• Wait! We think you’re in the US - Lovehoney.com is a better site for you.
    Shop there and get 10% off!
    United States Flag
    Go to Lovehoney.com
  1. Ok guys You doing it correctly or does OH secretly finish it off !!!!!

    1481506562
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 194
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    My wife and I have a fabulous sex life, and like to keep it exciting! So like a variety of toy's, sexy lingerie, outfits, but I often wondered maybe on the odd occasion that I maybe didn't satisfy my wife the way I should have.

    It never occurred to me that my OH might have to finish the job that I should have done in the first place, as we are in a very amazing place and can talk openly. Expressing our likes and dislikes. But when it all of a sudden entered my head, that what if, on the odd occasion she plays with herself (wish I could have caught her in the act) to ensure she's reach her climax.

    Now I make sure that every time we make love or have crazy sex I do it correctly and then some, making sure her lags shake and she comes and comes!!!!!

    As my OH always says am a giver and I love to give...

    1481507913
    glittergirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 278
    • Joined: 12 Aug 2011

    Not sure what the response your looking for ??
    Are you asking others if they ever finish self of?? Or after appinons on giving receiving??
    Or how we feel about partners finishing of ??
    Wont to respond in correct way.

    1481531662
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1369
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    Doing it correctly?

    That's subjective, a few months ago I was perminantly on the point of finished off but never there due to medication, fine for a few day but beyond that time just knew I had to stop the meds. Even after 3 hours I still couldn't finish myself off.

    There are plenty of reasons why people finish themselves off, and not a perfomance issue of the OH, or yourself. My understanding is people climax in different ways as their mood takes them and are more reactive/in touch with their moods and the "finishing off" is as much an emotional response as it is a mechanical one. You only have to think of the ways of having sex as to how its gonna finish, if one of the people involved isn't quite where they need/want to be, then getting there may require self intervention.

    IF you are finding that your original post is happening to you and/or your OH and are worried by this, talk with them, knowing whats happening and why will help you, second guessing will continue to feed that worry.

    I hope this helps and makes sense.

    1481536582
    Tallish Darkish & Average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1770
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    I can see this thread is going in two directions so I'm going to try and give two answers:

    Firstly, more recently our sex life has improved we have regular sex that could he anything from a spur of the moment quickie to a pre planned, full on session born out of saucy texts/mails over the course of the working day. Of these encounters we very rarely have problems, I experienced a short ED episode a few months back which appears to have (thankfully) buggered off!

    I'd say 8/10 times we both "finish" the act whether it had been a 5-10 min quickie or not. Yes I occasionally get overexcited. I've had the odd false start & had to pay "lip service" if you will to get the job done and, on other occasions similar has happened with her.
    She has been over stimulated to a point that she can't take anymore and I occasionally have to perform a "manual shutdown!".

    Personally I think this above is fairly normal practice, I may be wrong.

    However, scenario two:

    If you are consistently finding one of you unsatisfactory pleased following your session it would be wise to find out for why. A few months back we were in a similar situation where Mrs LUC was receiving all the attention prior to me getting my bit at the end. Now, much as I love and don't mind pleasing my wife I did want a bit of play, action and attention myself and, did feel on occasions unsatisfied following orgasm.

    Talking through what we were and weren't doing really helped and now we do have (IMO) a better and probably more active and experimental sexual life.

    Sorry for the long post but I hope this answers the questions!

    1481550043
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1317
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    SOmetimes hubby "finishes" but I don't . Sometimes he finishes me off but sometimes he forgets and I'm too polite to finish myself off.

    1481550622
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3588
    • Joined: 29 Feb 2016

    I'm going to respond to your title. Just because I masturbate on my own, it doesn't mean that my OH isn't doing his job "well enough". Some women have higher sex drives, might be too tired to have sex but would just like to orgasm and their OH might not be home when they feel horny. A person is not doing their job badly if their partner masturbates, it's just normal to still matsurbate while still in a relationship....

