1. Men who view porn in a committed relationship or married.

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    pyjamaparty [sign in to see picture]
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    telemachus wrote:

    I think that anyone who views masturbation as cheating has some serious control issues.

    Your body, your decision. Seriously.

    It's no different from trying to control if your partner showers, or washes their hair, or touches any other part of their body. I mean - if I can't masturbate am I allowed to touch my genitals in any way? Is it only sexual intent which is banned? What if I accidentally touch myself? Can I wash?

    They are my body parts and if I wish to touch them I will. If someone wanted to stop that they could fuck right off.

    Totally agree

    There's no way I could abstain from masturbation - i dont see my OH enough!

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    put me on the list agreewith you both

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree that nobody should tell you that you can't masturbate, but i think an occasion when somebody has the right to be upset is if the habit changes suddenly or if someone is choosing porn or masturbation over being with their partner!

    if my partner ever told me i couldn't do something (unless it was stick my finger up his bum or something that relates to him) i would tell him where to go!

    but as i said neither of us do really masturbate, however we do reserve the right to masturbate if we choose to!

    VW x

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    pusseypleaser [sign in to see picture]
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    16 years of great fun

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    pusseypleaser wrote:

    Well it works for us. As we know everyone has there views

    Absolutely - I didn't intend to suggest otherwise. So long as both of you are happy then it's fine.

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    pusseypleaser [sign in to see picture]
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    Self control

    telemachus wrote:

    I think that anyone who views masturbation as cheating has some serious control issues.

    Your body, your decision. Seriously.

    It's no different from trying to control if your partner showers, or washes their hair, or touches any other part of their body. I mean - if I can't masturbate am I allowed to touch my genitals in any way? Is it only sexual intent which is banned? What if I accidentally touch myself? Can I wash?

    They are my body parts and if I wish to touch them I will. If someone wanted to stop that they could fuck right off.

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    pyjamaparty [sign in to see picture]
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    that's not self control

    that's self denial

    and being masochistic!

    I'm afraid I need the regular release which cannot be achieved by sex alone

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    pyjamaparty wrote:

    that's not self control

    that's self denial

    and being masochistic!

    I'm afraid I need the regular release which cannot be achieved by sex alone

    quite agree there's allways that bit more then

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, we're not all Buddist monks or priests who can keep controlled are we (actually, ignore the priests in that example).

    I do agree with Tele on this. It seems an unnecessary rule to impose, did New Labour invent that one?

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    pyjamaparty [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Well, we're not all Buddist monks or priests who can keep controlled are we (actually, ignore the priests in that example).

    I do agree with Tele on this. It seems an unnecessary rule to impose, did New Labour invent that one?

    I'm not sure about New Labour

    but the only time I've NOT wanted to masturbate is when I'm IN labour;)

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    pyjamaparty wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Well, we're not all Buddist monks or priests who can keep controlled are we (actually, ignore the priests in that example).

    I do agree with Tele on this. It seems an unnecessary rule to impose, did New Labour invent that one?

    I'm not sure about New Labour

    but the only time I've NOT wanted to masturbate is when I'm IN labour;)

    nice one pj

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    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    I agree that nobody should tell you that you can't masturbate, but i think an occasion when somebody has the right to be upset is if the habit changes suddenly or if someone is choosing porn or masturbation over being with their partner!

    if my partner ever told me i couldn't do something (unless it was stick my finger up his bum or something that relates to him) i would tell him where to go!

    but as i said neither of us do really masturbate, however we do reserve the right to masturbate if we choose to!

    VW x

    But regardless of what his habits might have been before, it is HIS body, not yours and he can do with it as he pleases! You don't even have a right to know if he is masturbating. If he decides he doesn't want to masturbate for a month and then does it 4 times in one day...well then that is his perogative. Really - it is his penis, he can touch it if he wants.

    disclaimer - my post assumes that this is not affecting your relationship in an adverse way. VW - you refer to choosing it over your partner and of course that is different, not accpetable and needs discussing, of course someone would be uspet over that.

    You cannot fairly control what your partner does with their body. It's not about self control - it's about you controlling them.

    I feel somewhat similar to WandA, though not totally - Your partners body is theirs to do with as they wish. If they want to touch it, then they can. The one that doesn't have any rights to their body is you. You can have sex with them, touch them, if they allow it, they decide who else touches them - what they can always do is touch themselves. You cannot control what they do with their body as it is not yours to control.

