• Low sex drive help?

    1486678645
    sexy j [sign in to see picture]
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    I have recently been diagnosed with PCOS and potentual Endometriosis. Unfortunaltly this means that sex can sometimes be very painful and has left with with a very low sex drive. I can go a month without sex but its starting to put a strain on my relationship.

    I have been with my partner for 7 1/2 years so he understands. But it really effects me that I cant always be intimate with him. It has also led to me having to instigate sex as he doesnt know if I am able to or not.

    Does anyone know of any successful was of incresing my sex drive?

    Is there anyway that i can let him know that i am into it without outright saying it? Lingerie isnt always an option as we house share. I want him to be able to start it without me having to tell him.

    1486680057
    Gigglesandjiggles [sign in to see picture]
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    Not much help but I have both PCOS and endo too and know how much of a buzz kill they can be so huge hugs to you.

    As for helping instigate, even kisses can show your intentions, or you could try not wearing a bra so he can see your nipples under your top or whispering that you have no knickers on when you're both in the kitchen, or send him a naughty text during the day? You don't have to be overt with it, maybe just a bit cheeky. Good luck xxx

    1486680544
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I really feel for you. Your low sex drive, is that down to the pain you feel during, or after. The only thing I can think of is to keep trying when ever you feel able to. And only when you feel you can, so you don't associate the pain with sex, as much. And have you considered non PIV sexual intamacy; there are lots of other things to do to have sexual intimacy.

    As for a way to let him know you are into it, is there any particular place he likes to be touched; or to kiss him in a way that he would get the message. Even a certain look that he could learn to pick up on.

    Is it that you don't feel able to say it out right, you are, shy, ect, or that you feel it kills the mood, so to speak; because really I don't think there is anything wrong with being verbally open with this. Though I do know that it's something many couples struggle with. Maybe it's just me that likes to be open. Not that I have much experience, of the the matter, being someone who finds it seemingly impossible to find a relationship.

    1486690347
    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
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    My heart goes out to you so much x

    I had a hysterectomy in Nov due to constant pain and sex could be a huge challenge.

    I found telling my husband the really difficult times of my cycle especially ovulation made things easier as he knew I wasn't shunning him but the pain was just too much, I would make an extra effort at these times to concentrate on him which gave a whole new dimension to our relationship.

    After my op, my sex drive has been through the roof from the day after the op so we had to get very creative around intimacy as I was on a sex ban for 8 weeks. We have rediscovered the joy of kissing (back to feeling like teenagers ) I thought there would be no way I could kiss and not go to full on sex but actually stopping at kissing gave it real intimacy without the need to go any further and even though we are back to being able to have sex we have not stopped the kissing and we feel closer than ever.

    Touch is another thing we have reignited, again at times we haven't thought as much about touch as maybe we could have but lying together, enjoying the feel of each other has become so important

    I have found the kissing and touching has brought us even closer together and deepened things and tbh things were pretty good before now they are even better. The one things that has improved while kissing and touching more has been how much we have been talking during these times and in a way we haven't done for a while became often life just gets in the way,

    It almost feels like a relationship we would have had when we were much younger and missed out on due to meeting as 38 yrs old adults with kids in tow so quiet often the main concern during sex was not to wake them

    Sharing with your partner how you feel is so important as most problems come from misunderstandings.

    Try not to beat yourself up when you are in pain either, guilt is a nasty mind trick and one that brings no positives.

    I wish you all the best xx

    1486825268
    The Real Mr Grey [sign in to see picture]
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    A secret or 'code' word when said by you that lets him know that you are ok might help as might wearing a particular item of clothing not normally worn.
    Think of ideas how you could 'inform' him that he is ok to start things and you,ll be surprised what you both can come up with.

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