• Ditch one-minute wonder?

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    Gerby [sign in to see picture]
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    On behalf of a friend:

    How patient would you be if your BF struggles getting it up, and when he does manage it, he can only last about a minute? He won't see a doctor and thinks it will improve all by itself!

    He's a lovely person but just hopeless in bed. Is it worth trying to do something to help him get better (what?) or just go seperate ways.

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I would give it some time. Is the guy experienced? He could be experiencing nerves or performance anxiety. I would personally try to reassure him as best as possible that it's ok and try to avoid making him feel bad about the time that he lasts (or doesn't.)

    There's plenty of other things that can be done in the meantime, delay sprays/creams, extended foreplay, use of sex toys etc. It doesn't all have to be about penetration from his penis. It can be worked up to once he's figured out the cause of his problem. I'd suggest showing him these forums as there are lots of posts about people who struggle with this sort of thing along with reassurance that it's completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. He does need to see his doctor at some point though as although there's a possibility of it sorting itself out, it's not definite.

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    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    It completely depends on if they have a good relationship other than the sex. If your friend really cares for this person and they have a good emotional connection and they really enjoy spending time together, I think the sexual problems are worth working on. However of your friend isn't that overjoyed with many aspects of the relationship maybe its worth ending it.

    If your friend does want to stay with him, I'd suggest buying a male masturbater like this one: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34068 and asking him to train / practice a lot in private so he can yet used to controlling when he will ejaculate. Premature ejaculation is a very common problem, espeically in younger men, but it can often be overcome with practice and experience.

    Also, I would recommend focusing on foreplay to make sure your friend has an enjoyable time before they try penetrative sex. Hope this is helpful x

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    If penetrative sex is the single most important thing in your relationship, then it's probably doomed anyway, so yeah go separate ways. Otherwise, there is so much more to explore - just spend some time looking around the internet (starting here) and you'll get plenty of ideas

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the title of this thread is rude. We don't know his age, how experienced he is, how long they have been together and so on, therefore it's hard to pin point why he has these problems.

    Like Nat said, he could have a hard time getting it up because he's nervous and adding to this having previous problems with getting it up could make it even more stressful. If he's older he could have problems with ED. Him climaxing early could be caused by sexual inexperience and so on.

    In my opinion, sex can always improve if both partiets have a good talk and have respect for eachother. There are many aids out there too, like delay sprays and cock rings. It's also possible for him to get a fleshlight and to work on his stamina.

    I just don't like the mentality that if something doesn't work, then throw it away. Things like this can always be improved if both partiets communicate. I hope most people go into relationships hoping that it will last forever and not wanting to break up as soon as something isn't perfect.

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    andytaylor98 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would say that maybe he needs to be encouraged to explore the world of foreplay. My OH and I have a great sex life and 50% of the time there is no penetrative sex. Maybe if he gives and see's his partner getting all excited and climaxing then that might excite him as well.

    The important thing is communication. Both parties need to talk about it open and honestly and not be afraid of hurting the other party.

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    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    Sum Sub wrote:

    If penetrative sex is the single most important thing in your relationship, then it's probably doomed anyway, so yeah go separate ways.

    Agreed

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    SquirtyPanda wrote:

    Sum Sub wrote:

    If penetrative sex is the single most important thing in your relationship, then it's probably doomed anyway, so yeah go separate ways.

    Agreed

    +2

    So much more to a relationship, and so many more sexual delights to discover too.

    Xx

    1491762574
    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Gerby. I know how you feel because I've been through a similar situation myself. It's quite frustrating isn't it?

    In my case, I've decidesd to stay with the guy because first of all he was a lovely person and there was a lot of sexual chemistry between us. We did spend a lot of time enjoying foreplay and playing sexual games. I can honestly say that I reached the climax loads of time before we actually had sex. Once he was inside of me, that was it: he came very quickly and I couldn't feel a thing.

    We never talked about it and now looking back I reckon deep inside he knew he had this problem and so he alwsays made sure that he had a long time for foreplay and all these things that make all the difference when you're having sex with someone.

    I hope you stick around and together find ways to overcome this situation. Best of luck.

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    Funlover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds as though this relationship is in its very early stages which may be why there is a lack of understanding or empathy.If the ball was on the other foot I'm sure the partner without any sexual drawbacks would like to think they might be given a chance and not just be told go to the doctor or else we are done.!!!
    It may just take a little time for the partner to pluck up the courage to face the doctor to discuss what to him must feel very embarrassing.I think sex therapy might be a better option to help both partners establish a healthier sexual relationship.Of course this would only help if there is a meaningful relationship there to begin with and in this case I do have my doubts but with such limited information it is hard to be more helpful.I wish your friend well and hope some resolution can be worked out.

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    SquirtyPanda wrote:

    Sum Sub wrote:

    If penetrative sex is the single most important thing in your relationship, then it's probably doomed anyway, so yeah go separate ways.

    Agreed

    +2

    So much more to a relationship, and so many more sexual delights to discover too.

    Xx

    +3

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