• Where do our kinks and fetish's come from ?

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    Freudian beliefs are that were influenced during our upbringing. Wondered what others feel about how their kinks are founded.

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    But then again so many of Freuds theories were wrong. Here is an interesting text I found :)

    https://www.google.se/amp/io9.gizmodo.com/why-freud-still-matters-when-he-was-wrong-about-almost-1055800815/amp?client=safari

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I do however think that my kinks have developed because I feel a deep bond with my OH and that we have grown together in our likes :)

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    Modo [sign in to see picture]
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    My personal belief is that many of our kinks come from when we hit puberty.

    For instance, if in the good old days when we still used hot water bottles we hit puberty and have all those hormones cursing through our veins whilst holding a large piece of warm smelly rubber.

    Well I will leave you to come to your own conclutions.

    Then there is the school punishment. Hormones plus size 13 plimsol. (In the good old days of course).

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    Modo wrote:

    My personal belief is that many of our kinks come from when we hit puberty.

    For instance, if in the good old days when we still used hot water bottles we hit puberty and have all those hormones cursing through our veins whilst holding a large piece of warm smelly rubber.

    Well I will leave you to come to your own conclutions.

    Then there is the school punishment. Hormones plus size 13 plimsol. (In the good old days of course)

    Lol thanks for your input made me giggle.

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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    I do however think that my kinks have developed because I feel a deep bond with my OH and that we have grown together in our likes :)

    So true to find things with someone you care for is fantastic.

    Also yes some of Freud's theories have been challenged but not all.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    To be totally honest I don't really know!!

    I am not what I would class as 'kinky' really, although I do enjoy some things that I guess some others may not eg. I love anal. It wasn't so much a pre meditated kink, it just kind of happened. Mr LNT is the only partner I have had anything but vanilla sex with - I had very limited experience before we met, and it's only relatively recently that we have started to explore more - I think as Sxlesaker said the trust and bond just makes it feel right - mind you it's taken us 27 years to get there!!!

    Xxx

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    luvved up cupple [sign in to see picture]
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    I think over the last 15-20 years so much more has come into the "mainstream". Sex & The City pretty much introduced a generation (or two or three) of women to the "rabbit" the same as 50 Shades now seems to have bought Bds&m into the open. While we have always had our curiosities & have practiced light "tie n tease" Bondage in the past I doubt we'd have purchased the paddles we own had it not been for E L James.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    My OHs mucky mind I guess

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I take quite a Freudian view but not entirely. I suspect I would always have turned out somewhat submissive and masochistic but I think the details of my kinks come directly from childhood and teenage experiences.

    As a small child I always pushed myself to be the best. I had to get the best marks in school etc but most of my competitiveness was with myself; How many skips could I do? How long could I keep my hand under the hot water tap? How many lengths could I swim? How long could I hold my breath under water? I think this kind of need to push my body and mind is a big part of kink for me.

    I grew up witnessing physical and emotional abuse, as well as experiencing emotional abuse too. Twelve years of being being controlled, of being called names, of being threatened and of being permanently scared for my own and my family's wellbeing has obviously had a huge impact on me. I also had numerous non-consensual experiences, most just touching over clothes but also a rape when I was 16 (my first time).

    I think those experiences shaped the content of my kinks. I like quite brutal rough body play with lots of name calling and degradation. If someone walked in on this they would think abuse not kink. I'm also into consensual non consent and a huge part of that relates to my experiences of rape. I think BDSM can be a form of psychodrama. While I would always recommend working with a therapist to overcome issues, I have personally found kink to be therapeutic. I've also found therapy to be therapeutic and it has actually helped me to gain greater understanding of my sexuality.

    Even if I had a perfect childhood and adolescence, I think I would have found kink. I'm a sensation seeker but not in the skydiving way. I love horror films, the novelty of a one night stand and any kind of mind altering experience. If I don't have this gene variant I would be surprised: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/210277.php I'm not sure I would have actively sought out BDSM but when I met someone with even the slightest interest I am sure I would have been all over it. I suspect it would have been much more standard and less extreme and I'm not sure it would ever have been such an integral part of my sexual identity, but I think it probably would have happened.

