• delaying ejaculation help?

    1486612534
    Devoted Husband [sign in to see picture]
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    +1
    I have used a few different types of delay sprays and not being able to have an erection is the worst side effect ever, which lasted for several hours.
    However one brand had even made my OH feel numb which just killed the mood.
    The longest I have lasted was over an hour (not by choice, just couldn't orgasm), but my OH who had a few orgasms was very saw at the end of the session.

    1486735619
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm just wondering, if man used it and when he is id, wont the "delay gel/spray" gets transferred over resulting in numbness in her too?

    1486742919
    Shakti [sign in to see picture]
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    It is my understanding that you spray it on some minutes before and let it dry, so it doesn't numb her as well.
    Personally I'm not a fan of numbing sprays, my best advice is to take the long road and learn how to be able to relax into and contain the intensity of sexual arousal. It's not a quick fix, but in my opinion it's the most satisfying in the end to have the control coming from within you.

    1) Relax
    Try to be relaxed the whole time when practicing edging, rather than action/tensing and then stopping/relaxing. Be aware of the build up and go slow. Relax both physically and mentally, let go of any performance related thoughts and just enjoy being in the moment. Don't worry about having to "get somewhere".

    2) Watch your breathing
    Keep it slow and deep, whenever you have shallow and rapid breathing everything is much much harder to control.

    3) Focus on love/connecting/togetherness
    When you zoom in on pleasure our the feeling of inner pressure mounting, it can be like driving a car and getting distracted by something on the side if the road, before you know it you are veering off course towards it.
    Focusing on the emotions of connecting helps to lift the energies so it doesn't create as much inner pressure, and without decreasing the pleasure.

    4) Practice kegels
    For both men and women this increases your awareness of the genital area, which in turn increases your level of control. Also try to be completely present when you do your exercises, it's great that you can do kegels wherever and whenever, but if your mind is not there then you don't get the effect of increased awareness. Sexual pleasure and orgasm is like millions of input in a very short time, if we are not aware it can feel like an overload, difficult to control. Actively getting to know yourself and your responses will help bring clarity and breathing room when you need it the most. After all they say the human brain is more powerful than computers and if computers can do millions of computations in seconds, then so can we! We just need to learn:-)

    5) Communicate
    Make it a common exploration of sexuality and talk about abt issue that may come up. Endurance training can be very frustrating without communication for both of you, she also may feel that things are getting worse/not as fun/spontaneous for a period of time and communicating will help dissolve potential conflicts and to support each other.


    This is also what will eventually make you able to experience dry orgasms. As you relax into pleasure and it increases and you relax and it increases you suddenly find yourself in an intense orgasm, which is amazing to see! I'm blessed to be with someone who has practiced this for many years and I know it has taken quite some effort and dedication, but I must say the results are soooo worth it :-D

    Sorry about the long message, hope it's helpful.

    1486753316
    Arthur George [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 13 Jan 2009

    Back in the day when with a partner I had ' problems ' with not being able to control my orgasms and found finger pressure between the area of balls and arse took the urge away temporarily and allowed me to move / thrust again.

    I also think that delayed orgasm whilst masturbating helps , so as you feel it approaching stop jerking until the feeling has subsided and then start again. However do make sure you do climax otherwise you may suffer from ' blue balls ' as I did which was , not so much painful but uncomfortable.

    i wish you luck

    1486864972
    Tholuc [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2016

    Shakti wrote:

    It is my understanding that you spray it on some minutes before and let it dry, so it doesn't numb her as well.
    Personally I'm not a fan of numbing sprays, my best advice is to take the long road and learn how to be able to relax into and contain the intensity of sexual arousal. It's not a quick fix, but in my opinion it's the most satisfying in the end to have the control coming from within you.

    1) Relax
    Try to be relaxed the whole time when practicing edging, rather than action/tensing and then stopping/relaxing. Be aware of the build up and go slow. Relax both physically and mentally, let go of any performance related thoughts and just enjoy being in the moment. Don't worry about having to "get somewhere".

    2) Watch your breathing
    Keep it slow and deep, whenever you have shallow and rapid breathing everything is much much harder to control.

    3) Focus on love/connecting/togetherness
    When you zoom in on pleasure our the feeling of inner pressure mounting, it can be like driving a car and getting distracted by something on the side if the road, before you know it you are veering off course towards it.
    Focusing on the emotions of connecting helps to lift the energies so it doesn't create as much inner pressure, and without decreasing the pleasure.

    4) Practice kegels
    For both men and women this increases your awareness of the genital area, which in turn increases your level of control. Also try to be completely present when you do your exercises, it's great that you can do kegels wherever and whenever, but if your mind is not there then you don't get the effect of increased awareness. Sexual pleasure and orgasm is like millions of input in a very short time, if we are not aware it can feel like an overload, difficult to control. Actively getting to know yourself and your responses will help bring clarity and breathing room when you need it the most. After all they say the human brain is more powerful than computers and if computers can do millions of computations in seconds, then so can we! We just need to learn:-)

    5) Communicate
    Make it a common exploration of sexuality and talk about abt issue that may come up. Endurance training can be very frustrating without communication for both of you, she also may feel that things are getting worse/not as fun/spontaneous for a period of time and communicating will help dissolve potential conflicts and to support each other.


    This is also what will eventually make you able to experience dry orgasms. As you relax into pleasure and it increases and you relax and it increases you suddenly find yourself in an intense orgasm, which is amazing to see! I'm blessed to be with someone who has practiced this for many years and I know it has taken quite some effort and dedication, but I must say the results are soooo worth it :-D

    Sorry about the long message, hope it's helpful.

    This sounds like great advice, except for the kegels. I thought it would help but apparently learning to tense those muscles means you cum a lot quicker, which is something I've found to be true. Reverse kegels, I.e "relaxing" seem to be working better for me but I'm not sure how to go about practicing it.

    1486865060
    Tholuc [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2016

    as well, has anyone found certain positions make you cum quicker. I know people say doggy means you go in deep etc, but I've found being on top and having to hold myself up tenses me up, so I finish a lot faster. has anyone else found this?/ could recommend good positions?

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