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  1. Bringing something up with my partner

    1482023845
    leeb16 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2011

    I partner says she is getting a little bored with are sex life. I have had fantasy but I am worried that she would say. It's the mother and son. I have done it before with an ex, and my partner knows that but when I brought it up before she said no. However it such a turn on for me. Do I dare bring it again?? I have asked her if she has any fantasies but all she said was no. Can that really be true??

    1482062359
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 512
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    It depends. If you brought it up recently, I'd say don't do it again, your partner might feel like your pressuring her. If it was a while ago, maybe you could sit down together outside of the bedroom (I.e in a non sexual context) and discuss sexual fantasies again. Although your partner says she has non, perhaps ask her if there's anything in bed she'd like to try? Perhaps some new toys, or a new position or location?

    Things I would suggest are sitting down and doing mojo upgrade questionnaire (its an online thing where you say what you would/would not like to do sexually, then your partner does it too, then it only shows you both the things you both said yes to: a great way to get ideas of new things to do in bed that you'd both be in to), or buying a sexy board game like monogomy to have some bedroom fun and learn a little more about each other.

    Probably the most important thing is to have an open and honest discussion about the sex you are having and what would make you both feel more for satisfied. Find out why your partner said she was bored with your sex life, and what she had in mind to spice things up. I'd step away from the idea of your specific fantasy if its a hard limit for your partner, but you could try and pull apart what it was about this particular role play that turned you on so much. If it was being submissive, you could encourage your partner to be more dominant without having the mother/son scenario, for example.

    Hope this is helpful.

    1482068354
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 216
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2014

    What Jezebella said.

    She says she's getting bored but then says she doesn't have any fantasies? Okay. You need to have an open and honest talk about her wants and needs, and yours too. She clearly has things she wants/likes/is curious about and is not getting in order for her to tell you that in the first place. Your mission is to get her to open up further and tell you what those things are, so you can both move forward from the same page.

    1482069100
    Kap_89 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 31 Dec 2015

    Do a sex survey you can put your own questions in hope this helps

    1482080973
    cobra1987 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2013

    Already good comments here but you know try role playing mebe your wife would be sexy nurse or mebe superhero outfit and try to play with fantasy but you need to know what she want's to do. Its hard I know but you just have site down and talk. Hope this helps

    1482082202
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6187
    • Joined: 18 Dec 2007

    Jezebella wrote:

    It depends. If you brought it up recently, I'd say don't do it again, your partner might feel like your pressuring her. If it was a while ago, maybe you could sit down together outside of the bedroom (I.e in a non sexual context) and discuss sexual fantasies again. Although your partner says she has non, perhaps ask her if there's anything in bed she'd like to try? Perhaps some new toys, or a new position or location?

    Things I would suggest are sitting down and doing mojo upgrade questionnaire (its an online thing where you say what you would/would not like to do sexually, then your partner does it too, then it only shows you both the things you both said yes to: a great way to get ideas of new things to do in bed that you'd both be in to), or buying a sexy board game like monogomy to have some bedroom fun and learn a little more about each other.

    Probably the most important thing is to have an open and honest discussion about the sex you are having and what would make you both feel more for satisfied. Find out why your partner said she was bored with your sex life, and what she had in mind to spice things up. I'd step away from the idea of your specific fantasy if its a hard limit for your partner, but you could try and pull apart what it was about this particular role play that turned you on so much. If it was being submissive, you could encourage your partner to be more dominant without having the mother/son scenario, for example.

    Hope this is helpful.

    +1 Great advice :) xx

    1482093979
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4874
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    Scorpius12 wrote:

    Jezebella wrote:

    It depends. If you brought it up recently, I'd say don't do it again, your partner might feel like your pressuring her. If it was a while ago, maybe you could sit down together outside of the bedroom (I.e in a non sexual context) and discuss sexual fantasies again. Although your partner says she has non, perhaps ask her if there's anything in bed she'd like to try? Perhaps some new toys, or a new position or location?

    Things I would suggest are sitting down and doing mojo upgrade questionnaire (its an online thing where you say what you would/would not like to do sexually, then your partner does it too, then it only shows you both the things you both said yes to: a great way to get ideas of new things to do in bed that you'd both be in to), or buying a sexy board game like monogomy to have some bedroom fun and learn a little more about each other.

    Probably the most important thing is to have an open and honest discussion about the sex you are having and what would make you both feel more for satisfied. Find out why your partner said she was bored with your sex life, and what she had in mind to spice things up. I'd step away from the idea of your specific fantasy if its a hard limit for your partner, but you could try and pull apart what it was about this particular role play that turned you on so much. If it was being submissive, you could encourage your partner to be more dominant without having the mother/son scenario, for example.

    Hope this is helpful.

    +1 Great advice :) xx

    Yep +2

    I would try concentrating on what she feels will spice things up first as she is the one saying things are boring - I am guessing she musdt have something in mind already.

    Hope you get some answers that suit you both xx

    1482100336
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1342
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    It doesn't have to be a race, quality decisions generally are thought out and leave everybody experiencing a win-win.

    Its far better that you both go together to a happy place, than one or the other being left in a place emotionally that's not good for ultimately, the pair of you. Open dialogue, garners respect, not necessarily agreement but at least an understanding of how and/or why one person has taken a given stance on something.

    Here's the rub, in agreeing to disagree about something, it still retains the respect required to explore other options/compromises that we may discover as a result of the original differences.

    I hope this helps.

    Mojo questionair is a great idea, something that we will do too

    1482110853
    glittergirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 278
    • Joined: 12 Aug 2011

    Try buy some love hove truth or dare cards their a great way of exploring likes dislikes and a dare would and in variety .
    there not in your face cards is a great little bit of fun but will let you learn alot about what she perfers etc.
    As for mum and son fantasy ...im not knocking you. each to own but having 5 young boys 10 9 5 3 and 9 months, i could never do that and would be actually quite horrified if someone wonted me too.
    Again your choice can i ask what about that it is you like? Im genuinely trying to understand.
    If she is uncomfortable with that i would leave it there .

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