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  1. Confidence Issues

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    Minxx_06 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 28 Jan 2013

    Confidence is a major thing with any type of sex you enjoy. My own confidence comes and goes, so I was wondering how others get over their confidence issues, how they start getting into new things ect. I'm sure I won't be the only one with confidence issues sometimes!

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6522
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Body confidence - Lingerie helps a ton. I probably wouldn't be having any sort of sex without it.

    Confidence with a new act - Research it as much as possible beforehand and communicate throughout. His responses and direction can give me a huge confidence boost.

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    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1127
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    I get more confidence with my OH because I have complete faith and trust in him that he will never judge me or let me get hurt (emotionally or physically).

    This gives me,enough to take a leap of faith when I'm feeling in certain.

    Like Nat, lingerie has worked wonders. I have found a style that allows we to focus on the bits of me I like, not the bits that wiggle and jiggle.

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    BookWormOhYeah91 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    my husband helps me a lot with my confidence its the way he looks at me and the fact that he dosent push it if i dont feel comfortable but tha way i help my self is that i look at diffenert types of underwear and what i would be happy in, and trying to things like has been said i just look around and research as best i can to make sure i'm happy trying it but also talking with my husband

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    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1183
    • Joined: 28 Mar 2014

    Lingerie is amazing to get yourself some body confidence, just wear it around the house!

    Giving yourself a positive mind and positive thoughts is a big influence as well. If you are feeling negative about yourself, you're not going to feel confident. Think happy thoughts and look after your mind and body in way way you feel is best :)

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    Letthefunbegin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 461
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2016

    When confidence is low try to remember the reaction of your partner when you did something for them last time and how you felt after you plucked up the courage.

    That has always worked for my partner when she has had confidence issues

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    KittyKatX [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 29 Sep 2014

    I always like to communicate with my partner if it's something new. I, like the other ladies here have said, find lingerie to be a miracle worker in making me feel much more confident, and it excites my partner which in turn makes me more relaxed :)
    I try to research things too before I try them to make sure I know all about them so I know I'm getting it right.
    Just relax, be yourself and find what works for you :)

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    Goodvibrationz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 392
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2017

    Yes, confidence has been a challenge here too - especially around body image. We found that posting a few pics helped - especially when the reponse was positive, X

    1484824001
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 514
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    For me, positive thoughts can help a lot. In the past I was often really down on myself, particularly about my body. I decided I was going to tell myself I liked my body, literally looking at myself and thinking things like "you know what, I really like having thieghs this size, those stretch marks are really beautiful in a strange way." It sounds really weird but it worked for me. I also like to focus on how I feel more than how I look, so if I'm feeling down I try not to put it on my appearance any more (we've probably all had those depressed days when all you can think is I'm so ugly).

    For the confidence to do specific sexual acts, I find that all I really need is to be able to trust my partner and communicate with them easily. I think having a secure relationship where you feel you will never be judged for voicing a sexual desire is the key. If you're struggling with thinking this, try flipping it in your head and imagine how you'd feel if your partner had told you something they'd like to explore with you in bed. You'd probably feel pretty excited. So you can anticipate your partner might feel the same way if you talked to them. That's how I build up the courage to ask for things, although my relationship is so open now I don't really need courage.

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    Lovehoney - Sammi Cole [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 1 Oct 2015

    Minxx_06 wrote:

    Confidence is a major thing with any type of sex you enjoy. My own confidence comes and goes, so I was wondering how others get over their confidence issues, how they start getting into new things ect. I'm sure I won't be the only one with confidence issues sometimes!

    Hey Minxx_06,

    Just this week, I put together a video on how to boost your body confidence. If you'd like to, you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8QqAvckR00

    Thanks, 

    Sammi

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1913
    • Joined: 13 Jan 2012

    Lingerie and alcohol to help lose my inhibitions and lots of encouragement and affirmations from my oh 😊

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7159
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Getting used to your body will help with confidence issues . Losing weight has regained my confidence and it shows in my behaviours when we go out. I used to cover up before looking at myself in a mirror. Not any more.

    I agree lingerie can add tons of confidence for ladies . Also your partner can play a part by complimenting you on a regular basis .Try posing in a mirror in lingerie that will add to your confidence. If you curently have sex with the ligts out then try dimmed lighting instead .

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