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  1. when you cant be equal to a women who had normal life

    1463489011
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    It seems you just want to stick to your own way of thinking, and not listen to the lovely people trying to help you.

    Do you want to always feel so sad with your life, you sound like you have your self trapped in a depresive circle of negative thoughts. Only you can change the way you are thinking. and you seem to just keep talking your way back to being sad.

    1463489121
    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can only really say that if you spurt out nonsense about how a persons value to others is based on their age and sex life, and the absurdly sexist notion that you can't cope with a woman having a superior sexual history to you, quite frankly, I'm a little relieved you aren't motivated to find a poor woman to put up with that.

    1463489887
    KittenFeatures [sign in to see picture]
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    As someone who is within the 'young people' stereotype that you're trying to define, I feel like you have a very warped view of what my life and other young people's lives are like. I am 19 and I have never been to a sex party. I've never even heard of sex parties and no one here is about to have a sex party, do you know how quickly that would be shut down?

    Women can have as much sex as they like, but do you know what happens when you're a young girl in this society who loves to have a lot of sex with different people? You're branded a slut. Unfortunately young people are much happier to have men sleep around for fun but women, if they do it they are called sluts and they have much less worth to most people because they 'open their legs for anyone'. Hence why I think you're talking a bunch of rubbish. Basically it's a lot harder to be a young woman when it comes to having sex at the moment.

    Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago I majorly freaked out my boyfriend's best friend because I was making a lot of sexual jokes about a threesome with the two of them and my self. Why was he freaked out? Because he's not used to a girl being so sexual. Why was I making jokes? Because not a few nights before when they were out drinking they were discussing having a threesome with me without any issue whatsoever and I was not okay with that when I wasn't there.

    As someone who is in their 30s, you aren't judged based on your sex life and neither are women as much at that age. You're supposed to be mature adults. Besides, why is it you only care about sex? Do you know how old the last person I dated was..? 30. He was 30. He rarely ever wanted to have sex but he went out and partied all the time. Not for the sex, surprise surprise, but for the fun of it. People don't party to get laid these days. If you want to get laid people tend to know about it. And in all the movies, the people parting are usually at least 25. The last show I watched with a lot of partying involving sex, there was 1 character who was under 20, the rest were all over 30, one over 40.

    I think you're being generic and need to stop worrying so much. It really sounds like you've been dating the wrong women for the wrong reasons. Stop caring so much about what people did in the past. Every experience with another person is something new. It really doesn't matter what their sexual history is and if you care that much then maybe you shouldn't be looking for a relationship right now in the first place. There are so many women (lets stop calling grown women girls, please) out there that did not live their youth having lots of sex.

    And just to add, girls do porn for their own reasons. Lots of men do porn to. Porn is an entirely different world and I really don't think the girls in porn are about to become lovey dovey all over you. Porn isn't what it seems and it isn't as easy as it looks. A lot of the young girls end up having so many issues because they needed a way to make money. I'd look up the porn industry and find out why it isn't so great for young girls.

    1463490047
    KittenFeatures [sign in to see picture]
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    MK7 wrote:

    I can only really say that if you spurt out nonsense about how a persons value to others is based on their age and sex life, and the absurdly sexist notion that you can't cope with a woman having a superior sexual history to you, quite frankly, I'm a little relieved you aren't motivated to find a poor woman to put up with that.

    +10000

    1463490548

    [suspended user]

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    KittenFeatures wrote:

    Women can have as much sex as they like, but do you know what happens when you're a young girl in this society who loves to have a lot of sex with different people? You're branded a slut. Unfortunately young people are much happier to have men sleep around for fun but women, if they do it they are called sluts and they have much less worth to most people because they 'open their legs for anyone'. Hence why I think you're talking a bunch of rubbish. Basically it's a lot harder to be a young woman when it comes to having sex at the moment.

    Yes, this was maybe the case in the past. But lately its getting more and more acceptable and its a sign of a success, exactly like for men. And its good so, society is evolving.

    Movies like Love 3D, Nymphomaniac, Q Desire, Shortbus or Thirteen helped with that and show its ok to have a lof of sex. Why you think they make movies like this? Because this is the direction we need to go to be happy and they show what is happening out there. How society is evolving and getting more open and having more fun.

    In past if a friend called a girl slut it was insult. Today when she calls her a slut its like she would say you are a stud, and the girl laughs because she is proud.

    I talk with many girls on fetlife btw.

