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  1. Preparing for Anal

    1491716666
    Thedonn [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2017

    Looking for some advice. My OH and myself are looking to have our first full anal experience and are looking for advice on how to prepare. We've used butt plugs which has been able to push back out and also invested in Anal Lube. Can you guys help.

    1491729687
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1727
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    It would be helpful to know a bit more about what you have done; such as the size of butt plug so I know if you will need to do more relaxing of the anus. Which one of you is going to be receiving, or is it both; so will it be your penis in your OH, or a strapon, or other toy use, in you. If it's for you, you can start with smaller dildos, and work up to something bigger.

    If it's you penetrating your OH she will have to be able to take you, so she will likley need to work up to your penis, so it doesn't hurt her. You can start by getting whom ever is to be penetrated turned on and relaxed.

    I will go through things for you giving to you OH. I don't know if you douche to clean the anus, https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-anal-sex/anal-douches/ You say you have got some anal lube, depending on what you are doing the best lube can vary, but be aware that many toys need to be used with a water based anal lube, to avoid damagong the toy. But if you are doing it with a bare penis, one of the oil or silicone based ones will last longer, if you will be using a condom, you will need to have oil safe condoms, ( the non latex ones).

    What ever you use use plenty; I would get an applicator to put lube directly into her anus, https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/search/?q=lube+applicators If you are going bare, don't forget that you will need to do some serious cleaning of your penis, before you go near you OH's vagina; but she will let you know what she is comfortable with as regards you going bare or not.

    Women often find it more comfortable to have had an orgasm first, it helps to relax things. Sart by relaxing her anus with a little massage, progressing to finger penatration, start with one finger then as she relaxes move up to 2 the 3. Or use varying sizes of dildo; until she is nicely dilated, and ready for your penis. Penetrate her slowly, tell her to let you know if she feels any discomfort "at all"; if she does withdraw and wait until she feels the discomfort subside. if she tries to tough it out thinking the discomfort will go away once you are fully in her, her anus could go into spasm, and may stay that way until you withdraw; it's not a good idea to do this.

    By you withdrawing straight away the anus will relax, and when you go back in it will have learned to respond by relaxing the next time. It may take it several times to get it to relax fully, each time you will find you can get in a bit deeper; until you are fully in.

    I would use long slow full withdrawl strokes once she has taken you, the outer anus is the most sensitive, so re-penatrating her at each thrust will give her lots of pleasure, and help teach her anus to relax when it feel your penis push into it. Once you are into it you can experiment with thrust techniques to see if there is anything that she likes. She may even like the idea of you using dildos on her, or even a strapon, to give her a variety of different sensations.

    Try different possitions too, it may even be to start with that she may feel more in control if she is on top, so she can control pressure against her anus, and how deep and how quickly she feels is best to get you in her with the lesat discomfort. Once you are into it, I would try to do it on a regular basis to keep her anus " trained" so to speak; or if she prefers she could play on her own when she feels to keep things relaxed, until she feel she wants to have you in her again.

    The most comfortable positions are spoons, and froggy ( her face down, legs open or closed), doggy will let you have easier, and more acurate control of your initial penetration.

    Let her lead in this, if you love it and shes not sure and you keep asking for it you may put her off. The better it is for her, and the more control she feels she has, the more she is likely to want it.

    You can always come back if you want more info, but say more so posters can know better what you are wanting to know. Have fun you 2, and enjoy.

    1491735430
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 873
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    'Froggy' style! I've never heard that term before, I love it! 🐸

    1491737048
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1727
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    If you have ever seen frogs at it in a pond you will know why that position is called froggy

    1491753457
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 873
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    Alicia4Ever I've never seen frogs have sex! Lol - might have to you tube it 😂😂

    1491754522
    chisel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 470
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2015

    I think the key is just relax then relax more, plenty of lube and take your time. It will come if you want it but if you feel a bit scary then don't there will be a time when all goes well and then you will wonder why you took so long to do it. Good luck.

    1491756971
    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 472
    • Joined: 20 Jun 2014

    I use a douche an hour or so before hand, a plug or some toys that are a reasonable size (build up if needed) then just get going. Relaxing is the best thing to do.

