sir cums a little

hi guys im new on the forum and i have a situation,

iv been with my partner for 5 years and the sex is great and he always make sure im comfortable but iv recently noticed i cant orgasm with out using a vibrator on my clitorus... which can take a while as i have to keep going until i do, if i dont my momentum goes and it takes even longer. So by the time i am ready to orgasm i cant because my partner has already cumed and it takes around two hours for him to get back into sex after a work day, which means im left high and dry. And i did something stupid when we first met because i thought i was weird and couldnt cum i faked them.. so now i dont know how to bring this up because he has been thinking iv been orgasming during sex since we met.

what can i do im so stressed by it all and i feel if i tell him he will get upset and i dont want that... so please help guys ( insert puppy face)

Hi there.

Could you start playing a little earlier than him to get the "motor running" or have a play alone earlier in the day before you see each other so that you have already had an orgasm?

I usually take ages to orgasm and need clitoral stimulation too so I head off to the bedroom before my OH to get myself warmed up with a toy and fingers first and then he comes along to join in with foreplay after about 10 min. It seems to work for us so it might be worth a try.

Personally I would understand, if a partner admitted this to me; but I know many guys can get sensitive over this issue. Only you know him well eneough too know how he would take it; if you do feel you need to get this off your chest with him, I would suggest you wait for a quiet moment when you are cuddled up with him, and then let your feelings over this come to the top. Then let him know something is bothering you, non verbally.

When he says whats wrong sweet heart, say you think something has gone wrong with your abillity to orgasm, and it's freaking you out. Tell him it happened for the first time, the last couple of times you had sex, and you are even struggling to cum when you have played play alone since. And say, our sex is and always has been so very good, but what is making me feel even worse is that I, did something I feel ashamed of; I didn't know how to tell you, so I faked it, the last 2 times ( you don't need to tell him how long it's been like this, but it will be the truth of how you feel). I"m so sorry, will you please help me try and get things working again, I don't want to be like this, I'm scared.

I wish you well, and I do understand, and I feel this would let you get this out of your head without upsetting him. But it's your call, and how you feel about trying this.

Then you can take it from there.

I think the advice alone4ever has given here is spot on, I can't improve on it so I'll just throw in that I'm rooting for you xx

alone4ever wrote:

Personally I would understand, if a partner admitted this to me; but I know many guys can get sensitive over this issue. Only you know him well eneough too know how he would take it; if you do feel you need to get this off your chest with him, I would suggest you wait for a quiet moment when you are cuddled up with him, and then let your feelings over this come to the top. Then let him know something is bothering you, non verbally.

When he says whats wrong sweet heart, say you think something has gone wrong with your abillity to orgasm, and it's freaking you out. Tell him it happened for the first time, the last couple of times you had sex, and you are even struggling to cum when you have played play alone since. And say, our sex is and always has been so very good, but what is making me feel even worse is that I, did something I feel ashamed of; I didn't know how to tell you, so I faked it, the last 2 times ( you don't need to tell him how long it's been like this, but it will be the truth of how you feel). I"m so sorry, will you please help me try and get things working again, I don't want to be like this, I'm scared.

I wish you well, and I do understand, and I feel this would let you get this out of your head without upsetting him. But it's your call, and how you feel about trying this.

Then you can take it from there.

This sounds spot on to me.

Fun Louise wrote:

alone4ever wrote:

Personally I would understand, if a partner admitted this to me; but I know many guys can get sensitive over this issue. Only you know him well eneough too know how he would take it; if you do feel you need to get this off your chest with him, I would suggest you wait for a quiet moment when you are cuddled up with him, and then let your feelings over this come to the top. Then let him know something is bothering you, non verbally.

When he says whats wrong sweet heart, say you think something has gone wrong with your abillity to orgasm, and it's freaking you out. Tell him it happened for the first time, the last couple of times you had sex, and you are even struggling to cum when you have played play alone since. And say, our sex is and always has been so very good, but what is making me feel even worse is that I, did something I feel ashamed of; I didn't know how to tell you, so I faked it, the last 2 times ( you don't need to tell him how long it's been like this, but it will be the truth of how you feel). I"m so sorry, will you please help me try and get things working again, I don't want to be like this, I'm scared.

I wish you well, and I do understand, and I feel this would let you get this out of your head without upsetting him. But it's your call, and how you feel about trying this.

Then you can take it from there.

This sounds spot on to me.

+1 from me too.....great advice x

I also agree that alone4ever has given great advice :)

Sorry I didn't give you a very great reply. I really didn't know what to suggest with the faking it situation but I think alone4ever really nailed it and I hope that his advice will help you to get the problem sorted out.

However, I would still suggest having some play time all alone so that you can relax and get back into having an orgasm again in your own time as often feeling under pressure to perform and get it done as quickly as possible means that there is much less chance of you orgasming at all. Once you get back into it, reawaken your senses and know how and where you like to be touched hopefully you can then include it during sex, relax, enjoy the moment and get there with your partner and not have to fake it anymore. Good luck :)