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  1. Looking for advise

    12_monkees [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2009

    Hi guys n gals,

    Please bare with me as this might turn into a longish post but I don't feel comfortable discussing this with friends or family!

    Last year as part of the male toy summer bundle I got the Lovehoney Pleasure Probe, which I was pleased with as I'd been very curious about orgasms with the P-Spot.

    I found the toy to be great at first but it never gave me what others have described and I felt it wasn't quite long enough.

    With the offer of 3 bottles of lube for £10 I decided to buy a longer and slightly wider toy to experiment with which is the Flexcite 10 Function Silicone Vibrating Prostate Massager.

    It arrived today and as I'm sure you can guess I wanted to try it asap. So earlier I tried it and found it a bit awkward and a little big and had to abandon it as I just couldn't relax and it was a little painful.

    Now my issue is, I know finding what works for the P-Spot to take time and practise, have a shower before hand to relax yourself but I feel that I can't currently relax. I have a long condition of suffering with anxiety and depression which I'm currently suffering with at the moment. I'm on medication which is Sertraline. These have caused sexual distinction for me, which means I cannot ejaculate so I can't relax and relieve stress in my 'normal' way. I have managed it once in almost 3 weeks but this is from 1-2 hours every night trying to climax. Toys don't seem to help and I figure I won't be able to practise finding my P-Spot in my current condition as I worry every time if I'll actually get to climax or not.

    Can anyone suggest anything? I have discussed it with my dr but she didn't seem too forthcoming and said all anti depressants can have that effect


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2855
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Hi and welcome to the forums.

    Im very sorry to hear of your health issue. Depression and anxiety are horrible for any one but in men especially on medication it can be devastating for erections and sex drive.

    All most by pure accident you've stumbled across a good way to have a very special climax that does not require you to have an erection.

    Once mastered the prostate orgasm is the ultimate male oergasm. However like most good things it takes time and practice.. I'd only recommend you try it once a week. So as not to bruise it.

    I'd also advice you concentrate more up towards your tummy or belly button and not deeper into your rectom. I find a sweeping action across it is what works for me.

    I suggest that you try to get well deal with the depression so you feel better about yourself .

    Good luck and I wish you well

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2155
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Try not to make the focus of your "play" reaching a climax; but more enjoy the sensations, and so let go of the anxieties of try to climax. Try to feel the sensations in your mind, rather than down where they are on your body. I know this sounds a bit Zen, but I find it does work.

    Go back to your old toy for a while, and try to relax with it; maybe look at getting something with a size in between that and your new one, so you can work up to it. obviously the new one is a bit too much of a jump in size for you.

    Your prostate is only 2 to 3 inches in, and towards the front wall of your body, so your don't need as much length to your toy, as you may think. The anal ring it's self is pacack full of nerve endings too; You may find there is more than one way to achieve an anal orgasm. And you will have to explore and find out what works for you. keep trying different technques, and don't dismiss any of them, as if you come back to it latter you can find doing something that didn't work last time, works on another occasion.

    The more different things you try the less likely you are to get stuck in just one way of reaching a climax. And try touching yourself all over, find out where you like to be stimulated. If you have a vibe try trapping it between your legs, against your anus, or trap it behind your knee joint, or nipples. Basically explore yourself, and enjoy the sensations, and use them to learn to relax; toake the pressure of yourself, as I said before and don't focus on the end game, but love the journey for now. You may just find the orgasm comes to you on it's own, when you are ready.

    But do try to take it into your mind, close your eyes, and let yourself feel the sensations travelling up the core of your body, or up your spine, into your head. Draw the energy of those sensations into your mind and and let it build, let it fill your whole body, and be in that moment, with those sensations.

    The mind is what reaches orgasm, not the body. But above all relax.

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