• Therapy

    1487445629
    EngAz [sign in to see picture]
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    Anybody here been to a sex therapist or coach with their partner? What was it like, what was the result?

    1487448811
    Peggingand fun [sign in to see picture]
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    No but i was just thinking about suggestions the something to my wife this morning any advice would be helping two people

    1487451031

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    Went to a sex therapist once just to see if I was a sex edict but my score came in under the limit so I was classed as just having a high sex drive.

    I've often thought about retiring to be a sex therapist or coach. Seeingpeople sexualy happy and women confident in their bodies is a powerful thing . if your able to help them achieve this its very rewarding.

    1487503622
    cobra1987 [sign in to see picture]
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    If you need some help then you need to find sex therapist or coach but I would advise some with experience as its hard to find one that is good and with loads of experience. Hope you find one.

    1487509268
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Gentle giant wrote:

    Went to a sex therapist once just to see if I was a sex edict but my score came in under the limit so I was classed as just having a high sex drive.

    I've often thought about retiring to be a sex therapist or coach. Seeingpeople sexualy happy and women confident in their bodies is a powerful thing . if your able to help them achieve this its very rewarding.

    No reputable sex therapist will admit that sex addiction is real as it's not a real medical condition, although they may highlight other sex related issues and behaviours.

    I'm a sex coach and do a mixture of talking and body work. I'm getting around to doing my councillors qualifications this year and moving onto sex and relationship qualification once I've saved for the fee which will start after I've paid off the other fees later this year. I may have already managed to get a few places for the clinical time for the higher level qualifications too, but it may take awhile.

    Is there anything in particular you are looking to work through as you can find various therapists and counsellors through directories who are trained with different knowledge and methods they can use. For some the approached used is very important, some people do psychotherapy, others cognitive behaviours therapy, some mindful approach, and then there's even hypnotherapy. I'd ake sure that they have experience and are qualified in these methods on top of their therapy/ counselling qualifications. You can often find therapy directories online which will also make sure that you find qualified and insured people.

    Many sex coaches don't have qualifications. I've trained under a few alternative and official courses, but if you're looking for alternative methods such as tantric massage and bondage massage there are directories for these too. Sadly the UK is still behind when it comes to sex positive qualifications.

    I've never been to one myself just studied it, and have friends who do it as a career so we do chat about methods extra to an extent, but however, I must admit it's all very individualistic.

    1487511558
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    You may find it helpful to check out the register of therapists on the association for family therapy (AFT). People who have trained as systemic family and couples psychotherapists and are eligible to register with AFT have undergone rigorous training. Many will have gone on to do additional training in sex therapy, and it's an issue that's comes up a lot in couple work. Alternatively, if whoever you contact isn't taking on new clients or isn't the right fit, they can probably signpost you to someone else locally.

    There are a whole range of therapeutic directories as Lady Ness says above, I'd do some research and see what fits well for you as a couple.

    1487511626
    203 [sign in to see picture]
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    You may find it helpful to check out the register of therapists on the association for family therapy (AFT). People who have trained as systemic family and couples psychotherapists and are eligible to register with AFT have undergone rigorous training. Many will have gone on to do additional training in sex therapy, and it's an issue that's comes up a lot in couple work. Alternatively, if whoever you contact isn't taking on new clients or isn't the right fit, they can probably SIG post you to someone else locally.

    There are a whole range of therapeutic directories as Lady Ness says above, I'd do some research and see what fits well for you as a couple.

    1487514102
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Here's also relates directory: https://www.relate.org.uk/find-your-nearest-relate

    1487517289

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    Lady Ness thanks and very informative.

    It was 20 years ago and yes no self respective sex therapist would consider it now.

    It lead me down the path of self education and studying sex, sexual psychology from as many sources as possible.

    This just made me realise just as your self that every single person male and females desires, wants and needs are very very specific to them.

    Most with let's say issue have experienced or seen something in their upbringing that steers them down the path they find themselves on.

    1487528892
    Fraction [sign in to see picture]
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    I had Relate counselling with a partner at the  time and it was very hard work emotionally but it is worth doing if you are serious about making changes. The only thing I would say is you both need to be on board for anything to really change. It is possible to go to sex therapy alone for particular issues or if you do not have a partner. Search an online book shop for the Relate Guide to Sex in Loving Relationships, that will give you a reasonable idea of what to expect.

    There is no formal regulation or qualifications framework for counsellors in the UK so it is a bit of a wild west out there. Make sure they are registered with a professional body like and that their qualifications come from a reputable organisation like a university or specialist agency like Relate.

    The different approaches (CBT, systemic, psychodynamic and so on) are more suited to some people and some issues than others so it's not possible to give specific advice on what to look for. All you can do is find someone you feel comfortable with and who you trust to be competent. A true professional will refer you to someone who has the right skills if they are not able to help you themselves.

    1490241372
    EngAz [sign in to see picture]
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    Lady Ness wrote:

    Here's also relates directory: https://www.relate.org.uk/find-your-nearest-relate

    Thanks for the resource, I'm in the US (Arizona to be specific), I have a few therapists and coaches in mind. I wonder how effective they can be though, I'm hoping to hear incredible success stories that are encouraging. My fear is that I'm essentially wanting to fundamentally change someone's core being. Can't change a Leppard's spots and all that. Feel somewhat as though the time has passed to fix anything and I'm stuck with what is otherwise a fabulous wife and mother but a below subpar lover.
    1490276907
    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I saw a relationship therapist on my own to discuss some of the issues I have with relationships and to talk through a few things about my kinks. I've had some very negative experiences and wanted to explore whether, given those experiences, my kinks were healthy. I had an amazing therapist who totally understood my kinks (even the more extreme ones) and relationship dynamic (D/s). It was the first time I had ever been able to speak openly with a professional. I left knowing my kinks were healthy for me. I felt so much happier with the fact I don't really want a traditional monogamous relationship and I felt more able to find ways of having relationships that make me happy, whatever form they take.

    If you were in England I'd suggest using www.pinktherapy.com to find a therapist. I don't really know much about finding a therapist in the US.

    1490311227
    Fraction [sign in to see picture]
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    EngAz wrote:

    Lady Ness wrote:

    Here's also relates directory: https://www.relate.org.uk/find-your-nearest-relate

    Thanks for the resource, I'm in the US (Arizona to be specific), I have a few therapists and coaches in mind. I wonder how effective they can be though, I'm hoping to hear incredible success stories that are encouraging. My fear is that I'm essentially wanting to fundamentally change someone's core being. Can't change a Leppard's spots and all that. Feel somewhat as though the time has passed to fix anything and I'm stuck with what is otherwise a fabulous wife and mother but a below subpar lover.

    Part of the process in most forms of sex and relationships therapy is getting you both to a place where you can accept that you won't get everything you hoped for, but that what you can get might just be enough. It can also be a good way to explore whether the insurmountable differences are a deal-breaker, or something you can learn to live with. You are very unlikely to come out of the process worse-off in the long run. I hope it works out for you, either way.

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