• Wait! We think you’re in the US - Lovehoney.com is a better site for you.
    Shop there and get 10% off!
    United States Flag
    Go to Lovehoney.com
  1. sex and the menopause errr

    1484681991
    rough diamond 1962 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2015

    The oh has been going through the menopause for the passed 13 years, this started at the age of 40, we struggle with sex, the pain is unbearable she can take a small vibrator alright but i cant insert my cock without causing pain must be due dryness and thinning of vaginal tissues ,does anyone know if this will get better has anyone else experience this PLEASE HELP .....

    1484684376
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4738
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    Although I seem to be the same age as your wife I haven't personally experienced dryness of that level , I only imagine how horrible it must be for the both of you.
    Has she been to her doctor about it ? I understand that even if a woman isn't suitable for combined hrt or indeed wants it then another option would be an oestrogen cream applied directly into the vagina a few times a week to improve the situation .
    Other than that do you use lube ? A good lube can help massively .
    I'm sorry I can't be any more helpful at the moment.

    1484684506
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3588
    • Joined: 29 Feb 2016

    She should go to her GP or a gynaecologist to get some help. You can get small pills which contain estrogens which you insert into the vagina. It helps with making the vaginal walls more resilient and might make sex less painful.

    However, do it guys use lube? If not, that could help tremendously. I still recommend her going to a doctor though :)

    1484684802
    sexcrazedbear [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 280
    • Joined: 17 May 2016

    That is definitely not inevitable. There are lots of hormone treatments that can help including pessaries and creams that don't cause the side-effects many women find unacceptable from HRT. However, I also wonder if there is a big psychological element. Dyspareunia is notoriously difficult to treat conventionally but often responds to psychosexual therapy. Either way, the GP is a good starting point and I'd advise you to go as a couple initially.

    1484685002
    rough diamond 1962 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2015

    Yes been to doctors she was given hrt and was on these for ten years now going it alone lo,l and we use loads of lube so frustarting ...

    1484685290
    ToGildALily [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 142
    • Joined: 24 May 2016

    While I've not experienced it myself, I kind of want to know what's ahead as I age! Vaginal dryness can happen as part of the menopause and using lube may be necessary if that is the case. I also agree that your wife should get medical advice and treatment if that is required. I would also add that, and I hope this doesn't happen, that some in the medical world are not very helpful even now when it comes to female reproductive health and the menopause is one of those things that gets that treatment. So just in case, support your wife and don't let her get discouraged if that does occur.

    1484692794
    jengles [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 29 Feb 2016

    Hi Rough Diamond, I can offer some words of advice with this problem as I was suffering from it myself. I went to see my GP and she prescribed Replens MD a vaginal moisturiser for ladies with vaginal dryness, I use this every 3rd day and the difference is amazing. I also have a small tablet, which I take twice a week which I insert into my vagina. this is called Vagifem 10mg vaginal tablets. My vagina was so dry and tight that I didn't have intercourse for 8 years, I went to the doctors and I was given vaginal dilators which didn't help as the pain of trying to insert them was unbearable and they made me bleed. Luckily I went back and saw another GP who had cured a lady with the same problem as me. Now I don't have a problem any more and I'm normal again, so please get your wife to go back to your GP and ask for what I was given. Normal lube won't do the job of putting the moisture back and the tablet is really tiny, there are oral one's but my GP said that the insertable tablet goes straight to where it's needed and less risks of any side effects.

    I hope this will be of some help to you, please don't suffer, as with patience it's possible to do something about it.

    1484715779
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1820
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2016

    rough diamond 1962 wrote:

    Yes been to doctors she was given hrt and was on these for ten years now going it alone lo,l and we use loads of lube so frustarting ...

    rough diamond 1962 wrote:

    The oh has been going through the menopause for the passed 13 years, this started at the age of 40, we struggle with sex, the pain is unbearable she can take a small vibrator alright but i cant insert my cock without causing pain must be due dryness and thinning of vaginal tissues ,does anyone know if this will get better has anyone else experience this PLEASE HELP .....

    Maybe you should try having other type of sex than just penetration? You seem very frustrated about the fact that you are not having sex the way you want to, but maybe if you try other things, like using that small vibrator together or other things like that you'd still be able to have a sex life together and enjoy it, together..

    1484765679
    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 615
    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    Totally agree with mamz! Think of this as a way to explore another aspect of sex :) You both might discover things about your bodies that you didn't know before. Using smaller toys as a way to gradually build up again might also be a good idea.

    Also agree with sxleksaker and jengles, this is something you'd want to take up to your GP. They've definitely dealt with these things before, and could offer advice or medical help, whether that would be prescribing medication or referring you on to someone more familiar with this.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.