• Ask the Expert: Bondage and Better Sex!

    1481616383
    ToysForDays [sign in to see picture]
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    What would be your personal opinion on which lube is the best to use for anal sex ? Thanks

    1481716741
    stewty [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    Lisa88 wrote:

    Hey what would u recommend for a beginner in bondage I have used handcuffs before but that's about it x

    Hi Lisa88

    To begin with, I would recommend building a small set of beginner-friendly products you can use together. My top products to go for would be:

    - A blindfold. Non-intimidating. Easy to use and SO effective for making your skin extra sensitive. Something like http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28736.

    - Velcro-fastened wrist / ankle cuffs. Something http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30718with soft material and quick-release clips is perfect.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31013 for making use of that sensitive skin.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33625. Use it like a feather tickler to trace the skin and only spank if you want to.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34277. Looks scary. Feels AMAZING!

    Other than that your best bet is to explore the http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/bondage-for-beginners/ category for inspiration :)

    Happy experimenting!

    Thanks Lisa88 for the question, and Jess for the answer. I came to this thread to ask the same question but thought someone would have asked! 😀
    1481822590
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    rocky1 wrote:

    Hi Jess

    my wife and I bought the lovehoney beginners strap on harness with the 5in dildo and have enjoyed using it.

    The only issue we have is that the only position we seem to be able to use is me lying flat on my stomach with my wife lying on top of me.

    The penetration she gets is good but because I am lying flat it makes it difficult for me to play with myself.

    Any ideas on how we can improve on positions and any suggestions on larger suitable dildos?

    my wife is a plus size if that makes a difference

    thanks in advance.

    Hi rocky1

    Can you tell me a little bit more? What factors mean you can only enjoy the strap on you have in the flat/face down position? 

    Have you tried being on all fours, or raising your bottom slightly? 

    With a bit more information, I'm sure I can offer you some ideas :) 

    1481823051
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    ToysForDays wrote:

    What would be your personal opinion on which lube is the best to use for anal sex ? Thanks

    Hey ToysForDays

    Oooh - this is a tricky question as lube is such a personal preference thing. 

    Generalised tips are to go for something thick, and long lasting. If you like water-based lube, then go for a lube formulated specifically for anal play: an anal lube. 

    Anal lubes which we sell by the bucket load (almost literally) are the Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lube and Maximus Anal Lubricant. Check out the reviews for first-hand experiences.

    Alternatively, if you're looking for a lube for anal sex or non-silicone sex toys, then a silicone-based lube can be the way to go. Silicone lubes are reeaaally long lasting and aren't as thick as water-based anal lubes. This can be nice for anal as it's less gloopy and won't require re-lubing mid-play. You might like to check out the Lovehoney Slick Silicone Lube and Sliquid Silver Silicone Lube. Just remember you can't use silicone lube with silicone toys (but you can use it in the bath or shower as it's waterproof, and it's condom compatible)

    I hope that helps! 

    1481823160
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    stewty wrote:

    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    Lisa88 wrote:

    Hey what would u recommend for a beginner in bondage I have used handcuffs before but that's about it x

    Hi Lisa88

    To begin with, I would recommend building a small set of beginner-friendly products you can use together. My top products to go for would be:

    - A blindfold. Non-intimidating. Easy to use and SO effective for making your skin extra sensitive. Something like http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28736.

    - Velcro-fastened wrist / ankle cuffs. Something http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30718with soft material and quick-release clips is perfect.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31013 for making use of that sensitive skin.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33625. Use it like a feather tickler to trace the skin and only spank if you want to.

    - A http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34277. Looks scary. Feels AMAZING!

    Other than that your best bet is to explore the http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/bondage-for-beginners/ category for inspiration :)

    Happy experimenting!

    Thanks Lisa88 for the question, and Jess for the answer. I came to this thread to ask the same question but thought someone would have asked! 😀

    Haha - that's brilliant! What a happy coincidence! 

    1482111871
    good at being bad [sign in to see picture]
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    HI Jess

    I find I cum very quickly whereas my OH is very slow to cum. Normally by the time I've orgasmed a couple of times I'm tired and too sensitive to go on and he's not even close. I've tried to explain the things he does that make me cum straight away so he could avoid doing them but that didn't work he still keeps doing them, and he often says oh you haven't cum already have you which makes me feel quite embarrassed. Plus it would be nice to be able to finish together, or at least closer together.

    If I cut out all the waffle what I'm asking is is there anything that would make me less sensitive that wouldn't affect him too, or anything to make me be able to keep going for longer?

