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  1. why cant I?

    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Have you been able to since the op? Maybe it's subconscious stress that you may cause pain? Mostly though, the more you worry about it and try and force an orgasm the harder it will be, think about something else or watch porn, or even mastubate with hubby. It'll come back, just need to relax x

    I think I have since the op yes.

    Tried mutual masturbation in front of eachother the other day, nothing he had to finish me.

    tried doing it during sex, nothing.

    tried using my rosa rouge. nothing. I mean its a rosa ffs! I couldn't get off with a luxury toy!

    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    BrumGuy wrote:

    Have you been overdoing it with a vibe?

    Too much direct contact and for prolonged sesions can desensitize the nerves.

    Or are you giving yourself a mental block?

    Hope it comes back soon.

    Please don't be frightened by this - it's not entirely true.

    Sometimes vibrators or vigorous clitoral stimulation can cause de-sensitisation or numbing temporarily (i.e. for a few minutes or hours), but there has been no scientific evidence to suggest that long term use of sex toys causes any physiological or anatomical changes. So to put your mind at ease - masturbating with sex toys will not render you unable to orgasm!

    What does sometimes happen though is that you get used to the enhanced sensation sex toys can give you, and then find it difficult to climax without them. This isn't because you've been de-sensitised, it's just because you've got used to masturbating a different way and may have become accustomed to the super fast orgasms toys can give you, so you feel like you're not getting anywhere when you try by yourself. This is why people suggest to lay off the sex toys once in a while, sometimes it can help you 'remember' how to make yourself climax!

    How long have you had the mirena for? I experienced decreased sensitivity and loss of libido with the mirena, as well as other hormonal changes. I was able to orgasm but it didn't feel as good and would take longer. Perhaps that could be contributing to your problems?

    Otherwise - chillax and take a break :) If you're putting pressure on yourself to orgasm, it will be more difficult. A lot of people say that sexual pleasure is more influenced by the mind in women, so it's important you're taking care of yourself and giving yourself time to unwind. Maybe it's best to stop trying for a while and come back to it when you next feel like it, rather than making it a chore if that makes sense.

    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    I've had occasions where I've not been able to orgasm, then I end up trying harder, becoming more frustrated and in a viscious circle. What I have to do, is no sexual activity or masturbation for a small number of weeks, then I get an overwhelming horniness and orgasms just come back.

    Angus Ncle [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes I don't orgasm. Just the other day went totally flacid during sex. I told my wife not to worry. She thought I may not fancy her but I told her not to put stress on (I'd been there with my previous wife.) I really enjoyed playing with her, caressing and massaging her to bring her to orgasm. The following day we kissed and caressed and I was solid again. And without any rhyme or reason.
    The key is take out the stress. . and enjoy the the intimacy. (in my humble opinion)

    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey guys. So I decided to bump this up.

    I still can't do it.

    Hubby can make me come easily but I can not do it myself, no matter what I use!

    I tried to use my tracy cox rabbit yesterday which I love and when hubby uses it on me it has me squirming in pleasure but yesterday although I enjoyed it I just did not get that release

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