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  1. Trouble having orgasms or even staying wet 😣

    1486141356
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .

    1486142117
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6248
    • Joined: 18 Dec 2007

    Hi there, Perhaps you could try doing some other things apart from penetration for a while - try not to force things, and build up slowly - a slow sensuous massage for each other, oral sex etc. Also do you use a lubricant? It really does make everything so much more comfortable. You could try some flavoured lubes for oral sex too - Lovehoney do a great range - I also highly recommend Sliquid lubes too - see below: xx

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/lubricants/flavoured-lubes/lovehoney/all/all/all/all/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/brands/sliquid/

    1486142651
    Goodvibrationz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 392
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2017

    Scared'lil'pussy wrote:

    Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .

    Hi there. We were bordering on a similar situation a week or two ago so my OH bought a very slim 3 1/2 inch vibrator (7ins long) with a tapered tip from LH and with lots of lube and some patience it worked. One vibrator we originally bought was 5 1/2 inches round and no way was that going in!

    Even now it takes some oral and a little finger action at the back - but more often than not I get there.

    Really hope it works out for you.

    GV XX

    1486143157
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6677
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Lube, lube, lube! I can not recommend it enough.

    There's no reason for you to go without pleasure when this exists. Simply apply some to his penis and a little to yourself and you're good to go. It can honestly be a lifesaver when you're suffering from vaginal dryness and it also makes sex feel so much better in my opinion. I would recommend any by Sliquid.

    As for the tensing, do you know why this is? Could it be down to stress from daily life? Worrying about being dry or in agony from forceful/rough sex? Or could it be that you're worrying about not being able to get off? If you can work out the reasons as to why you've started to tense up during play, you can hopefully work on sorting those things out and getting back on track :)

    1486144997
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    Goodvibrationz wrote:

    Scared'lil'pussy wrote:

    Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .

    Hi there. We were bordering on a similar situation a week or two ago so my OH bought a very slim 3 1/2 inch vibrator (7ins long) with a tapered tip from LH and with lots of lube and some patience it worked. One vibrator we originally bought was 5 1/2 inches round and no way was that going in!

    Even now it takes some oral and a little finger action at the back - but more often than not I get there.

    Really hope it works out for you.

    GV XX

    Scorpious12 I have two lubes that use when using toys both from lovehoney http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31586 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7163 As I said only used for toys, I've a feeling a lot of my problems is down to stress as off work. Getting very annoyed all I want is my sex life to be the way it was. Thinking of getting a more powerful you what would you suggest.
    1486145079
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    God didn't even post that right. Sorry.

    1486151152
    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 615
    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    You can use lube as well during sex with your partner, and not just with sex toys. And it would probably help to relax and not focus too much on orgasming or being too dry etc. Probably easier said than done, but try not to be frustrated about it. If you manage to squirt and find yourself drying out after, then take a break from penetration and move on to other things until you recover. Take things slowly and as they happen, there are lots of different things you can do during play :)

    You didn't mention your age, but if you are postmenopausal and constantly having pain during sex, it's probably worth a trip to the doctor's. They can help with oestrogen creams etc. if that's the case. Also not sure what "more powerful" thing you're looking for?

    1486153277
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    captainmeow wrote:

    You can use lube as well during sex with your partner, and not just with sex toys. And it would probably help to relax and not focus too much on orgasming or being too dry etc. Probably easier said than done, but try not to be frustrated about it. If you manage to squirt and find yourself drying out after, then take a break from penetration and move on to other things until you recover. Take things slowly and as they happen, there are lots of different things you can do during play :)

    You didn't mention your age, but if you are postmenopausal and constantly having pain during sex, it's probably worth a trip to the doctor's. They can help with oestrogen creams etc. if that's the case. Also not sure what "more powerful" thing you're looking for?

    Captainmeow, thanks for the reply, I'm 43 and have always been quite dry, never seems to feel really wet at any point. Think we will start using the lube from now on for all aspects of play and full on penetration. The pain only occurs if I'm on top of him but we kinda know that we shouldn't do it that way but it gives the rush and push over the edge. If we do it cowboy style it doesn't occur but if I face him and on top there's a 95% chance I'm going be in pain. Been to doctors over the years about it and it's because of the way everything has shifted after having children. But doesn't warrant any further intervention. So I'm meant to behave and not sit on top. The more powerful toy I was thinking of was something that would ramp the vibration up for clit and vagina stimulation cause hubby can't maintain pressure due to joint inflammation in wrists. Sorry to go on but I'm needing a bit of pleasure to take the burden off and they do say that an orgasm gives off endorphins of sensual pleasure. Just can't go into detail why I'm off work to begin with, just wish I could talk to someone who doesn't belong to my family.
    1486155543
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6677
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    What vibrators are you currently using? That would be really helpful for us to know so we can recommend something with more power :)

    1486157253
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    NatandTom wrote:

    What vibrators are you currently using? That would be really helpful for us to know so we can recommend something with more power :)

    NatandTom am currently using a clot stimulator and a remote vibrating love egg. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28041 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36377 I've tried them separately and together but all I get is tinged from them.
    1486170607
    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 615
    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    The We-Vibe Tango is my personal fav for strong vibrations http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30320
    I find the vibrations with this one really deep and rumbly, and quiet enough for me. It's also rather pinpoint. If you want something just as strong + quiet, but with broader stimulation, the We-Vibe Touch has the same motor as the Tango, just in a different body http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30319 

    If noise isn't an issue and you just want loads of strength, or you prefer broader stimulation, wands are probably the way to go!

