• New girlfriend and I need to tell her how kinky I am.

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    Randy101 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been with my new girlfriend for just over a week now.

    So far we appear to be getting on very well. We have told each other very personal things.

    We have slept together a few times.

    I have lots of kinks and have been alone most of my life.

    Now I really want to share my kinks with her.

    I confused to her that I liked rough nipple play and she was more than happy with that (and very good at it).

    I think she has an idea that I am a lot more kinky than I admit to,

    She has briefly mentioned 50 shades and I teased her about ice cubes can be used for other things than drinks.

    I want to tell here next week about my kinks, but do not want to scare her off.

    Do I tell her all in one go or just confess to one at a time?

    1489229796
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    It's up to you. Perhaps you could start with one and see how she reacts rather than giving her a thorough run down?

    The most important thing is to make sure she feels comfortable and not pressured in any way. Have the conversation in an relaxed environment outside of the bedroom. Also, as you are telling her what you like in bed make sure you make it clear you would never pressure her into doing any of these acts if she wasn't comfortable with them. Another good idea is to ask her if there's anything she particularly likes in bed, or if she has any sexual fantasies that you can enjoy together. By doing this you are showing her that her sexual needs are just as important as yours and that you want to have great sex that is forfilling for both of you.

    If you talk about it in a way that she doesn't feel any pressure at all to do any of your desired sex acts / kinks she is unlikely to run for the hills. If she doesn't think she'd enjoy them she will hopefully just tell you that rather than being scared off.

    Good luck

    1489230601
    Randy101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Jezebella wrote:

    It's up to you. Perhaps you could start with one and see how she reacts rather than giving her a thorough run down?

    The most important thing is to make sure she feels comfortable and not pressured in any way. Have the conversation in an relaxed environment outside of the bedroom. Also, as you are telling her what you like in bed make sure you make it clear you would never pressure her into doing any of these acts if she wasn't comfortable with them. Another good idea is to ask her if there's anything she particularly likes in bed, or if she has any sexual fantasies that you can enjoy together. By doing this you are showing her that her sexual needs are just as important as yours and that you want to have great sex that is forfilling for both of you.

    If you talk about it in a way that she doesn't feel any pressure at all to do any of your desired sex acts / kinks she is unlikely to run for the hills. If she doesn't think she'd enjoy them she will hopefully just tell you that rather than being scared off.

    Good luck

    I have always tried to make sure she gets satisfied 1st.

    She has told me a few things she likes and that part is working great.

    When I do talk about this I will make it very clear that I do not expect her to do anything that she is not happy with.

    I was thinking about trying to build things up slowly from the less kinky to the most.

    So far she has lead the way.

    1489230772
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like you have a good plan already 🙂

    Go for it, if she's told you things she likes already she probably won't be surprised at all to hear your kinks.

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    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been thinking for a while that there is a market for a bit of software to help with this all too common problem (guys being reluctant to confess to their OH they want to be pegged is a common one). It seems to me that if you could both enter into an app the things you were interested in trying from a fairly definitive list (which could in itself be quite an erotic task) and have the app reveal only those which you both ticked while keeping the rest confidential it could save years of nail-biting frustration.

    The data security would need to be good!

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sure someone on ano5hwr thread spoke about an app like this

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you've already got the right plan there mate. Hopefully having us agree will give you the confidence to follow your own gut instinct. Sounds like you have a good basis already. Good luck

    1489232678
    Randy101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the advice.

    I don't expect her to be all of my kinks, if any.

    Even if she watched me do some of them it would be a huge trun on.

    Who knows, if she watches then next time she may want to join in

    1489233363
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm probably on the other side of the fence.
    If you've only been together a week, do you need to tell her all your kinks now? Either way, I would do it when it feels natural to do so, not so premeditated.
    Sounds like you've had some great responses to what you've shared with her so far though.

    1489233915
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I have been thinking for a while that there is a market for a bit of software to help with this all too common problem (guys being reluctant to confess to their OH they want to be pegged is a common one). It seems to me that if you could both enter into an app the things you were interested in trying from a fairly definitive list (which could in itself be quite an erotic task) and have the app reveal only those which you both ticked while keeping the rest confidential it could save years of nail-biting frustration.

    The data security would need to be good!

    This already exists, of sort, its called Mojo upgrade. Its an online questionnaire that you both answer individually then it shares only the acts you both said yes to.
    1489234058
    Randy101 [sign in to see picture]
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    NaughtyNerd wrote:

    I'm probably on the other side of the fence.
    If you've only been together a week, do you need to tell her all your kinks now? Either way, I would do it when it feels natural to do so, not so premeditated.
    Sounds like you've had some great responses to what you've shared with her so far though.

    We had been flirting for days and both felt we had to meet and take it further.

    We both said what ever happens happens with no pressure, but to be honest the messages sent made it clear we knew it would.

    We keep on sharing things and feeling embarrassed, only to be reassured by each other.

    I agree is is still very early days, but I feel we are building up a rapport.

    1489238525
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    I would keep going as you are then Randy. If I were her id quite like it coming out bit by bit.

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds as if you doing it perfectly slowly and no pressure all the best.

    1489318641
    Randy101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Last night we talked about Non Vanilla kinky things.

    We took it in turns and found that both of us were unshockable, so far!

    This morning she called me Mr Grey, so that must be a good sign .

    Maybe in a few days I would have told her everything.

    1489333704
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Randy101 wrote:

    Last night we talked about Non Vanilla kinky things.

    We took it in turns and found that both of us were unshockable, so far!

    This morning she called me Mr Grey, so that must be a good sign .

    Maybe in a few days I would have told her everything.

    You are so lucky, well done oh get a grey tie too.

    1489336644
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad it all went well last night and like kitten cub said don't forget the tie.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28047

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    [suspended user]

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    I would always recommend getting good communication about going as soon as possible. However not everything in one go . start with the softer kinks over a few weeks then observe her reaction. Then slowly introduce the more minority harder stuff when you feel she open to it.

    Be prepared for her to be vanilla but so long as she is open to it then you should be OK.

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