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  1. Confused & desparate for answer!

    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7354
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    IMO you need to both move on . A relationship isn't just about the physical aspects of sex. Yes we all like it but it is only one element that makes a sucessful relationship .

    I would recommend that you move on and stay "single" for about 2 months. This is because you may still have some feelings towards your former partner and the last thing you want to do (believe me from my own experience) is to enter into a relationship when you are on the rebound .

    Clearly chemistry is lacking here . What I mean here is next time you are out with your friends either clubbing or out for a meal is just watch other couples without staring or freaking them out . Just watch how they interact with each other and you will be able to spot proper real couples from say singles . I used to play this game with my Mrs and you can suss out couples that really get on together and even work out if they are married or engaged to the partner they are with without looking for the rings. Give it a go :)

    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5730
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    Hi, I think you know deep down that this relationship is not right. He sounds quite controlling to the extent that you feel you have to lie about where you go and who you see and thats totally out of order. But in my honest opinion there is never an excuse to cheat on a partner, no matter what the circumstance. If my OH cheated on me I'd never forgive him and that would be the end for us. So if you do decide to tell him then you have to be prepared for that reaction but really to me it looks like this relationship is already over.

    You can't live your life lying to somebody all the time, it's not healthy for either of you.

    LibraLover [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 622
    • Joined: 16 Jul 2014

    I think it's clear that you should be single for a while. He sounds far from perfect, but you've cheated on him without guilt and without telling him which not only shows that you probably want to date around a bit, but you also aren't following through on the responsibilities of a relationship.

    Angus Ncle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 32
    • Joined: 5 Sep 2008

    I know a couple who were a bit like this, but its changed, and I'm not sure how.
    She dresses up and goes out with friends. He often will pick her up after she texts, from a club or wherever, and drops some of her friends off. But what he says is he then has a great end to the day ! They seem constantly flirting and she exudes sex but all now focussed on him.
    Don't know how or why but seems to suit them both.

    Personally I think there are a lot of wise words previously said from peoples experiences. And I'm not sure that I could trust someone that has cheated.
    Hope you move forward, best wishes.

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