• Help partner won't come!!!

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    Hornynanny [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 26 Nov 2009

    My husband could go on and on and on until I am out, it takes him so long time to come. I can't have a quickie anymore and I have not seen his juices in about three months. Now he sees sex as a chore, cause we have to do it for such a longtime for him to come. Are there any ideas, what can I do to make him come sooner, any toys I can try? Someone come to my rescue.

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    If he masturbates, then perhaps refraining from masturbation until he can orgasm from penetrating you might help.

    1259278297
    Hornynanny [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you Lubyanka, I stopped him masturbating and I trust that he hasn't done so in a while.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Hornynanny and welcome to the forums.

    I'm sure loads of people will have advice on this, and if you use the search function in the top right corner of the page there might be information already available on the forums.

    I think it would be helpful for people offering advice to know if there is anything that might have triggered the problem as things like this can be affected by so many things outside of your sex life (e.g. work stress, lack of sleep, alcohol dependance to name a few).

    Next I would say, whilst you are working on solving the problem you have, it is a good idea to come round to the way of thinking that orgasming does not have to be the main goal for sex! Sex is about pleasure....I regularly don't come during sex as I don't feel I need or want to and that's ok because I am completely satisfied with the sex I do have. Next I would say that people are sensitive to pressures, if your fella thinks you are upset that he can't come quickly then he feels pressure to try harder, then it gets even harder to come, it can be a vicious cycle!

    Try focusing on the "pleasure" of sex, rather than the end result. My OH loves "soft blowjobs" and can happily enjoy the sensual feeling without coming, and sex can be stopped when you feel you are both satisfied, or perhaps use your own orgasm as a temporary "end point" if you feel you need an "end point".

    Then try looking at things that may have changed around the same time as the problem began, it could be anything, it's useful to try and determine the cause but if you can't think of anything, don't be afraid to go to the doctors! They are experienced with problems like this and may be able to offer a simple solution!

    It's not an embarrassing problem!!

    Good luck

    Ax

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    Hornynanny [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you, thats really indepth. Yes it is true we don't always have to come. I will take your advice on that one. Its just sometimes it will be good to see him come, his orgasm when he has them are just perfect. Thrust are deeper and good and I enjoy.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Hornynanny wrote:

    Thank you, thats really indepth. Yes it is true we don't always have to come. I will take your advice on that one. Its just sometimes it will be good to see him come, his orgasm when he has them are just perfect. Thrust are deeper and good and I enjoy.

    Perhaps if you take away the pressure of coming, then he may find it easier to come.

    I know my fella is VERY susceptible to feeling under pressure!

    Ax

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    A lot of men are, who find it hard to even admit that to themselves!

    x

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    (susceptible to feeling under pressure)

    x

    1259366968
    Sam66 [sign in to see picture]
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    I had a couple of years when I couldn't come - you could've lined up a hen party for me to go through and nothing would happen for me. But I know why ... I was on a drug that made it almost impossible to come. I'm still on it but can now - I TRY and relax, and enjoy the sensations. My wife now knows it's not her 'fault' (she used to), she knows I still fancy her and love sex with her.

    Once it's all out in the open things got better - I rarely come before she does ... but she doesn't complain!!!!

    In some ways it's a good problem to have - better than the opposite one - at least it is for me and her.

    It's a cliche - but talk about it with him and just enjoy the tme together in bed, on the floor wherever without expectations. Even if he doesn't come easily at least you'll enjoy sex ... well - it worked for us anyway. Hope it will for you too.

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