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  1. Advice plz

    1486411989
    Dee36 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    How do find a fwb with body issues not getting very far at the moment

    1486412386
    jaymma [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 128
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2014

    What body issues do you have? The reality is that if somebody was worth having benefits with, these issues would subside.

    Sexiness is not about the body. It's all in the mind in my opinion xxx

    1486412403
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5026
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    Am I understanding your question right? You want a FWB WITH body issues?

    Why would you want that? Unless you want to humiliate them?

    Have I missed your point?

    I think I must have misunderstood your question.

    1486412499
    jaymma [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 128
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2014

    I think dee is saying that she has issues.

    1486412767
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    jaymma wrote:

    I think dee is saying that she has issues.

    Misunderstood the question!! Sorry xxx

    Agree - sexiness is more about confidence - take it from someone who has fought with body image for years, and is still trying to deal with it. Unless you can accept yourself as you are, you will always give off negative vibes.

    Xxxx

    1486413217
    jaymma [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 12 Feb 2014

    It's bizarre when you meet people who have a aura about them, yet if you were to put them in a line up with what would be deemed by social media etc as sexy people, the former would not be deemed sexy.

    Far to much of sexiness is related to visual aspects of peoples character these days.

    I know loads of women that are sexy, because they are into sex and indulge in it. Indulging in the pleasures of the body and mind creates sexy aura. Be positive, be proud to look in the mirror, explore your minds and body and know what its capable of, then you can get over any issues you unjustifiably have.

    You are sexy because you are talking positively about sex issues already. Xxx

    1486413557
    Dee36 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    Meant that I have body issues and want to feel sexy in myself but without being in a full on relationship

    1486414688
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Hi Dee, welcome to the forum 😊

    I'm sorry to hear that you're having some body issues. I deeply struggle with this myself, but I have found a couple of things that have helped.

    1. Use something that makes you feel good.

    Is there a particular lipstick you like? Do you prefer your hair styled in a certain way? Is there a specific outfit that accentuates your best assets and covers the parts that you're having issues with?

    Any of these things can make you feel that little bit better. Even if it's something small such as the scent of your favourite perfume, do something that makes you feel good. This is the perfect starting point.

    2. Lingerie.

    Now, I know you might be thinking that I'm talking nonsense here, but hear me out. Lingerie can be a game changer and it has worked wonders for me. You might think that you're not confident enough to wear it, but you're mistaken. It will give you such a confidence boost to find a piece of flattering lingerie. Even if you don't wish to wear it in front of someone else, wear it for yourself.

    Opt for something simple at first, maybe a lace robe? These can be fastened at the waist which creates a slimmer figure whilst hiding the stomach. Longer length robes can hide cellulite, the upper thighs etc. Robes are also great for hiding the arms if that's something you're conscious about. I have a ton of these in my collection as they're perfect for days where I don't want to show much skin.

    If you want any specific suggestions, let us know your sizing and what areas you'd like to cover and I'm sure we can find you something that will make you feel a million dollars.

    3. A reassuring partner.

    I'm not sure what your type is or what sort of things you're interested in, so I can't offer up any specific suggestions of where to meet such a person, but I'm sure it won't be hard to find somebody if you hang out at places filled with people with similar interests. Go for the person who tells you that you look great and means it, as chances are they will be just as reassuring with their words and actions once your clothes are off. Reassurance is just as sexy as confidence.

    Sorry for the long post!

    Hope some of this was helpful.

    1486416910
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    Dee36 wrote:

    Meant that I have body issues and want to feel sexy in myself but without being in a full on relationship

    So sorry for misreading - that's what you get for trying to multi task!!

    I have to agree with what NatandTom has said above.

    I still slip into periods of really bad body image issues, but they are becoming less frequent.

    It is something you will have to consciously work at xxxx

    1486418202
    Goodvibrationz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 392
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2017

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Dee36 wrote:

    Meant that I have body issues and want to feel sexy in myself but without being in a full on relationship

    So sorry for misreading - that's what you get for trying to multi task!!

    I have to agree with what NatandTom has said above.

    I still slip into periods of really bad body image issues, but they are becoming less frequent.

    It is something you will have to consciously work at xxx

    +1

    Me too at times, but these last few weeks I have accepted the positive things people have told me and accepted them. Someone once said that not accepting a compliment is like giving back a gift - which is true I think. There are already some lovely suggestions on this thread so I can't add anything new but please be assured that sexiness is about confidence - not about trying to look like a model.

    GV X

    1486419157
    Tony McA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 4 Feb 2017

    I would like to suggest trying to find a group of people that share your interests, is body positive, and very open minded. I found a group of friends like that. We were all part of a burlesque group. The show is very body positive, and it made those with body issues feel very comfortable. My friends were also very open minded, and many people were in open relationships while many others were FWB.

    I found this group accidentally, but what really got me involved was being willing just to say yes. When I was asked to become a part of this group, I was hesitant. I stayed with the group for many years. I, unfortunately, had to move away, but I made many life long friends.

    Personally, I am a sapiosexual; meaning I find intelligence sexually appealing. I know this wouldn't negate your body issues, but it might help if you were able to find someone that is attracted to qualities other than physical appearance. I know this does help with my partner's body issues.

    1486419291
    Dee36 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    Some good advice thanks,I can put on underwear and nice things but I think I some mental block after being in stressful long relationship definitely is a confidence thing

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    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 268
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    Seeing either red or black is not the end of but appreciating them for what they are bring changes to my life.
    I'm 5' 2" weighing 12 stones, tattooed chest and butt, love "wet"sexy lingeries and I'm a beauty in the eyes of my hub... Lol.

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