    1463490611
    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    Just want to say to all the kind people taking time to write thoughtful responses - there was a thread exactly the same as this one made by a member a few months ago. It got crazy out of hand and I would assume the person got banned. From what's being said and how it's written, I'm almost certain that same person has just made another account and that nothing anyone says will make this person think any differently, especially considering that this is at least their second go at this exact topic, months apart, and their opinions haven't shifted a jot.

    Didn't want people to be wasting their time if they didn't know the history on this, and also I think it will make it a lot easier for the lovely mods of the forum if people don't get dragged into this again because trying to discuss this topic turns out like banging your head against a wall and, understandably, everyone gets frustrated and it leads to problems.

    1463490854
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I know lots of girls who people have called sluts and they are really hurt by it. I come from a small town and there is a lot of shaming going on for girls that sleep around. This is definately not a thing in the past.

    And who gets proud for being called a slut? The word slut is definately not the same as being called a stud. I think you need a reality check.

    1463490862
    KittenFeatures [sign in to see picture]
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    sadman wrote:

    KittenFeatures wrote:

    Women can have as much sex as they like, but do you know what happens when you're a young girl in this society who loves to have a lot of sex with different people? You're branded a slut. Unfortunately young people are much happier to have men sleep around for fun but women, if they do it they are called sluts and they have much less worth to most people because they 'open their legs for anyone'. Hence why I think you're talking a bunch of rubbish. Basically it's a lot harder to be a young woman when it comes to having sex at the moment.

    Yes, this was maybe the case in the past. But lately its getting more and more acceptable and its a sign of a success, exactly like for men. And its good so, society is evolving.

    Movies like Love 3D, Nymphomaniac, Q Desire, Shortbus or Thirteen helped with that and show its ok to have a lof of sex.

    In past if a friend called a girl slut it was insult. Today when she calls her a slut its like she would say you are a stud, and the girl laughs because she is proud.

    I really don't feel like there's a comparison between the word stud and the word slut. Whether you like it or not, there aren't a lot of women out there that enjoy being called a slut by a stranger. I wouldn't appreciate it from someone that doesn't know me and I don't think many other women would.

    But let me be more understanding than that. There are women out there that do enjoy it and get a thrill out of it. I do - with my partner. No one else. But it is certainly still used to degrade women. I've rarely ever heard someone called a slut when being praised. I love sex personally but I'd rather be called a nympho than a slut.

    It's perfectly fine to have a lot of sex but it wasn't so long ago that I was called a slut because I was having sex with my boyfriend a lot. And that was by someone that was supposed to be a friend but turned around and said a lot of hateful things about me so I removed her from my life.

    You definitely want to get to know a woman before you date them, I get it. But don't be offended if a woman has had more or less sex than you. It isn't going to change anythinig for the future and the women I know would only be insulted that you care so much about their past.

    1463491266

    [suspended user]

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    The past defines us in our present. Gives us value in our present, things we have done in past. So its important you have done at least all the normal things as others.

    If not, how can you be on a level of cute women, who had it all in life. She will be always superior to you and its useless then to be with her, because she can always say to your face, i had more fun in life then you.

    1463491501
    KittenFeatures [sign in to see picture]
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    sadman wrote:

    The past defines us in our present. Gives us value in our present, things we have done in past. So its important you have done at least all the normal things as others.

    If not, how can you be on a level of cute women, who had it all in life. She will be always superior to you and its useless then to be with her, because she can always say to your face, i had more fun in life then you.

    The past doesn't define us at all. I've had things happen in my past that have no relevence to anything today. The present defines us. First impressions, lasting friendships. If you live everyday focusing on yesterday, you're missing out really.

    No one has it all in life, by the way. Simple as. And people are so different in this world that one person's idea of fun is another person's idea of hell. For example, some people love skydiving. I cannot stand the idea. So have they had more fun than me? No, because I get just the same amount of thrills from my daughter who lifts my spirits far more than a plane ever could.

    There is no normal. I think that's something you're missing.

    1463491900

    [suspended user]

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    KittenFeatures wrote:

    sadman wrote:

    The past defines us in our present. Gives us value in our present, things we have done in past. So its important you have done at least all the normal things as others.

    If not, how can you be on a level of cute women, who had it all in life. She will be always superior to you and its useless then to be with her, because she can always say to your face, i had more fun in life then you.

    The past doesn't define us at all. I've had things happen in my past that have no relevence to anything today. The present defines us. First impressions, lasting friendships. If you live everyday focusing on yesterday, you're missing out really.