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    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    I do however think that my kinks have developed because I feel a deep bond with my OH and that we have grown together in our likes :)

    I fully agree, I never experienced kink on any level before meeting my husband.

    I feel it has been the trus and way I am free to share things I would like to try and the encouragement I get to do this, vice versa for my husband that has enabled us to explore so many amazing new things, kinks and all.

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    Jim Glasgow [sign in to see picture]
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    I see where Freud is coming from, I was introduced to nylon in childhood, my pal showed me a pair of his sisters stockings, we each put one on, not knowing why, they were far too big and covered our genitals.......I now have a fetish for tights. Had this event never taken place I often wonder if I would have this fetish.

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    Lone Ranger [sign in to see picture]
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    Similar to you Jim. When I was a teenager in the 80s, Burtons used to do those nylon briefs in a set of 3, trunks weren't the norm and minimal was definately okay. I think I had a green, black and red pair. For some reason the black pair fitted the best and loved the feeling. To this day still get a buzz out of wearing small black undies. Not sure if that is a true kink, but I have got a drawer full!

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    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    My theory as to my liking for latex is that it is from the association of latex with sex via condoms. I think this partly because I find the smell of latex erotic and not just the appearance of latex-clad womanhood (which is surely irresistible to any guy that still has a pulse).

    PVC was a common material for above-the-knee boots, ladies raincoats etc th the 60s when I was in my youth so I guess that is again an association thing.

    Leather fetish I think I can blame on the delightful Diana Rigg who in 1960s “The Avengers” was always appearing in a leather cat suit - more than my formative brain could handle!

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    elo01 [sign in to see picture]
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    Very good to read you all!

    I think for me it's because I can let totally go and being submissive is about enjoying the feel without controlling at all !

    I also run lots of things in my vertical life so I think it's just a huge change to let control go and just obey for once.

    And always felt like pain is enhancing pleasure or happiness

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    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
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    elo01 wrote:

    Very good to read you all!

    I think for me it's because I can let totally go and being submissive is about enjoying the feel without controlling at all !

    I also run lots of things in my vertical life so I think it's just a huge change to let control go and just obey for once.

    And always felt like pain is enhancing pleasure or happiness

    I love being able to submit and give up all control which is in total contrast to my work life and personality yet it comes so naturally with my husband.

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    elo01 [sign in to see picture]
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    smirnoff09 wrote:

    elo01 wrote:

    Very good to read you all!

    I think for me it's because I can let totally go and being submissive is about enjoying the feel without controlling at all !

    I also run lots of things in my vertical life so I think it's just a huge change to let control go and just obey for once.

    And always felt like pain is enhancing pleasure or happiness

    I love being able to submit and give up all control which is in total contrast to my work life and personality yet it comes so naturally with my husband.

    Yeah we're the same! it's pretty amazing to find a match who it's natural with I think! We're lucky !
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    I've always been attracted to natural looking people. But no idea why!

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    Unifan [sign in to see picture]
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    I am pretty sure mine developed from my sexual awakening as a teenager. I loved the sight of the girls doing netball or cross country running at school and that created a love of uniforms that I share with my OH. I have no interest in her pretending to be back at school - I love her in uniform now

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    I think a lot do stem from childhood. Take foot fetish and stockings/tights for example. Little toddler on the floor near his mother by her feet and legs. Toddler cries and goes to mother for comfort and touches shoes and or legs. Mother picks child up.
    Being dominated I think relates to my relationship with my dad. He wasn't really there for me but he was the one who dished out the smacks so I got his attention that way. My mum and dad had what would now be probably called an old fashioned relationship like a 24/7 ds relationship so I feel comfortable with a dominant male.

    It's an interesting topic.

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