    Thanks for your advice.

    1482160166
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    Jess is taking some well earned time off and will be back to answer your Bondage & Better Sex questions in the new year. :D

    1483965542
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    good at being bad wrote:

    HI Jess

    I find I cum very quickly whereas my OH is very slow to cum. Normally by the time I've orgasmed a couple of times I'm tired and too sensitive to go on and he's not even close. I've tried to explain the things he does that make me cum straight away so he could avoid doing them but that didn't work he still keeps doing them, and he often says oh you haven't cum already have you which makes me feel quite embarrassed. Plus it would be nice to be able to finish together, or at least closer together.

    If I cut out all the waffle what I'm asking is is there anything that would make me less sensitive that wouldn't affect him too, or anything to make me be able to keep going for longer?

    Thanks for your advice.

    Hi good at being bad

    Thanks for your patience while I've been off! 

    I think first and foremost you need to communicate all of this really clearly to him. Tell him how it makes you feel when he assumes you haven't cum, and explain that you don't actually want him to keep making you climax as it makes it unenjoyable in the long run. A lot of guys who have delayed ejaculation (an ejaculatory issue which is almost as common as premature ejaculation) think that they must be "sex gods" in the eyes of women because they keep on going, but that is not the case, Particularly if you get to the point where you're not having fun. Sex is supposed to be fun, right?! And let's not forget that "too sensitive" can become "painful" very quickly. If you're bf cares about you, I'm sure he would hate to think he's causing you anything close to pain, particularly during such an intimate and special act. 

    So number 1: talk to him and explain all of this to him.

    Secondly, you can talk about physical options you can do to try and level your climax timeline. Perhaps start foreplay on him first so he's close before he even gets to touching you? 

    He can use a penis pump or a stimulating gel before play to make him more sensitive. 

    If he's open to anal play, a prostate massaging butt plug will speed up his ejaculation to no end. 

    Ideally I don't feel like you should be looking for anything to numb yourself - unless of course you climax particularly quickly and would like the build up to last longer for YOU. If you're just looking to numb yourself for his benefit / so it's less uncomfortable, then that's not really a situation you should put yourself in. Again - NO sex should be painful, and numbing yourself physically won't change the psychological effect doing this can have on you, and your relationship. 

    If you DO want to reduce sensitivity for YOU then I would recommend taking a look at some delay solutions. They may be aimed at men, but they still work on women. Just make sure there are no sugars or any other ingredients in there which are not female friendly in it before you use it.

    I hope that helps! 

    1484147437
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    I am going to make myself look pretty silly here I think!

    The Purple Reins Bondage Mat

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36852

    How exactly does this work? Does the mat get strapped down in some way? If it just lays on the floor, then surely whoever is restrained can just curl up into it.

    Forgive me if I've missed something obvious here, but I just don't get it!!

    Xxx

    1484153083
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    I am going to make myself look pretty silly here I think!

    The Purple Reins Bondage Mat

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36852

    How exactly does this work? Does the mat get strapped down in some way? If it just lays on the floor, then surely whoever is restrained can just curl up into it.

    Forgive me if I've missed something obvious here, but I just don't get it!!

    Xxx

    Hey lovingnewtoys

    Ahh - I see we have missed a kind of important piece of information on the description which I will now go and add. 

    Basically, the top and bottom of the mat are rigid, to stop you being able to curl up :)

    1484154044
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Jess, would that purple reins mat be suitable for wax play? Like could you easiiy peel off candle wax from it and wipe it down without damaging it?

    1484155912
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    JM88 wrote:

    Jess, would that purple reins mat be suitable for wax play? Like could you easiiy peel off candle wax from it and wipe it down without damaging it?

    Hi JM88

    Hmm, now that's a tough question. 

    The mat is made from Nylon so does feature some texture which could "hold" wax. The purple sections are much more textured than the black parts, but I'm still not 100% convinced that wax would peel off of the black parts either. 

    Long answer short is, I don't really know :/ 

    If you're concerned about getting wax on the mat,I woulcd suggest laying a PVC sheet (or something similar) between your partner and the mat itself.

    Sorry I can't be more certain.

    1484155989
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    I am going to make myself look pretty silly here I think!

    The Purple Reins Bondage Mat

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36852

    How exactly does this work? Does the mat get strapped down in some way? If it just lays on the floor, then surely whoever is restrained can just curl up into it.

    Forgive me if I've missed something obvious here, but I just don't get it!!

