1. Not comfortable with BJs

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2647
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Guys like that are a big part of why I don't like being a guy, I'm ashamed to be the same gender, there seems to be a growing number of guys who consider it to be a relationship deal breaker. But for them to go staight in demanding a BJ, or else, disgusts me. An escourt would not stand for doing anything she did not want, so maybe these guys think they can get away with this kind of behaviour with a shy trusting young woman.

    Don't givin to them, the foul comments are just bravado, meant to intimidate, you say if, when and what and where, and if they walk then you know just what they are. Rats runnung out of the drains.. I seem to get the female equivelent of them, just users, but it must be hard and makes you think thats all thats left out there anymore. . There are decent men and women out there, it's just hard to find them.

    All these online and phone apps just seem to be breeding them, I keep thinking that I should set up a group where all the guys who join are vetted to see what sort of a man they are face to face, over time. where safe places can be set up for people to talk and get to know each other as friends, before they start to date. But people are in such a rush these days, and think that if you are friends with a woman, it will never go further ; but why not? Guess I'm just to old fashioned.

    Richie1 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 10 Feb 2016

    LongLegs2014 wrote:

    So I've only ever given oral sex twice...yep twice my whole entire sexual active life! It's not something I'm overly keen on tbh purely because I'm embarrassed I'm possibly doing it wrong and will get judged on it.
    I'm even starting think that it's hampering my dates with guys..,last year a guy I was dating asked for a BJ but I said no because I was embarrassed but I didn't feel comfortable with it because I wanted to take things slowly (that backfired as he 'walked away'. And a guy I went on a first date with few weeks ago expected a BJ on the first date, ok he went down on me (I didn't want him to), but I guess he wanted the favour returned. Even tried to cum on my face / body which made me extremely uncomfortable, and actually put me off him!! (I don't talk to him anymore).

    It is something that I do want to do more often but with someone im in a r'ship with & can trust. So ladies (& gents) what tips do you have that would make me less embarrassed & enjoy the act??? Best technique?.....

    Hi LongLegs2014

    These men that you have dated recently, have acted disgracefully, we are not all like them. Please never allow yourself to be pressured into something you don't want to do. I am sure that soon you will meet the right guy, who will love and respect you, and that will allow you to trust him and make your own choices, and would never judge your "performance"

    I would never expect my OH to do anything she didn't want, or felt uncomfortable doing. I hope you meet the right guy soon.

    Until then take care of yourself. xx

    Spliffy249 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 29 Apr 2015

    I am relatively the same. I'm not totally comfortable with giving a bj as I lack confidence in it as I have a strong gag reflex. I just ordered some numbing mints, perhaps give those a go? Or the spray? That may help, gag reflex or no gag reflex. Maybe ad you're using your hands you can tease him with your tongue at the same time, rather than actually giving him the whole thing?

    But if you're not comfortable with doing this, never feel pressured and don't do anything you really don't want to. Any guy should understand, and those that don't are probably not worthy of receiving one anyway!

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