    If they want to masturbate 20 times a day, well then, that's up to then. It is then up to you to decide if you want to stay with someone that wanks all the time and never has sex with you. If someone changes their habits, then that's up to them. Of course you can be upset, that's up to you. But it's wrong to tell someone that they should masturbate less because it upsets you because they never used to do it. Your emotions are your own - and your partners body is theirs.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with what you say Tele but I'm more posting this to say I you! Even when I disagree with some of the things you say I admire the to-the-pointness and honesty of your posts.

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow i've missed alot here!

    Telling someone they can't masturbate or have fantasies....I just can't understand this at all! Nobody has a right to deny someone that if thats what they want to do. Everyone has fantasies, whether their partner likes it or not, whether they tell you about it or not, they will have them - fact. Because we are all human and have needs.

    I'm actually quite worried PP, this is very unhealthy.

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    david1664 [sign in to see picture]
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    Is the line crossed when the mental side becomes physical ?

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Obviously everyone has their own limits and opinions on this, but for me the line is crossed when a partner physically does something sexual with another person without the knowledge/consent of their partner.

    There is no line crossed if someone has a fantasy about someone/something and then masturbates about it - thats just human nature! Whether we admit it or not its something the vast majority of us do, its normal.

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    sexynurse09 wrote:

    Obviously everyone has their own limits and opinions on this, but for me the line is crossed when a partner physically does something sexual with another person without the knowledge/consent of their partner.

    There is no line crossed if someone has a fantasy about someone/something and then masturbates about it - thats just human nature! Whether we admit it or not its something the vast majority of us do, its normal.

    quite agree and i share this fantasy with my partner who loves it

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    david1664 [sign in to see picture]
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    so as long as the other person knows what you are upto it's ok ?

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    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    I agree with what you say Tele but I'm more posting this to say I you! Even when I disagree with some of the things you say I admire the to-the-pointness and honesty of your posts.

    well... I do try <preens>

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    david1664 wrote:

    so as long as the other person knows what you are upto it's ok ?

    In our opinion yes, even better if partner can join in. But not everybody is like us

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    telemachus wrote:

    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    I agree that nobody should tell you that you can't masturbate, but i think an occasion when somebody has the right to be upset is if the habit changes suddenly or if someone is choosing porn or masturbation over being with their partner!

    if my partner ever told me i couldn't do something (unless it was stick my finger up his bum or something that relates to him) i would tell him where to go!

    but as i said neither of us do really masturbate, however we do reserve the right to masturbate if we choose to!

    VW x

    But regardless of what his habits might have been before, it is HIS body, not yours and he can do with it as he pleases! You don't even have a right to know if he is masturbating. If he decides he doesn't want to masturbate for a month and then does it 4 times in one day...well then that is his perogative. Really - it is his penis, he can touch it if he wants.

    disclaimer - my post assumes that this is not affecting your relationship in an adverse way. VW - you refer to choosing it over your partner and of course that is different, not accpetable and needs discussing, of course someone would be uspet over that.

    You cannot fairly control what your partner does with their body. It's not about self control - it's about you controlling them.

    I feel somewhat similar to WandA, though not totally - Your partners body is theirs to do with as they wish. If they want to touch it, then they can. The one that doesn't have any rights to their body is you. You can have sex with them, touch them, if they allow it, they decide who else touches them - what they can always do is touch themselves. You cannot control what they do with their body as it is not yours to control.

    If they want to masturbate 20 times a day, well then, that's up to then. It is then up to you to decide if you want to stay with someone that wanks all the time and never has sex with you. If someone changes their habits, then that's up to them. Of course you can be upset, that's up to you. But it's wrong to tell someone that they should masturbate less because it upsets you because they never used to do it. Your emotions are your own - and your partners body is theirs.

    When i said if the habit suddenly changes i mean the fact that he has barely masturbated for the whole 3 years of our relationship, so i would be upset if he began to do it REALLY frequently, i would think something had changed so i think a discussion is the least he could do even if it was just to reassure me, i understand that it is his body but if something upsets me then surely he should let me have my say, if i wanted to shave my head i would talk to him first!

    masturbation isn't even an issue in our relationship, both of us have said we find it depressing and lonely to be masturbating alone (however we do do it in front of each other) but like i said, we reserve the right to masturbate if the need takes us and the other one isn't around!

    i would never tell him not to do something, and hopefully it will never be an issue, but if he did decide he wanted to masturbate i would never stop him, but i would expect a conversation about why, because if the only reason was that his sex driv went up, i would just have sex more.

    pretty much every bit of advice i have ever read on this site has been to communicate which is what i am saying i would expect

    VW x

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