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  1. Newbie to BJs

    Mebby [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 7 Apr 2016

    So my boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half, he's my first proper relationship and has been lovely and patient about my shyness in the bedroom. I'm still not great at initiating sex, I don't really know how to expressing that I'm in the mood - sexiness does not come naturally to me!

    My thing is, I've never given oral before and I'm weird about things in my mouth - be it fingers, people feeding me or anything.. But I want to reciprocate the oral and I'm determined to do it.

    I just don't know how to do it though and am paranoid about my teeth and hurting him.. Also my wrists are so weak so positions where I'm on top kill so I don't know what would be the best place to be.

    my boyfriend is so nice about it and after asking if I'd want to and talking about it a bit, he understands how I feel and isn't pressuring me at all. The pressure is all coming from me and I just want to get over my nerves and do it, see if I like it or not!

    Emilyyy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 19 Mar 2015

    I think the most important thing with it is to act like you are confident/enjoying giving it. I have this problem with my boyfriend aswell that I am not sure what I am doing but I can tell when Im really looking like Im enjoying giving it to him he gets off to it more!
    Sorry if this isnt much help!

    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7139
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Get this book .It will be of great help to you.

    Oral Sex He'll Never Forget by Sonia Borg

    It should be available from Lovehoney as that is were I bought my Mrs' a copy.

    There are plenty of diagrams and pictures which is far better than us trying to describe what to do.


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3319
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2015

    Hi and welcome
    I've just written a huge reply but realised it would be too much information on here, and I wouldn't want to break the rules.
    I agree about the confidence, also enjoy yourself. The best thing I can say is take your time, don't go straight in, give attention to other areas too.
    I've not read the book recommended but if mysteron recommendats it then it'll be worth it, as he's great with advice .
    You could also watch some bj porn together and find out what does it for him. Hope that helps a bit hunni 💜xx

    mamz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1807
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2016

    slinky binky wrote:

    You could also watch some bj porn together and find out what does it for him. Hope that helps a bit hunni 💜xx

    I don't agree with the blowjob porn, I think it would only add some pressure on yourself and you don't need that. Don't have in mind that there is a right way and a wrong way to give a bj, there is no such thing. People like different things and there is so many possibles ways to please someone, so don't think that the fact that you have never done it means that you are going to do it badly.

    Don't put pressure on yourself, only do it if you are feeling comfortable with the idea of trying. Also, why don't you just give it a shot and so that you can see what went well and what didn't. After that he could also give you a feedback that you will be able to use the next times you try. Just agree that the first time will be a trial and reajust afterwards if needed.

    Good luck :)

    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 592
    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    Hi Mebby!

    Welcome to the forum! It sounds like you have a lovely boyfriend who is sweet and patient. I personally wouldn't suggest you watch BJ porn at this point as it could give you an unrealistic expectation of what could be perceived as "expected of you". Mysteron's book recommendation is a really good choice.

    As you are really nervous about it I would suggest you try out on your finger to give you an idea of what it might feel like as the sensations are very different, sucking gently, sucking hard, sliding it in and out of your mouth (when your mouth is all nice and wet)and licking it up and down from base to tip varying the speed and pressure you apply will all feel amazing!! My bet is that it will all feel good to your fella and on the whole he will just be grateful!

    I like to give head on my knees and look up, he will be really turned on by the eye contact and its often easier on your neck muscles as well as the angle of it fitting in your mouth!

    You can swirl your tongue around the head of the penis and suck mostly at the top, use your hands to either hold it or to extend the feeling. You can masturbate him while sucking the end, the wetter your mouth is the nicer it'll feel for you both. The frenulum (the underneath side of his penis) will be really sensitive and it feels lovely for him when you lick it.

    I would suggest you think about the end result as cum is definitely an acquired taste! I'm not a massive fan but will swallow as a "special treat" for him. You could decide whether you will let him cum in your mouth (spit or swallow) or finish with sex or whether you use your hand and let him cum over you. I would get him to tell you when he is going to cum so you can decide there and then if you haven't already decided or you change your mind!

    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1636
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2015

    Just be honest with him. Say you're inexperienced with bjs but happy to learn. He has a mind of his own so will tell you what feels good and what doesn't. It is hard to get wrong. No man will say no to a bj if his gf is an expert or a novice. Men are just happy to have their penis in your mouth to begin with.

