071
    Devoted Husband [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 82
    • Joined: 8 Jul 2016

    Maybe try some position card games

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34145

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31562

    Play a simple game of 21. Winner of the most hands get to choose a selection of positions from their winning stack.

    Or you could look at introducing some new toys, some gentle bondage, glass dildos and hot and cold temperature play. Write down some fantasies of what you would like your partner to do to you and text it to them in small sections at a time. This will help build up the excitement of the fantasy.
    The secret here is to introduce something new which will help change from being in the rut. The options are endless it just needs some ideas to start it off.

    Hope this gives some ideas on how to look at changing things for the better.

    1491932331
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1757
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Why don't you suggest that you both masturbate for each other; just come out and say it. " Do you remember when I used to masturbate for you" It's something you used to do, and he liked it, so I can't see that there would be any problem. He may even be wishing you still did that for him, but doesn't want to ask you either.

    if you have a bedstead with a footboard you can put a pillow at each end of the bed and watch each other masturbate at the same time. Or find some way to do that; then go in for something like a massage. Getting to have his hands all over you is sure to get him going again; or lots of mutual kissing and touching. Whatever gets him steamed up, unless he's a one shot kind of guy. If he can get it up again, his second erection will last much longer.

    If you want a longer session but not as long as the above may turn out to be; do the mutual masturbation thing, a night or 2 before. And tell him he better keep his strength up for the weekend or when ever, as you will be in the mood for a longer session then.

    1492232123
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    SparklyGem wrote:

    I'm married with kids and our sex life's gone off the boil a bit. We do have it but it's generally a bit of kissing, touching/ sucking and a quickie either me on top or him on top. It's not bad and we both usually cum but I just want to spice things up a bit. Because it's not that frequent either he tends to cum pretty quickly and I don't think he wanks much so I want to encourage him to do it more to try and last a bit longer.

    When we first got together he used to like watching me masturbate with a vibrator but I haven't done that in front of him for years and I wouldn't know how to introduce it again without him thinking that he's not enough for me.

    Neither of us are prudes but we're not really ones for dirty talk or anything kinky, it's always just been standard *you get me off, I'll get you off* kind of sex and I just don't know where to start.

    Any advice would be much appreciated ;)

    Go back to basics! Tell him how you feel about him and ask if he misses how it was at the beginning! Before you guys were married and had kids. Tell him that you do, and how you think about it. Chat about what or where it changed for you both. You sound like you're both still into each other, so it's not an attraction problem. Ask how you can get that spark back.

    Too many couples fall into a routine and take each other for granted, it just happens! Talk about what gets you both hot fot each other and actually take each other in... have a good look at each other and appreciate what you both love about each other.

    Remind him how your not just mum and dad or husband and wife, but 2 people that fell in love and chose each other to be a partnership, create a life, future and family together. Which you've succeeded in doing. Now it's time to go back to thinking more about what you guys need to fulfill each other!

    Best of luck... you've got this x

    1496481157
    MrGoodGuy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 2 Jun 2017

    I think many couples experience this at some point. Not easy with the demands of life impacting down on you. And it's hard getting out of a rut.

    As other posts say, start with a date night, taking time out from everything, time for both of you.

    You can spice those date nights up too. Go out without knickers and a skirt/dress with a length that suits you - imagine his suprise as you whisper in his ear, or open your legs in a private location?

    Stop in a secluded spot on the way home, and make-out in the car - like you are teenagers again. Obviously up to you how far you go?

    Play truth or dare, and write your own cards, make it part of the build up. Give him several blank pieces of paper marked truth or dare on the other side. Let him fill them in during the day. This will get both your minds engaged in sex throught the day, as you brainstorm for ideas.

    This could also be used to reintroduce your vibrator question; as it could be a dare!

    If you are both a litlle apprehensive, throw some dares in that involve a sip of alcohol or something that relaxes you, just to lighten the mood.

    Squirty cream, love outdoors, toys, food, just use your imagination.

    1496486541
    Lone Ranger [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 202
    • Joined: 12 Mar 2016

    we've all been there, stresses of life etc. what works for us is nights away. Air bnb/ travelodge/ caravan what ever, drink wine, have fun etc. We found they were a good pressure valve for pent up sexual frustration. Lingerie, toys, or just good hard sex. I buy her stuff, she buys me stuff specifically for the night away. good luck, you'll work it out, you are probablly both feeling the same way truth be told.

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