    No one has it all in life, by the way. Simple as. And people are so different in this world that one person's idea of fun is another person's idea of hell. For example, some people love skydiving. I cannot stand the idea. So have they had more fun than me? No, because I get just the same amount of thrills from my daughter who lifts my spirits far more than a plane ever could.

    There is no normal. I think that's something you're missing.

    Do you see skydiving in every movie and most of the posts on facebook? No. Do you see sex in almost every movie and media? Do you see young people posting on facebook where they are going, what they are aliving? Yes. This shows what is standard and what you must do.

    1463492130
    KittenFeatures [sign in to see picture]
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    sadman wrote:

    KittenFeatures wrote:

    sadman wrote:

    The past defines us in our present. Gives us value in our present, things we have done in past. So its important you have done at least all the normal things as others.

    If not, how can you be on a level of cute women, who had it all in life. She will be always superior to you and its useless then to be with her, because she can always say to your face, i had more fun in life then you.

    The past doesn't define us at all. I've had things happen in my past that have no relevence to anything today. The present defines us. First impressions, lasting friendships. If you live everyday focusing on yesterday, you're missing out really.

    No one has it all in life, by the way. Simple as. And people are so different in this world that one person's idea of fun is another person's idea of hell. For example, some people love skydiving. I cannot stand the idea. So have they had more fun than me? No, because I get just the same amount of thrills from my daughter who lifts my spirits far more than a plane ever could.

    There is no normal. I think that's something you're missing.

    Do you see skydiving in every movie and most of the posts on facebook? No. Do you see sex in almost every movie and media? Do you see young people posting on facebook where they are going, what they are aliving? Yes. This shows what is standard and what you must do.

    I don't understand. Why do I have to do that because Facebook told me to? I don't want to go abroad. I don't want to go skydiving. I do see a lot of normal diving, I have a relative who does it as a regular hobby, so there are things I see and have no desire to do.

    And I'm not going to be seeing sex in any movies any time soon. The movies I watch are on for my daughter. Disney movies, to be precise. I see a lot of cats. I see a lot of monters. I see a lot of birds and princesses. I'm not about to become a princess any time soon and my facebook feed is all over the place about every other thing.

    It's not a great argument, by the way. Facebook actually tailors what you see to what it thinks you want to see based on your likes and interests. So it isn't the media and the world that is all about sex, it's you. Facebook has learned that you want to see that stuff and has tailored what you want to see based on your history. Thats how it works.

    1463492464
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    You have such warped views. And need some new Facebook friends by the looks of it. Most of mine talk about climbing mountains, charity work and skydiving.

    The idea that to be a worthwhile person you need to have a lot of sex when you're young is ridiculous.

    I'm 21 and have an an amazing life, I've seen beautiful places, climbed mountains, jumped out of a plane and I plan to do a million more things. I have had sex with thee people, have never got so drunk I can't remember what happened, don't go clubbing, don't have one night stands.
    Does this mean I'm a lesser person? No.
    Does this mean I'm a better person? No.
    Your ideas of sex and society are disgusting. I don't know if you're actually being serious because I can't believe how warped your ideas are. Because you see sex in films sex is the goal of life? Or maybe you see sex in films because you watch films with sex in them.
    I've never seen any of those films you mentioned.
    Maybe the reason you have these warped ideas is not because of society but because this is what you think.
    To judge a woman on her sexual past is ridiculous and certainly won't get you a relationship.
    But you don't want a relationship. You want notches on your bed post and to be able to brag about how many women you've had. That's a very sad goal.
    You're set to lead a very boring, unfulfilled and lonely life because you can't get your head out of the idea that you need to have sex as much as possible as quickly as possible

    1463492672
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey , 

    I think the OP has been given some great advise and some fab feedback.

    We all have different opinions and views on normality , but what is normal.. really ...

    Thank you all for offering such great advise ! sadman , I hope some of this helps you. 

    Please do take a moment to take some of this on board as you have been offered some great feedback here.

    Let's not let this get heated , a good debate is great but feelings are involved too. We are all different and it would be a boring world if we was all the same , doing the same and playing to what society 'expects' of us. 

    Thanks again all for the input 

    1463493735
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry, I see my post is very harsh.

    1463494104
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    I will close this thread now as the OP has had a lot of feedback and as Skitty has pointed out this topic was covered before.

    Thank you all again for offering the advise you have 

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