    Like I said it is hard to get wrong. Just relax and keep confident. But if you aren't enjoying it, stop.

    slow long licks to start off with, the tip is the most sensitive part so pay a lot of attention to that. Suck on the tip to get you used to so,etching being in your mouth, you'll need to get accustomed to the taste as well. There'll be pre cum so look out for that, nothing wrong with it at all just making you aware that it happens. Just like us women we get 'wet' so do men. Don't leave the testicles out, if you're happy to play with them that is - men usually enjoy them played with.

    you might want him to trim down there, or not if you're comfortable with pubes, I prefer trimmed or shaved so I can really go to town on him.

    You can use your hands as well, suck on the tip and masturbate the shaft at the same time. Or cup the testicles. Involve your boobs if you want, squeeze them in front of him. There's a lot of things you can do. All exploration!

    Relax and enjoy

    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    I'd agree with the comments above where no man will care how experienced you are; just receiving is a massive turn-on, full stop. Position wise, maybe knelt in front of him on the sofa, then you can rest on your elbows rather than wrists?

    If you are worried about scratching him with teeth, don't feel pressured to take him into your mouth. Maybe start by giving a slow handjob with occasional licks added. An 'almost blowjob' lol. For guys the head is the most sensitive area, for me the ridge all the way around the base of the head.

    Maybe try holding him at the base and give long licks from the bottom all the way up his shaft to the head. Soft lapping with a flat tongue feels best. When you reach the head, pull the foreskin right back (it hightens the sensitivity on me) and lap at it gently from all angles.

    If you're worried or self conscious you could always practice in private on a toy, but trust me, when you see his reaction and he starts bucking his hips and moaning you'll soon relax and allow yourself to get into it.

    Naughty Miss K [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 20 Nov 2012


    To help with the wrists, you could kneel at his feet, or sit on a chair/edge of the bed and have him stand in front of you.

    It does make it easier the wetter is it, either use some lube or lots and lots of spit.

    You can get away with not having too much in your mouth by having your hand on his shaft, as an extension of your mouth, so he's still getting a lot of sensations etc, but you only have the tin in your mouth until you get used to it :)

    loganlogan [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 21 Dec 2014

    Anytime you try something new sexually it's a nervous experience.try and relax and take your time.get him to be vocal and tell you what your doing that he is enjoying.

    BigBoy94 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 6 Jan 2015

    Tell him that you are nervous and that you don't really know what you are doing, ask him to give you a lot of guidance, ask him if he enjoys something you did. Then just practise, practise and practise. However always make sure you are comfortable doing it, for me personally, a lot of my enjoyment recieving, is seeing my OH enjoying giving (albeit potentially acting)!

    Mebby [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the tips and advice everyone! I finally did it haha it wasn't so scary and I actually quite enjoyed it :P

    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    Awesome! Glad you enjoyed it! I love it too! X

    hardfast [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 3 Jun 2016

    Remember practice makes perfect.
    Keep going, he'll love it and as your confidence builds you won't know what you worried about.

    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well done.

    If you can still get that book I recommended .You will become an expert and literally blow him over.

    Kanu Suckmeov [sign in to see picture]
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    Well done Mebby, he will be putty in your hands forever now!

    Us men just love bj'.

    PS: did you look him in the eyes when you done it? always works on me!


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    So happy it went well Mebby. 😆 you'll enjoy it the more you do it. 💟xx

    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    Practise with a banana, There shouldnt be any pressure in the bedroom, practise will make perfect

    I remember practising putting on condoms at school with a banana lol

    Mebby [sign in to see picture]
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    I went to a Catholic all girls high school, they didn't teach us much about putting on condoms and such :P think we had the whole year group and one nurse taking questions, handing out those fake lumps of skin with the implant in and showing how to put a condom on a banana. Was half an hour and think that was it.
    And nope, no eye contact since I was facing the wrong way :P we had tried doing 69 position a little while ago and my wrists just couldn't take it and I couldn't work out how to do it :P this time we tried it on our sides and was easier and also felt less pressure on me as we were both doing stuff :)

    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Flavoured lube is fun to try too :)

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