    1486188098
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    captainmeow wrote:

    The We-Vibe Tango is my personal fav for strong vibrations http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30320
    I find the vibrations with this one really deep and rumbly, and quiet enough for me. It's also rather pinpoint. If you want something just as strong + quiet, but with broader stimulation, the We-Vibe Touch has the same motor as the Tango, just in a different body http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30319

    If noise isn't an issue and you just want loads of strength, or you prefer broader stimulation, wands are probably the way to go!

    Thank you Captainmeow, I will certainly look into all suggestions, hoping I can find something that treats both of us and it may stop me feeling I'm letting hubby down. Even though he has told me hundreds of times that I'm not. Just need to focus as hubby says and forget what's happening in my life just now as we can't change it.
    1486216078
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 475
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    Hi, is this something that happened recently? I'm in my late forties and most of my peers are using lots and lots of lube. Yes a little messy but who cares.

    @NatandTom, I agree with you. I can never recommend enough!

    1486221301
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    4Uonly wrote:

    Hi, is this something that happened recently? I'm in my late forties and most of my peers are using lots and lots of lube. Yes a little messy but who cares.

    @NatandTom, I agree with you. I can never recommend enough!

    It's got worse recently since I've been off work sick, but tried lube last night and was much easier. Still no orgasm though.
    1486227491
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6677
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    If the Tango is out of your price range at the moment then there's the Motörhead/Motley Crue Classic Vibrators. They are friendly to a budget but still pretty powerful.

    Alternatively there are clitoral gels and balms that can increase sensitivity so applying some before using a vibrator could help out with achieving an orgasm.

    1486245620
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    NatandTom wrote:

    If the Tango is out of your price range at the moment then there's the Motörhead/Motley Crue Classic Vibrators. They are friendly to a budget but still pretty powerful.

    Alternatively there are clitoral gels and balms that can increase sensitivity so applying some before using a vibrator could help out with achieving an orgasm.

    Thanks NatandTom a lot of stuff out of price range at moment so if anything I could try is the gels or balms and use with clit vibrator I have just now. Thanks for trying to help me.
    1486287231
    Naughtybad [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 2 May 2015

    Do you take antihistamines? They are in some cold and flu remedies also some sleeping tablets plus of course hay fever remedies. They work by drying everything up so can affect everything! Having babies shouldn't really affect your sex life unless you had major complications and pain after sex should be investigated properly. Hike this helps. Xxxx

    1486288866
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    Naughtybad wrote:

    Do you take antihistamines? They are in some cold and flu remedies also some sleeping tablets plus of course hay fever remedies. They work by drying everything up so can affect everything! Having babies shouldn't really affect your sex life unless you had major complications and pain after sex should be investigated properly. Hike this helps. Xxxx

    Naughtybad only meds I'm on are high blood pressure and stomach acid control tablets, been on hbp tabs 7 weeks and stomach tabs 4 months. Been checked out and no obvious signs of disturbance or reasoning behind drying out but did have complications after 2 of my kids but they have no affect on the drying out, pain comes from where my womb lies. Have been using the water based lube for last two nights and the effect has been a lot better, not drying out as much and just add a bit more if I do, but finding it does seem to stimulate my own juices a bit more so things improving that way.
    1486290658
    Hellobubbles [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 22 Jan 2017

    Can you cum by yourself? I would definitely take some time alone and explore yourself again. Get relaxed, get some lube and get playing. I think you and your husband are putting too much pressure on getting the "O". I find that sometimes if I know my husband is expecting me to cum I find it harder and I can't always perform. Can you even have a glass or 2 of wine before? Just to try and relax and take the pressure off? I honestly think you should stop trying for a while and just focus on relaxing. Maybe tease each other for a few days before trying again.

    1486292050
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    Hellobubbles wrote:

    Can you cum by yourself? I would definitely take some time alone and explore yourself again. Get relaxed, get some lube and get playing. I think you and your husband are putting too much pressure on getting the "O". I find that sometimes if I know my husband is expecting me to cum I find it harder and I can't always perform. Can you even have a glass or 2 of wine before? Just to try and relax and take the pressure off? I honestly think you should stop trying for a while and just focus on relaxing. Maybe tease each other for a few days before trying again.

    Hellobubbles yes I can cum by myself, I understand what you are saying I think you may be right, I am not performing because I'm desperate to keep hubby happy due to me being very stressed it's just getting worse. So we not concentrating as much on penetration but trying more massage and foreplay if it leads to penetration so be it but we not forcing the issue. We are using a lot more lube to help everything along.

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