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  1. I want to be dominated 😅

    Hcone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 23 Jul 2013

    Hi, it's my first time here on the lovehoney community, I'm loving reading all of the tips here!

    My question however is my partner and I have done some 'vanilla' type domination like him restraining me for like a short period of time! And when I give him head I try to encourage him to 'use' me/take complete control!
    But I'm not sure how to broach the subject of having more of a sub/dom type sex life, if you know what I mean 😂😅 I don't really have any limits (or haven't come across anything I don't like) so pretty much open to try anything!

    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2695
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Maybe have a look at the YouTube channel Jess presents and talk about the different areas within these videos. 

    Or another thing i see mentioned a lot in the forum is list writing. If you both write a list of things you want to try and swap so you can have a conversation about what comes next 

    Good Luck & I am sure others have more insigth in this for you too 

    lewisandkimberly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 24 Feb 2013

    Suprise him with something new like

    Try strapping yourself to the bed before he gets home, I'm shore he will get the message


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Communication is the key here, being frank open and honest with your lover is so so important.

    Sitting down in a non sexual environment and talking about your sex life will stop al! The time spent hoping he or she will read your crystal ball and miraculously work out what you want.

    Now I know this is not that easy but it will be so beneficial if you can.

    I'm a switch with Dom tendencies , however I love roll play and being dominant is something I love giving to someone who wants it and gets off from it but it not who iam. Also occasionally I like to be dominated in return.

    doheryourway [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 18 Mar 2017

    In my opinion, in heterosexual relationships male has to dominate over female. Of course, sometimes male can play the submissive role just for fun, but, if being submissive to a woman is male’s main sexual stimulus, then something went wrong in his psycho-emotional development.

    In our society most males don’t know how to dominate over females…..because it is not the Stone Age anymore when everything was done just by the physical strength….…now, to dominate over educated, intellectual women, who has high self-esteem, you have to combine several aspects - intellect, emotions and physical strength……besides, in right proportions…....but most men don’t know how to do it…….it seems very complicated or even impossible to them……...therefore ………..they choose the most easiest and the most boring path…… be submissive……to women………….and it doesn’t mean women dressed in leather or latex…….…it means that most men nowadays are brainwashed to put women’s pleasure higher than their own…………….which contradicts with Mother Nature and results in fake orgasms; women, who can’t relax during sex and bulls**t stereotypes that women need longer time to get aroused than men…….

    Most women in sex don't get aroused from man, who makes various sacrifices towards her (including trying to desperately give her orgasm). Instead, women are aroused by the actions of a man, who is confident, who openly shows his admiration about woman and does things, what HE wants.

    The main advantage of this approach is that there is no pressure on woman. In this case woman can relax, and concentrate on her own feelings, because she sees that man is enjoying himself and gets pleasure from her. And the mind of woman is clear from such disturbing thoughts as - “am I good enough”, “do I look sexy enough” etc.

    If a man is consciously and desperately trying to give her orgasm, she will notice his efforts and start to pressure herself, which will only make her more stressful and tense……. making her unable to reach orgasm, no matter what the man will be doing to her….

    Paul Mycock [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 42
    • Joined: 8 Dec 2014

    First up you need to let your partner know what you want to try.

    Be careful how you suggest this. There's always the chance you might come across as being unhappy with your sex life.

    Why not get a book like SM101 or Fifty Shades Of Grey or watch the film together? Then while it was on say that it looks like fun, then see the reaction?

    Maybe watch some porn together along those lines?

    Here's a few tips. When you get into it, why not get a collar? When your collar is on, playtime starts, when collar is off playtime is over and back to your normal relationship.

    If you don't feel happy talking face to face with exactly what you want you could try texting, again though be careful it doesn't come across as criticism of your current relationship.

    Note, both partners should always be happy with any sexual activity. I’m going to hope he will be up for it.

    The tricky thing is that in a way it’s the submissive who actually calls the shots. What you do is actually to the submissive limits and parameters.

    With my girly it typically goes like this.

    Blindfolds occasionally. If you deny a person their sight, their other senses are enhanced.

    Spreader bars, handcuffs, rope etc can all deny a person movement. My girly gets frustrated if she can’t touch me or hold me as she wants so will sometimes struggle or slip from her bonds. Velcro sometimes isn’t strong enough.

    If you are using rope etc, get a pair of paramedic scissors. Google it. They are great in that if you need to you can cut them free quick.

    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 405
    • Joined: 30 Dec 2016

    I found adding what you want to do to him, and want done to you into dirty talk while having a bit of fun and see how he reacts. Gradually add the more kinkier thinks you want to try into the dirty talk. Currrently trying this with my bf and easy to tell what they might be happy to try/open to, want to do and won't want to do.

    Or just show him the bondage and toys on love honey you are 'causually' looking at ;) and see what he thinks.

    I also find if you want to be more dominate try blindfolding him...makes you feel really in control. If you want to be more submissive could always intice him using reverse physciology (sorry for the spelling)? For example; "You're not stronger enough to pin me pin me down without me exscaping" but maybe a bit kinkier and sexier than that wording.

    If you could across anything that really works please share :) Would love to try it out myself :) x


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Under bed restraining kit is great , I love to purtmy victim face down with two pillows under her hips so fully exposed.

    I like the restrains used on me because I'm a big strong guy so need restraining well. Especially when I've been bad, nuaghty or dirty or all three.

    Another simple favorite is my subject on her back and wrists tied or taped to the outside of her knees. As she gets tired the weight of her arms opens her thighs.

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