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  1. Rough Sex/Masturbation

    1485372697
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    I really enjoy when my OH is a bit rough during sex, i.e. really hard, fast and deep when using a dildo. Hair pulling, taking control and throwing me about a bit with position changes, hand on my throat and hard spanking, but within reason and knows my limit. He is very respectful and has never ever taken it too far! And it is always on request. He knows what I like, as we have always discussed things beforehand. He also likes a bit of pain inflicted during a sesh. Heels dug into him hard, biting and scratching etc. I also enjoy solo playing rough using our toys.
    With my hubby though I can end up feeling guilty, especially the next day when I see bruises or cuts on him. He always reassures me that it's fine and he wouldn't let me or ask me to do this to him if he didn't enjoy it. But I feel bad that I've marked him! He's the same if it's been really rough and I bleed a little afterwards, but there's no physical marks on me!

    Does anyone else ever feel this way? Is it normal to feel guilt, or do I need to (stop worrying)?

    1485373093
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6671
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    When I first started playing around with rough sex and pain with my partner, I would experience this a lot. I think it's normal to feel like this, even when the bruises are consensual, because that's generally an instinctive response when you hurt someone. I think I'd be worried if I didn't feel like that to be honest. I'd be more of a sadist than I'd like to be!

    As long as the lines of communication remain open, things are discussed honestly and you're both completely fine with what's taking place, I would try to reassure yourself that it's ok. It can take some time to be ok with causing consensual pain, even if it feels wonderful in the moment. I think your brain just wants to check in that things weren't taken too far etc.

    .

    1485373866
    Frisky freckles [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 6 Feb 2013

    There's nothing wrong in feeling guilty cause you don't want your husband to suffer or be in pain. But as long as he says he's fine and not in any immense physical pain then you're only giving him pain that gives him pleasure not full pain of that makes sense. I did back scratchin, biting and spanking . Giving pleasure with pain and having rough sex is based on trust and talking about it as long as you know each other's limits.

    1485376344
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2682
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    I think its a good thing you feel guilty in a way. It shows how much you love and respect him.

    As long as you both know your limits and trust each other then its all ok. 😘

    1485376586
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    Thank you so much guys, this makes me feel a lot better! So glad it's an instinctive response to feel a sense of guilt. Thankfully we have great communication and complete trust, i just find it hard to see the after math of what I've inflicted on a person I love soooo much. Very strange and surreal trying to process the whole pain/pleasure part when looking at, what I can only describe as a result of a vicious attack! Hopefully it will get easier, and if he's happy then I'm happy ☺️

    1485419956
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1127
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    My OH loves the thought of me scratching him but I worry about my manicure! I do feel a bit bad if I leave marks on him though.

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    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1127
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    My OH loves the thought of me scratching him but I worry about my manicure! I do feel a bit bad if I leave marks on him though.

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    cobra1987 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2013

    Its ok to be a bit like this. If you both have a good time. It also good to safe work also. If you trust each other then go for it.

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    romp123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2016

    I like rough sex but my current on and off again complicated partner isn't into it. Any suggestions on how to persuade him? or do a just need to put up with vanilla or finally break it off.

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    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1127
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    @romp123 how does he react to the usual "harder harder" encouragements?

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    romp123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2016

    He doesn't really. He doesn't have as much experience as me. He thinks I'm having a go at him when I try and tell him what i want.

    1485473039
    Condomfun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 26 Jan 2017

    Dont settle for vanilla. Only you know what you want and need and you deserve to be happy and satisfied x

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    romp123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2016

    Don't think it helps that my ex was all rough no relationship, not that my current OH knows that. At least outside the bedroom my current relationship is good.

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    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    That's really sad romp 123. We all have different needs. If you're trying to be honest and communicate with him and he just blows you off, that's selfish! You could start gently, ask him to spank you a little when he's behind, or hold onto (not pull) your hair. Build him upto it. Do you grip onto him in pleasure, or does he freak? A little nibble on him? Dont settle for less, he can't knock it til he's tried it. If falls on deaf ears, then he's not for you my love. Good luck 😉

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    Luna2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 6 Dec 2016

    My boyfriend and I love rough sex, and I think we just took a while to undertand eachother's limits and desires before we could get it totally right. For example.. I find it a little awkward being rough with him, unless he's blindfolded! He feels terrible sometimes seeing marks on me, but communication is key- now he knows when to stop and things I like and don't like.

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    mixedboy69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 15
    • Joined: 27 Jan 2017

    You shouldnt feel guilty, if you both enjoy it and dont mind and are not being physically hurt then go for it, everyoen likes it a little rough sometimes, no point not being satisfied or vanilla, its perfectly normal though, but its mutal and you both do it so its completely fine.

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    HornyHousewife90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 60
    • Joined: 15 Jun 2016

    @romp123 My husband wasn't at all the rough type when I first met him, he was scared to pull my hair, spank me, etc. The most he did was push me onto the bed. Where as now... he yanks my hair, forces my head down, chokes me, spanks me hard, he's just generally a lot more rough with me. I think it's boils down to past experiences and just how the person is in general. My husband still worries about hurting me but he knows I would tell him which has helped him relax about the whole thing. All you do is talk to him about it outside of the bedroom. Tell him what you like and ask him if he would be willing to start off with some spanking and build from there. Good luck 😉 x

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    HornyHousewife90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 60
    • Joined: 15 Jun 2016

    Sorry that should have said * all you can do

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