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  1. Ask the Expert: Bondage and Better Sex!

    1489688107
    Jwarren94 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 26 Jul 2015

    Hi,

    It may have been answered but my boyfriend and I wanna start using rope during foreplay and the main event (aha). I've been taught a few knots and tips, but I was wondering if you know the best place to learn the correct knots.


    Thank youuuu ❤

    1491325141
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1523
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    Jess,
    Have Lovehoney stopped selling handcuffs without the quick release? I am not sure if the safety ones have the same effect on one's psychology. I can understand the need for safety but having a lock which does not lock seems odd?

    AYW

    1491384127
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1523
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    Bump.

    1491384269
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2273
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Hey 

    If you ever need an answer before our experts can get to the forum, don't forget you can ask our Customer Care team too on Livechat. It is 24/7 :) 

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/contact-us/

    1491385821
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1523
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    Thanks Leanne,
    It was not urgent but was dropping down the forum list so I thought Jess might not see.
    AYW

    1491495653
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2148
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    Hey AYW

    Sorry for the tardy reply! 

    I'm afraid the double locking handcuffs have been discontinued and we don't currently have any lockable restraints (I believe!) 

    If you've seen some you'd like us to stock, please do pop them on the Pander to me thread :) 

    1491495922
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1523
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    Thanks Jess,

    Not tardy. There was no rush really. I am not sure in the point of cuffs that don't lock but I can understand the problems too. I have a steel anniversary coming up and thought part of the fun presents could have been handcuffs.

    AYW

    1491496008
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2148
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    Jwarren94 wrote:

    Hi,

    It may have been answered but my boyfriend and I wanna start using rope during foreplay and the main event (aha). I've been taught a few knots and tips, but I was wondering if you know the best place to learn the correct knots.


    Thank youuuu ❤

    Hi Jwarren94

    Sorry for my slow reply! 

    Firstly, I only ever recommend knot-based bondage for those who are experiened with some bondage play. For newbies not being able to untie a knot can be pretty scary, so only explore this if you're both ready. 

    If you are ready then you'll need to invest in some good quality, soft bondage rope which doesn't stretch. I recommend choosing something with marked tips so you can find the ends easily during play. 

    And also buy yourself some safety scissors just in case you need to cut one of you free. DO NOT use regular scissors as these could lead to a nasty cut or even a stab wound. 

    Then I highly recommend checking out these two books. 

    The Toybag Guide to Basic Bondage Knots

    Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes << THIS one is especially brilliant. Lots of pics and step-by-step instructions for each knot that are really easy to follow. 

    As always, take is slow, communicate and set up a safety word before you try this. 

    Have fun! 

    1491496380
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2148
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    Letthefunbegin wrote:

    Hi Jess,

    Me and my oh have been experimenting with bondage for a little while and she loves me being in control. We have bed restraints, handcuffs, blindfolds, gags, nipple clamps etc which we quite often use. I quite often tie her to the bed and tease her and get her right to the point she is going to cum and then stop.

    My question is what would you recommend introducing next? Thought about wax candles but doesn't really appeal to us. It's not that we are bored of what we do it's just nice to bring new things into play.

    Hi Letthefunbegin

    Sorry for missing your post! 

    Well, the world is your oyster. Wax play can be a lot of fun if you get the right kind of candles, but if you already enjoy clamping and teasing you might like to introduce a clit clamp, a pussy pump or nipple suckers. 

    If you're not too sure whether these are for you, check out the Lovehoney YouTube channel: I've done a video on both topics on my playlist, Bondage Gone Wilde

    Spanking is another great way to amp up anticipation and heighten teasing. It doesn't have to be painful if you don't want it to be and you can customise this kind of play easily. 

    If you want something softer, teasing the skin with a feather tickler or a satin tie whilst your partner wears a blindfold can be SUCH a teasing experience. 

    Alternatively you can look outside of the bondage toys and tease using other sex toys like vibrators, dildos and anal toys or experiment with temperature play using cool and warm sex toys. 

    Have fun! 

    1497967324
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2148
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    *Bump*

    1503310371
    Toomean [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 17 Aug 2017

    Hey I could use some help. The wife and I are going to try some bondage but after 28 years niether of us will go sub. Concede control for the evening maybe. Old and ornery isn't helping the boys in the basement any. Any ideas? I can tie her up, spank her. etc...but try to put a collar on her...not happening.

    1503317074
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2148
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    Toomean wrote:

    Hey I could use some help. The wife and I are going to try some bondage but after 28 years niether of us will go sub. Concede control for the evening maybe. Old and ornery isn't helping the boys in the basement any. Any ideas? I can tie her up, spank her. etc...but try to put a collar on her...not happening.

    Hi Toomean

    I have a few questions: 

    Firstly, if your wife allows you to restrain and spank her, she has submitted. Why do you say neither of you will go sub?

    Are you wanting more submission from your wife? If so, what would improve for you if your wife let you put a collar on her, or she submitted more regularly? 

    Do you submit to her, too? 

    Sorry if I'm being dense, but what is 'old and ornery'? 

    What ideas are you looking for? What is your goal? 

    ***

    When it comes to a collar: it's not a toy for everyone. Just because your wife allows you to use some bondage toys on her, doesn't mean she'll be happy to try everything. This may be a 'hard limit' for her (an area she is not willing or interested in trying, which is everyone's right.)

    (Think of it this way: Imagine you knew a friend who only liked mild cheeses like cream cheese: I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to learn that they find stilton too strong and dislike it. It sounds to me like a bondage collar is your wife's 'stilton' aka her hard limit.) 

    All sex play should be completely consensual (and that means consent is given freely, without pressure and is free to be taken away at any moment) and never is this more important than with BDSM play as there are more risks and mind games at play. Discussing with your wife what you'd like to try, why, and how you feel it would improve both of your sex lives and relationship are super-important. 

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