    Xxx

    Hey lovingnewtoys

    Ahh - I see we have missed a kind of important piece of information on the description which I will now go and add.

    Basically, the top and bottom of the mat are rigid, to stop you being able to curl up :)

    Yay - I wasn't being a complete numpty then!!!

    Thanks xx

    1484157462
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    I am going to make myself look pretty silly here I think!

    The Purple Reins Bondage Mat

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36852

    How exactly does this work? Does the mat get strapped down in some way? If it just lays on the floor, then surely whoever is restrained can just curl up into it.

    Forgive me if I've missed something obvious here, but I just don't get it!!

    Xxx

    Hey lovingnewtoys

    Ahh - I see we have missed a kind of important piece of information on the description which I will now go and add.

    Basically, the top and bottom of the mat are rigid, to stop you being able to curl up :)

    Yay - I wasn't being a complete numpty then!!!

    Thanks xx

    No, not at all!

    In fact the original design which our manufacturer sent us was completely soft and so didn't restrain at all. 

    I flagged it up and we had it sent back for a re-design with a stiff top and bottom.

    You should have seen Annabelle in the old design: She strapped herself into it on the floor, stood up and walked around (she looked like a flying squirrel!). So clearly, it was pretty pants before! 

    1484182757

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Hi jess,

    I blether on constantly about my lack of ability to make decisions. So I'm really, really wanting a whip but can not choose. I do have my eyes on the fsog one because of the appearance and the fact the range is immense.

    Other than that I'd iike it to deliver a good sharp sting, quite fancy faux/leather as aposed to other materials.

    Your expertise would be greatly appreciated 😘💖xx

    1484218516
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Hi jess,

    I blether on constantly about my lack of ability to make decisions. So I'm really, really wanting a whip but can not choose. I do have my eyes on the fsog one because of the appearance and the fact the range is immense.

    Other than that I'd iike it to deliver a good sharp sting, quite fancy faux/leather as aposed to other materials.

    Your expertise would be greatly appreciated 😘💖xx

    Hey SB

    When you say whip, do you mean an actual whip? Which Fifty Shades one have you been eyeing up? We only sell FSoG floggers, crops and paddles. 

    It's difficult to advise which is the best impact tool specifically for you as it's so subjective. Also, it depends what you want to spend. 

    If you're specifically looking for a whip, then no matter what you choose it will sting. Something like this or this would be good for you. 

    Failing that, I would suggest choosing a crop with a narrow tip, a cane or an advanced flogger like this.

    Sorry - that sort of still leaves you with some decisions to make! 

    1485953807

    [suspended user]

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    Hi Jess,

    Sorry for the confusion, I got caught up in the excitement of discussing spanking implements lol. What I was looking for is a flogger as they're more aesthetically pleasing on the eye imho.

    The fifty shades one I was looking at was the £19:99 beginners flogger (I'd almost convinced myself that it's suitable for intimidiate users. Lol 😂)

    I was looking at spending upto £20 give-or-take for one. I've been looking non-stop for awhile and have came up with several options which look perfect for my desires.

    There's the bondage boutique faux leather flogger -52092

    The domonix deluxe leather flogger -68217


    This isn't leather or faux leather but it's absolutely stunning and it's also advanced so I'm contemplating it, bondage boutique advanced extra long suede flogger -17869


    Thanks for your response it didn't confuse me in the slightest infact I found it very helpful 👌

    Sorry for the delay in responding to your post I'd completely forgotten until just now 👍😙💜xx

    1488390214
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Jess

    Not really a bondage question, but I thought this would be the best place to ask you a question directly.

    Did you try these

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37610

    If so, how did you get on with them?

    Xxx

    1488892757
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Hi Jess

    Not really a bondage question, but I thought this would be the best place to ask you a question directly.

    Did you try these

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37610

    If so, how did you get on with them?

    Xxx

    Hey lovingnewtoys 

    I do have these and have tried them on, but haven't tried them with stockings yet to see how they hold. 

    First impressions are good though, and they are super-adjustable for a good fit. I wore mine higher up my leg than in the model shot, though.

    1489684595
    Letthefunbegin [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Jess,

    Me and my oh have been experimenting with bondage for a little while and she loves me being in control. We have bed restraints, handcuffs, blindfolds, gags, nipple clamps etc which we quite often use. I quite often tie her to the bed and tease her and get her right to the point she is going to cum and then stop.

    My question is what would you recommend introducing next? Thought about wax candles but doesn't really appeal to us. It's not that we are bored of what we do it's just nice to bring new things into play.

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