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  1. Trying new things

    1482421784
    Sanyogreen202 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    I'm an open guy but l really find it had to talk sexual things with my gf, when l try to talk about trying new things she's shy or just says whatever you want: is it generally she doesn't have any fantasies or she doesn't want to talk them through with me? You

    1482422168
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6524
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    I'm sure she has fantasies or things that she wants to try, but she might be cautious of your reaction, unsure of whether she's ready to try these things out or simply want some of them to remain fantasies. Some people are naturally more held-back when discussing sex, it doesn't mean they don't want to talk about it, it can be that they just find it difficult.

    Why not browse the site together and ask her to pick some things out?

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    HappyHusband79 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 24
    • Joined: 11 Feb 2010

    I found my wife to be very similar for a long time and what natandtom says is bang on she found it very difficult talking about it openly not just her me too. so what happened with us is i slowly started sending her naughty text very tame too start slowly building up too more graphic msgs and sure enough over time our confidence grew especially over texts where we wasnt face to face with eachother. im talking a period of time but the results have been amazing and we would both agree our sex life has reached new heights and she has even shocked me with a few fantasies. im sure once trust is made she will open up. but here is a great place to start

    1482429552
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1737
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2015

    We cannot tell you if your gilfriend has no fantasies or if she doesnt want to talk to you about them. The only way youre going to find that out is if you talk to her. Communication is key regarding anything to do with sex. If shes going to fulfil any of her or your fantasies then trust is the first thing to establish between yourselves. Work on building up on that and making her feel comfortable about disucussing her kinks with you.

    🐼

    1482435019
    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 14 Dec 2013

    I don't believe that she doesn't have fantasies, I just think she may feel too shy or embarrassed to open up about it.

    Try talking to her about your fantasies first and see if that helps her talk about her own. Also, you could have her write them down or text them to you.

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    jimc123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 9
    • Joined: 21 Dec 2016

    My girlfriend is just the same with me. She tells me she wants me to be Mr Grey but she won't give me any hints or suggestions as to what she actually wants me to do lol it very frustrating.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5026
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    I agree with NatandTom - have a look through the site and see what sparks a reaction.

    But it's like the others have said too - communication really is the key.

    Good luck xxx

    1482453127
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3588
    • Joined: 29 Feb 2016

    I think it's possible to not have fantasies. Just because you have them doesn't mean everybody does. I've had fantasies the last year but not before that. If she says that she doesn't have any, it might be true. But I guess she might also be shy and have a hard time talking about them.

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1913
    • Joined: 13 Jan 2012

    To be honest, I didn't know I had any until later in life (mid 30's) I think I was very naive and was too busy in being a mum before that. I found it easier to share by writing them down as I was too embarrassed to talk about them. Then along came 50 shades of grey to extend my original fantasies 😜

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    Sanyogreen202 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    Guys honestly thank you for making things a bit clearer for me xx

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    I hope all the advice given has helped and you manage to communicate more about sex following this :) x

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    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 593
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    Same problem - me and my partner talk about those sorts of things through messages online - we are usually only sat on eirher side of the living room but she isn't comfortable about talking about it aloud in person as she lacks confidence in that department whereas I am very forward.

    Good luck 😀

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    cobra1987 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2013

    I think she has fantasies as every one has one. But I think she might be sky or mebe she does not know how you will react. I think mebe you should try to talk to here an see what happens I know it's hard but stick in there she will open up one time to you.

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    hornyleekbloke [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 165
    • Joined: 27 Dec 2012

    Sanyogreen202 wrote:

    I'm an open guy but l really find it had to talk sexual things with my gf, when l try to talk about trying new things she's shy or just says whatever you want: is it generally she doesn't have any fantasies or she doesn't want to talk them through with me? You

    I've found some women can be shy about their fantasies too. You need to provide an atmosphere of love and complete trust so she can feel safe enough to open up about them.

    How experienced is she sexually? With my OH, while she was experienced in 'traditional' sex, everything else was really a mystery to her.

    I got her to experiment by having the 'What have we both experienced in the past?' conversation. Some of the things I'd experienced really interested her, so we began to experiment that way.

    Something else I'd recommend is buying her a small, non-realistic vibrator, something like this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15342

    It's a nice and gentle place to start, and it's pink. Everyone loves pink right? You could introduce it while you're playing with her.

    With her saying whatever you want, it could be she just wants you to take the lead, and introduce her to new experiences.

    Perhaps try new positions with each other, and after, discuss what she liked and disliked.

    You never know, you might be about to unleash a sex monster like I did. It's rewarding as hell!

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