    I've found that trying to use a plug that's too big (https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30702 <- this one for me and my friend with benefits) and stopping when it gets too much is good prep because anything smaller will seem easier.

    1491919631
    Thedonn [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2017

    Thanks for the replies so far. Alicia to answer some our your questions so far we have used a medium butt plug and I've managed to insert 2 fingers into my wife. I would love it if she would peg me as it's something I tried a long time ago during solo play but not sure how to approach that with her. The Lube we have is the Lovehoney anal lube and it certainly worked when used with my fingers and the butt plug but not sure if either are good preparation for full anal. It would be our idea to finish with anal sex after we have had some fun and are both totally relaxed

    1491946971
    Goodvibrationz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 392
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2017

    chisel wrote:

    I think the key is just relax then relax more, plenty of lube and take your time. It will come if you want it but if you feel a bit scary then don't there will be a time when all goes well and then you will wonder why you took so long to do it. Good luck.

    Agreed, we start off with a well lubricated finger or two and then progress to a combination of 7inch vibrator to the rear, a rabbit plus oral. Rarely fails to work but takes a while to work up to it. OH

    1491948728
    Cal_cal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2014

    Wow thanks for the detailed post. Sure it'll be useful to others in addition to the OP - i'll certainly try to take it on board when my OH and I begin experimenting with anal.

    1491952902
    Highlander74 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2016

    I know it has been said but take it slowly. Last thing you want if for it to be painful / uncomfortable for either of you to the point where it's never done again. Personally I like to lay my OH on her front and sit astride her buttocks and give her a sensual massage which builds up to kissing her up and down her spine a few times. I then move down and start to rim her. I know she loves that and I find that getting a good tongue in there loosens it all up and you can then lube up your choice of fingers/toys/penis and away you go.
    My next objective is to approach the subject of pegging..

    1491953768
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1727
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Thedonn wrote:

    Thanks for the replies so far. Alicia to answer some our your questions so far we have used a medium butt plug and I've managed to insert 2 fingers into my wife. I would love it if she would peg me as it's something I tried a long time ago during solo play but not sure how to approach that with her. The Lube we have is the Lovehoney anal lube and it certainly worked when used with my fingers and the butt plug but not sure if either are good preparation for full anal. It would be our idea to finish with anal sex after we have had some fun and are both totally relaxed

    The LH discover anal lube is fine. Just try my suggestions, and work her up to it slowly. The more you get her used to anal penetration the easier it will be to do full anal with your penis. I think you would be better going further than 2 fingers, and a medium butt plug before taking her yourself. Go up to at least 3 fingers and I find a glass dildo a go toy to open up with , as they are so slippery when lubed up.

    I use this one, https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30947 it's 5 inch at the circumference at the tip but narrows quickly onto the shaft. So it's best to keep putting it in and pulling it out to get accustomed to the maximum girth. But because it narrows it makes it easier to get on with.

    As for the idea of pegging, the next time you have your fingers in her ass, just say I kind of wonder what this feels like for you, and would like to try if you were up for doing this for me. Then you can go on to suggest pegging. Many women would jump at the chance to turn the tables on their OH, but not all. I don't see anything wrong in voicing your desire to try this, theres is nothing wrong with it, lots of guys love to have it done to them. Some guys do think it would mean they had gay tendencies if they tried it, but thats bull, as it's a woman thats doing it to them, not another guy. I recon it's more likely for a woman to get refused for asking their OH if they can play with his butt, than for her to refuse to do it for her OH.

    I do think some guys can also feel that if they mention it to their Oh, that she will suspect that he's gay; but I don't think thats true. But from my point of view what would that matter anyway, but I do know having a bi OH is something that some women don't like the idea of. A guy will cheat if he's the cheating kind, his sexuallity has nothing to do with that. Sorry it's one of my pet rants.

    I think the thing that puts women off is, that they don't want to dominate their man, particularlly in that way. it's a sort of " women get penetrated not men" like it would make them see their man as less masculine, for wanting it. I think women who like to feel more submisive towards their man, are more likely to feel this way. if she is into anal for herself, it's not likely to be an objection to the act of anal sex it's self.

    Go for it, take it slow, and have fun both of you.

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