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  1. Need some advice :)

    Bubbles* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Hey everyone, wondered if anyone could give me some tips or advice on making my man climax.
    Sorry if it's a bit long!

    So I've recently got together with a new guy, and he's quite tricky to please. He did tell me he has had problems with his previous partners as well, that they couldn't make him cum and he always had to finish himself.

    All my previous partners I've been able to please (quite well too) through oral, hands or sex. I think it could be because my new man has alot of foreskin. I haven't spoken to him about it but i'm guessing this is what the problem is? He gets sore from sex and it's alot more difficult for me to give him oral.

    We've been together a few months and things have improved a bit but I really want to make him cum. I know alot of it is just to keep trying and finding out what works for him, but seeing as his previous partners had the same problem i think i need some advice. He can make himself cum just fine and i've tried copying what he does when he masturbates, it worked really well for a while but then made him sore (We use lube too)

    Any help with this will be really appreciated! Thanks :)

    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2777
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Hello and welcome to the forums! Feel the need to point out bubbles is quite possibly one of my favourite words. You just can't say it angrily! ☺

    There could be many a thing that's preventing climax. What is jumping out from what you say is he could well be just used to doing it himself. He knows just what will get him off in the most effective way, so has a bit of a mental blockage when it comes to someone else.

    There are several strokers available on LoveHoney, many are in the sale too. They could be enjoyable for him as well as a decent lube. My husband had a lot of redness at one point, turned out our lube just wasn't dong a good enough job.

    Sit down and have a chat with him. Good luck bubbles!

    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 249
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2014

    Does he masterbate a lot? If so get him to lay off for a few days. Same with porn, does he watch it very often? If so the combination of porn + masterbation conditions the body to only climax a certain way. Some call it the death grip syndrome, where a man's penis becomes desensitised to anything other than his own grip.

    Where's his "spot"? For most it's somewhere on or near the glans, around and rim or the frenulum. Some men may find those same spots too sensitive and painful, however. For example, mine, and I don't know if this is normal or strange, is actually about a cm below the frenulum and slightly to the left. That spot gets me every time. If I wrap a single finger around my penis and stroke that spot, moving up and sort of cupping the head where the frenulum is and back down it very effective. It can take a while but that's okay because it feels great and results in quite a powerful ejaculation.

    One thing you can try is a massage handjob. Basically, explore his penis, find his "spot" (or spots, if he's lucky), and give him a slow, sensual massage using something like coconut oil (pure, natural, good for the skin, tastes nice, win-win) to keep everything slippery and smooth. Stimulate his spot(s) with slow and steady motions, you don't need to go hard and fast as many believe, and this can actually lead to soreness. Built it up gradually, and get firmer/faster only when he gets close to orgasm.

    Another thing you can try, which again works every time for me and feels amazing, is stimulating his anus along with his penis. A rimjob, basically. Few things in the world feel as good as when a woman is licking your anus whilst tugging on your penis.

    Finally, a vibrating toy like a bullet or a magic wand could be very handy in giving him an orgasm. Just be careful about tolerances, too much too soon could result in pain/soreness.

    There's plenty of things you can try and I'm sure you'll both get there (and have plenty of fun on the journey, too).

    Good luck, and have fun!

    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 607
    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    Since you mentioned that he is sore from sex (I'm assuming you mean PIV): can he retract his foreskin past the glans? If he can't, that might be a mild form of phimosis and it might be worthwhile making a trip to the GP to see if there's anything to be done about the pain. He would be able to get himself off fine because his body reacts to any discomfort and he adjusts, almost without him realising.

    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6982
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    If he masturbates often, I'd suggest to him to stop doing so for a while. It's possible he's pleased himself in the same way for so long that anything other than his own hand feels alien to him. It could have also become a mental thing, now that he's convinced he can't orgasm through a partner due to past experiences, that could be blocking him from doing so now.

    We encountered a similar problem with soreness and not climaxing through penetrative sex in the beginning of our relationship but a thicker, gel-like lubricant has really helped with that. We take beaks during that type of sex too, where he will focus on me for a while when he starts to feel overstimulated and come back when he's comfortable.

    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7354
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    My take on this is that it sounds to me he isn't relaxed enough. It could be the environment being too cold ,nervousness or even as another poster suggested a mental block. Another reason is that it could be soreness as he has a lot of for skin. The soreness could be caused quite simply the skin containing some trapped urine when he goes to the loo. I used to have a similar problem when I was over weight and my manhood shrank roughly by a quarter of its old size.In my case it was down to poor blood circulation which corrected itself when I lost weight. To get rid of the soreness used Savlon or a similar mild antiseptic cream over a period of time .

    Going back to the environment make sure that were you have sex he is warm and comfortable with no risk of interruption .I am assuming here as well that he doesn't have any ED problems here and he remains hard all the time, Make sure your sexy enough for him as well as some men like myself are visually stimulated. Being totally naked isnt always the best option, being skimply clad may be better and if your not sure ask. Perhaps dressing up for him in a sexy costume could help e.g. nurse school student etc.

    When doing a hand job or blow job try and vary your technique with some slow motion mixed in with quicker actions. I would also recommend getting a book from Lovehoney such as The best oral Sex you can give by Sonia Byrde .

    You could even try slowly seducing him say after a meal together at home and keep him excited by feeling him through his trousers first and slowly undressing him as the night progresses with plenty of touching and kissing .

    I think its going to be a trial and error situation as to what is going to work here but perhaps myself along with the others on here have given you something to think about.

    Good luck

    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1752
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2015

    Hello bubbles

    As you say you have just recently got with him, the only thing i can prescribe is time. Give yourselves time to discover what works but also remember to not pressure yourselves either. Having to perform sometimes has the opposite desired effect. For example I tried to squirt the other day in front of my FWB, and i just couldnt. I put it down to having an audience. Maybe hes having the same issue?

    Good luck


    Captain Cave Man [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 34
    • Joined: 28 Dec 2016

    Hi there, hope this helps....
    A bit of dirty talk while wanking him off should help.....
    I like when my wife takes her panties off for me to sniff too. Also a light touch around the bum hole with a finger helps me out too.

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