1. Struggling to be dominating

    Fancypants300 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2015

    I'm seeing someone and he's keen for me to dominate him, get into bondage with him etc. Now in the past this has been something I'd loved doing, I was really confident about it, but a partner I was sleeping with just before this guy was REALLY dominating, so I took a sub role and its thrown me off. Now when I try to be dominating, even in all the get-up, i just choke my words and generally feel so uncomfortable. Does anyone have any advice for me? changing roles has really thrown me off!

    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 587
    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    I'm the sub too and that's how I love it but maybe you could watch some BDSM Clips and practice what they say! You could also ask him what he'd like to hear, but I would do this outside of the bedroom! Maybe make him wear a blindfold too so you feel less self conscious? X

    Twilightgirl123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 207
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2013

    I'm personally a switch and I find it easy to slip into both roles. I would ask him what sort of things he'd like to hear. This means you'll have a definite better idea of what to say without saying something he won't like. Always talk things through with each other to avoid miscommunication. Start off slow, just throwing some dirty talk in here and there. Build it up as you feel more comfortable. Also don't expect to be perfect at it straight away with a new partner. Everyone is different, one partner will love one thing and another could hate it. Just take things slow as it will take time for you both to be completely comfortable :)

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