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  1. Talking about S.E.X.

    1488540618
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    Hi all. I'm new here and, as you can see from 'about me', I'm not that long married and looking to spice up our sex life before we're stuck in the missionary position the rest of our lifes! My husband is not outgoing at all when it comes to sex so it's down to me to try and add some spice. He always loves it when I do anything sexy (I've bought some nice underwear, introduced some toys and am planning a sexy strip tease this weekend while we're away in a hotel - I've even upgraded us to a suite for some added luxury!) but it's always me that puts the effort in to turn it up a notch. How can I get him to tell me what HE would like? When I ask him, he just replies that whatever makes me happy, makes him happy and it's soooooo frustrating! So, how can I get him to talk about sex?

    1488540842
    Lorah13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 603
    • Joined: 8 Jun 2013

    Hi welcome to the forum. You could maybe try taking a sex quiz, both of you fill it in then exchange answers?

    1488540893
    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 821
    • Joined: 29 Jun 2012

    I find a few drinks and a browse on the lovehoney site together gets hubby to open up a little...

    Or when hes working away and we message, always easier when not face to face or with a drink down us 😂

    1488540902
    bigjohn1976 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 2 Mar 2017

    Hi there and welcome

    1488541090
    bigjohn1976 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 2 Mar 2017

    I just come out with it to my wife she dosent have to drop hints

    1488541979
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    Oooooh, I hadn't thought of a quiz. That's a good idea as it won't feel like I'm interrogating him. Off to google....

    1488542247
    G123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2014

    My wife won't really talk about sex face to face. But when we message she will tell me more about what she likes and dislikes

    1488542250
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    My husband doesn't drink but a browse on the site together might be a good shout - I'll just need to stay away from anything too kinky or he'll have a heart attack! 😃 It might be better to do it together coz at the mo, I'm the one who picks everything so involving him might make him more forthcoming with what he likes. I might start off slowly (which underwear do you like better?) and take it from there.

    1488542555
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    G123, I've tried messaging before but not had much success. It's almost like he can't put into words (written or spoken) what he likes. I've suggested he show me but he ended up so embarrassed, I had to drop the subject. I'm now starting to think either he is so straightlaced or he has some kink I don't know about and he's too scared to tell me!

    1488542933
    G123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2014

    Looking ok site together is a very good idea Ashley. You do need to be able to talk about what you want and try things together. You might have a very kinky side you need to explore.

    1488543292
    bigjohn1976 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 2 Mar 2017

    my wife and i look at the forum and go to sex shops together

    1488543558
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    Yeah, I have a much more 'free' solo sex life - I watch porn (nothing too hardcore but I like female friendly stuff, like Anna Span), I like some light bondage (not so easy on your own!) and experiment with anal/dp etc, NONE of which is included in our love life although he did try to spank me once (which I was very much up for) but he wasn't entirely comfortable with it. I think baby steps are required!

    1488543686
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    I tried to take him into a sex shop with me but he wouldn't come in. Even Boots sells vibrators now so I'll maybe direct him to that aisle for a start!

    1488543824
    G123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2014

    Have you told him what you like to? Or there is a game Nookii. Down load the app and you both choose things from the list and any matches you set up events. I was surprised with some off the matches my wife came back with when we done this

    1488544026
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7158
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Another idea is to watch some Erotic films together and then you can ask whilst watching "Can we try someything like that ? "

    Your strip tease is a very good idea by the way but make it as long as you can . If you can without showing wear 2 pairs of undies to prolong the wait.

    1488544513
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    Yeah, he knows (he's also had a rake through my toy box on his own - I knew he had as everything was out of place!) but seems to shy away from a lot unless I take charge. That's fine up to a point as I feel like I'm putting all the effort in while he just reaps the rewards of me being really into whatever we're doing. And that's what he seems to like. Nothing wrong with that but I'd like him to put in as much as I do.

    1488544786
    AshleyOh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2016

    The game sounds a good idea though. I bought the advent calendar thing from here to see what we can get from that, he'll just have to do what it says lol
    I'm all set for my tease - I have heels, stockings, a thong, a pair of knickers, a bra and a chemise to wear under my clothes so I'm in it for the long haul 😃 just need to sort out the tunes and I'm good to go!

    1488545002
    bigjohn1976 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 2 Mar 2017

    hi i think you need to take charge and seduce him if you was wearing that gear for me that would be enough to bring anyone out of there shell

    1488545128
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7158
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    AshleyOh wrote:

    The game sounds a good idea though. I bought the advent calendar thing from here to see what we can get from that, he'll just have to do what it says lol
    I'm all set for my tease - I have heels, stockings, a thong, a pair of knickers, a bra and a chemise to wear under my clothes so I'm in it for the long haul 😃 just need to sort out the tunes and I'm good to go!

    Just wondering whast outerclothes you will be wearing . Seperate skirt and buttoned blouse as opposed to a dress would make it easier . Personally I like the smart secretary/business woman look complete with glasses if you have them .

    1488545139
    G123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2014

    sound like a good night in store

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