    1481616130
    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1913
    • Joined: 13 Jan 2012

    There have been plenty of times that oh has made me orgasm but after he's fell asleep I fancy it again even if I've reached orgasm multiple times during a session. So I indulge in solo play 😊

    Very rarely does it happen that I don't reach orgasm (my oh used to roll over and go to sleep) now he realises how selfish he was and always ensures I'm fulfilled before sleeping.

    If you do find out your oh indulged in some solo play don't worry about it, us women can keep on going and going 😃

    1482189254
    Pomlady [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 2 Nov 2016

    Sxleksaker wrote:

    I'm going to respond to your title. Just because I masturbate on my own, it doesn't mean that my OH isn't doing his job "well enough". Some women have higher sex drives, might be too tired to have sex but would just like to orgasm and their OH might not be home when they feel horny. A person is not doing their job badly if their partner masturbates, it's just normal to still matsurbate while still in a relationship....

    I'm the same sxleksaker I masterbate on my own or use my toys to reach an orgasm at least every day I have a much higher sex drive than my husband but I don't always orgasm during sex and sometimes my husband doesn't always cum during sex but we have now started finishing ourselves off together which is amazing for us to do as my husband has always been a bit shy to do anything other than just sex.he knows I masterbate and use my toys he has bought me toys to use and he now enjoys watching me.

    1482970850
    LilMissRachel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 54
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2015

    We have number of situations to answer the question!

    Most of the time, like 90%, we finish together but on the odd occaisions that he's cum and I didn't get my orgasm, I will go to the bathroom to clean up and finish myself off. Often he's OK when he has cum once and can fall asleep pretty quickly and I will masturbate for another orgasm.

    This is when we are together but often he is away and I work from home so masturbate frequently on my own also.

    1483569172
    oneofthesedays [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 23 Dec 2012

    You really don't have to be 'doing it wrong' for your partner not to be getting off. I have trauma issues that make it really hard for me to get off during partnered sex no matter what my partner is doing. I also now have medication that's making it even more difficult.

    My partner's doing everything right, and by 'everything' I'm including respecting the fact that 9/10 times he's not going to be able to get me to orgasm.

    Just my thoughts, for what they're worth :)

    1483571564
    ToGildALily [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 142
    • Joined: 24 May 2016

    With my bed buddy it has been pretty level as sometimes he's been tired, I've been tired or I'm just finding that maybe one time I will orgasm with oral or other times it will be through penetrative sex and he's the same. I don't worry too much about the end result as if I stress too much about it I don't relax and get nowhere!

    In times where sex isn't getting either one of us anywhere then we just cuddle, massage, just relax together and enjoy each other's company. Sometimes that is all it takes is to enjoy the moment and not think or worry about racing to the end. We both know we do our own thing when we don't see each other and that's ok and in a way the way I see it, if I can think about what it is that pleases me then I can show him another time and the same for him. That's one way to look upon masturbation as finding out what gets you and share that with your partner.

    1483755960
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 194
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    My Mr OH posted this thread and believe me it wasn't through concern. He's just not interpretated it right. As he said (because I always tell him) he's a giver. His intention was a question not an insecurity. He constantly tells me (because he knows I do it) that he'd LOVE to catch me, unexpectantly, doing myself. He gets super turned on trying to look through my internet history to see what I've 'been up to" and what sites/categories I've been on lol. I delete my history deliberately, because I know his imagination drives him insane (naughty I know) and it's only down to knowing my man and keeping him on his toes! Excitement keeps it real and knowing what sets your OH off is such an advantage!

    The fact we've been together 25 yrs and married 13 with a beautiful boy says it all for me. If your OH still gives you butterflies and you are still super hot for them, in my book, lucky doesn't come close. Communication, chemistry and trust are what make the ultimate power couple.... Go us 👏

    1483789721
    cobra1987 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2013

    I think its ok as long as you both are happy and have active sex life. If your partner finishes you of or do it solo as long as your getting your orgasm and you are happy i would say everyone a winner. I know some people higher sex drive so if you do then keep going until you are happy.

    1483791764
    naughty stacey [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 28 Aug 2012

    It entered your head 'what if' and then left that question hanging.

    So: What if she is having a play by herself afterwards sometimes?

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.