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  1. I can't Orgasm and never have :(

    1488618053
    Z0E [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 29 Aug 2016

    Hi Guys

    I see everyone talking about their orgasms and experiences but I have NEVER had an orgasm and I really envy you. Although, sex with my boyfriend feels great, I want to orgasm. And yes, I'm sure I have never had an orgasm, solo or with my boyfriend.

    I have tried clitoral stimulation using my hands and toys that vibrate (bullet, etc), still nothing. I get close sometimes and then lose it (the feeling).

    I have tried oral sex, still nothing. It feel amazing and I'm very sensitive to it but it doesn't make me cum, no matter how long we go on for.

    I have tried G-Spot stimulating toys (Greedy Girl G Spot Rabbit, a variety of vibrations intensities and patterns, still nothing. I feel like they don't work for me but my boyfriends fingers do, they feel great but they're not enough.

    I have tried having sex with my boyfriend in many positions, still nothing. The only time I get close is when I'm laying on my back and he's on his knees angling upwards, he goes on for ages like that and I get close but he has to stop because it's tiring going on for so long.

    I really want to Orgasm.

    Does/Did anyone else have this problem?

    How did you overcome it?

    Can someone please give me tips on what I can do to orgasm?

    PLEASE HELP

    Thank You x

    1488627626
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1342
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    Honestly, I think you maybe trying too hard.

    Need to focus less and let go - easier said than done, but once there I don't think you'll be looking back...

    Welcome to LH

    1488630823
    elo01 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 3 Feb 2016

    I had much troubles to orgasm before ...I was really focused on it and it's true that it's just makes it not happen.
    You need to let go as tiger said

    The more you let go the more you will get close to get it or even orgasm....trust me I was almost like you and now I have multiple ones just because I just learn to let go and enjoy

    It's about sensations but your brain plays a HUGE role in that and if you're stressed about it or even just focused it won't work
    Try instead to focus on the sensations enjoy every pleasurable one and you'll see it'll get better trust me!

    1488632763
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3324
    • Joined: 6 Aug 2014

    I was the same. So very close then nothing - the feelings just seemed to suddenly stop and disappear altogether like a switch was flicked everytime for years.

    What worked was forgetting about the end goal of having an orgasm, relaxing and just enjoying the moment and as I got towards to the "Oh! This feels really good stage" thinking of a really sexy past scenario or imagining the sensation of a new one ultimately sent me over the edge.

    I also find concentrating on my breathing works too. Deep breath in and long slow deep breath out gets the blood plumping to all the right areas as I had a habit of always holding my breath just as I got close.

    Good luck. Have fun x

    1488635470
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 511
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    Yep, I completely agree with the advice you've been given. I used to really struggle to orgasm too, and even now I find if I start to think about orgasming the build up goes away. Frustrating to say the least. A much better thing to focus on (for me at least) is a memory of something that really turned me on, something that when you think about it it really makes you wet. Thinking sexy thoughts can take you out of your own head and the pressure you are putting on yourself to come.

    Hope this is helpful, just relax and enjoy self.

    1488636268
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3324
    • Joined: 6 Aug 2014

    You could try having a play while reading or listening to an erotic novel too.

    Personally I find that I can get really turned on reading and imagining things I would never be able to actually cope with in real life but as a fantasy in my own head - wow! it works!!! You could also try an orgasm gel or balm to make yourself a bit more sensitive but please check it's safe to use with condoms if needed.

    1488637677
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1690
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2015

    Hello

    have you tried watching porn before hand? there are many categories that specifiy what youre particularly into. i recommend watching some before playing to really turn you on, with your partner it can be kinky fun too. it will be mentally stimulating you in the right way (terms of hornyness)

    perhaps try some new toys and the beauty with lovehoney is if they dont work out you can get a refund upto 1 year.

    how about trying some powerful toys? wands and wand attachments etc. perhaps youre not achieving orgasms because they arent powerful enough for you.

    🐼

    1488640212

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3304
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2015

    Agree with everyone else. I couldnt orgasm for a very long time, thot perhaps it'd never happen for me because I didn't even get close. Then I met hubby started getting close but mindblock kicked in. The minds a powerful tool and if you're thinking "i need to cum "i wanna cum" its no gonna happen.

    Take the focus off the orgasm for now. You're getting close so I'd say it'll happen if you stop willing it, if you get me.

    All the best and have fun, orgasms arent the b all and end all anyway. Sex can still be incredible without them 👍😙💗xx

    1488640866
    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1083
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2016

    I'm glad I've stumbled on this thread. I have always experienced great organisation with my husband. First man who has made me orgasm purely through penetrative sex. But recently where we've had so much sex and so regularly recently that it seems to escape me these days. I have been reading the replies and I admit I do have a tendency to start chasing the orgasm. Sometimes I'm so close I'm so sure I will but I never reach climax even if the feelings don't go away however I become fixated. Now I just need to work out a way of stopping myself thinking about it...

    I hope some of these tips help you too Zoe :)

    1488648260
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1809
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2016

    What bullet vibrator did you try? Maybe trying a stronger vibrator (if that's something you can be into) would work. And from what you said when you have sex withy our OH, maybe a G-spot dildo would help too.

    Try using both at the same time, and as other have said, focus on the experience rather than on on the orgasm itself. See amsturbation time as time to discover and experiment with yourself, in order to learn what feels good for you. The more you experiment, the closer you'll get to an orgasm because the more you'll be aware of what works and doesn't works for you. So see it as "I am doing this to get closer to having an orgasm one day" rather than "this is the one, I'm having an orgasm today". You can experiment like that with your OH too, if he wants too, but I really recommend masturbating alone too, as this is the best way to learn your own body.

    In regards to toy suggestions, here's what I can suggest:

    vibrators:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36366

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30320 (it's so many people's favourite, and I can confirm it is awesome)

    a wand (this is very powerful and may be too much for some people) like this one https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28657 or this one https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36881 There are also smaller models such as https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29578

    As for a G-spot dildo, here are some ideas:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17187 (I love this set)

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22769

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32877

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30941 (last two are 2 for £30!)

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9030 (expensive but it is the holy grail of g-spot toys)

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