• Sub/Dom relationships

    1254241417
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    shellyboo wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:


    There's possibly a selfish element too of gathering and synthesising information to see what tips and ideas can I get from learning about other people's naughty shennanigans!

    xxKPxx

    That's not selfish, that's the whole point of the forum! If we can't ask questions about eachothers' lifestyles, then we might as well not bother discussing anything! I'm really glad you asked the question, because it's something I'm interested in too.

    I've read a few blogs on it... none that I can particularly remember though. If I come across any more on my travels through the internet, I'll post the links here... I find that reading blogs is a great way to have a peek into different relationships and see the dynamics involved.


    A few nosey neighbour! I'm glad I asked because I love how open minded and informative this forum can be and there seemed to be plenty on sub/dom sex but not so much on the actual relationships!

    If I find anything on my intergalactic web exploration I too shall share the love!

    xxKPxx

    1254241466
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    ^few nosey neighbour?!!! that was supposed to say fellow lol stupid keyboard lag!

    1254242030
    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1596
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2008

    KittyPurry wrote:

    For me there's a huge imaginary line around the bedroom (kitchen table/shower/woodland) and all the sub/dom stuff is fine and dandy within the sex-sphere (don't you just wish that was a real place!?).

    It is real - look no further than Love Honey!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14994

    x

    1254242308
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    KittyPurry wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:


    There's possibly a selfish element too of gathering and synthesising information to see what tips and ideas can I get from learning about other people's naughty shennanigans!

    xxKPxx

    That's not selfish, that's the whole point of the forum! If we can't ask questions about eachothers' lifestyles, then we might as well not bother discussing anything! I'm really glad you asked the question, because it's something I'm interested in too.

    I've read a few blogs on it... none that I can particularly remember though. If I come across any more on my travels through the internet, I'll post the links here... I find that reading blogs is a great way to have a peek into different relationships and see the dynamics involved.


    A few nosey neighbour! I'm glad I asked because I love how open minded and informative this forum can be and there seemed to be plenty on sub/dom sex but not so much on the actual relationships!

    If I find anything on my intergalactic web exploration I too shall share the love!

    xxKPxx

    :) Exactly. We're all pretty well versed on D/s roleplay in the bedroom, but getting an insight into how that plays out in relationships where one partner is always Dom and the other always sub is really interesting.

    1254242637
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    LoveHoney - Carly wrote:

    I know a few people with sub/dom relationships and you would have absolutely no idea unless they told you!

    They practice it 24 hours a day, seven days a week - but it's not obvious, like you'd maybe think it would be. They are normal functioning members of society, with a little added kink!

    I bombarded them with questions when I first found out, so I understand where the intrigue comes from! It started quite naturally for them and has progressed wonderfully ever since. They were a couple for a year or two before they really discovered this side of their relationship. He expressed an interest when discussing fantasies, she admitted to liking the idea and they started to experiment from there.

    I think it is possible for it to develop naturally, but you have to be quite lucky to randomly come across (ooh err) someone who enjoys it without even really knowing it. I think their relationship was a lucky twist of fate rather than 'hi there, i like being spanked, fancy a drink?' 'omg, i love spanking people, how about tomorrow at 8?'

    Personally, I don't think I could fulfil a sub/dom role all day as it doesn't come naturally to me. I'm also a bit of a push over so I don't think that would help! However, I do think it's somewhat like riding a bike - once you know what you're doing, you don't even have to think about it, it just happens.


    That's awesome! Your friends were obviously made for each other!

    I'm with you in the not being able to keep it up all day, my partner and I spend a lot of our time being mates (albeit pervy and rampant mates!) ... I think constantly giving or taking orders would mess up the friendship aspect which to me is probably the most important part.

    I definately can't shake the urge for total domination (that sounds like something from Mortal Kombat!) ... I think I might have to ask my partner for a weekend (or at least one day) of him bossing me about and I'll report back on my findings!

    xxKPxx

    PS if you're a bit of a pushover...maybe it does come naturally and you're actually a secret sub!

    1254242698
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    masterandslave wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    For me there's a huge imaginary line around the bedroom (kitchen table/shower/woodland) and all the sub/dom stuff is fine and dandy within the sex-sphere (don't you just wish that was a real place!?).

    It is real - look no further than Love Honey!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14994

    x

    LMAO!!! Up for some bikini clad zorbing on the beach with me M&S?

    1254242766
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    shellyboo wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:


    There's possibly a selfish element too of gathering and synthesising information to see what tips and ideas can I get from learning about other people's naughty shennanigans!

    xxKPxx

    That's not selfish, that's the whole point of the forum! If we can't ask questions about eachothers' lifestyles, then we might as well not bother discussing anything! I'm really glad you asked the question, because it's something I'm interested in too.

    I've read a few blogs on it... none that I can particularly remember though. If I come across any more on my travels through the internet, I'll post the links here... I find that reading blogs is a great way to have a peek into different relationships and see the dynamics involved.


    A few nosey neighbour! I'm glad I asked because I love how open minded and informative this forum can be and there seemed to be plenty on sub/dom sex but not so much on the actual relationships!

    If I find anything on my intergalactic web exploration I too shall share the love!

    xxKPxx

    :) Exactly. We're all pretty well versed on D/s roleplay in the bedroom, but getting an insight into how that plays out in relationships where one partner is always Dom and the other always sub is really interesting.

    Have you read Story of O by Pauline Reage...that was quite interesting and for me was about the horniest thing since a rhino sandwich!

    1254243132
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    No, but I've been planning to! I shall buy it :)

    Carly, I completely agree that it's not as overt as people would expect.

    I don't necessarily think it's as simple as one partner giving all the orders either... I think it's more to do with a negotiated status quo between two partners where some things would be expected of the sub partner, and others expected of the dom partner. To take a stereotypical example, the sub partner would have responsibility for all the housework; while the dom partner controls the household finances, makes sure the bills are paid, and does household budgets, etc.

    1254244570
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    LoveHoney - Carly wrote:


    I definately can't shake the urge for total domination (that sounds like something from Mortal Kombat!)


    Quote of the day, right there! Finish him!!!

    Back to the topic, if you liked Story of O you may like http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13723. Obviously it is all fictional but it explores the sub/dom relationship more and gives you an insight into the psyche of the characters too.

    LMAO! hurrah for a fellow GEEEEEEK

    Thanks for the book tip! I got a book voucher for my birthday from my boyfriend's mum...that's not weird if I use it for porn right?!

    xxKPxx

    1254244731
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    shellyboo wrote:

    To take a stereotypical example, the sub partner would have responsibility for all the housework; while the dom partner controls the household finances, makes sure the bills are paid, and does household budgets, etc.

    That's a really interesting thought, thanks hun! If I do the housework, cook and the finances does that make me like an all powerful super queen dominatrix?!

    1254244867
    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1596
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2008

    KittyPurry wrote:

    masterandslave wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    For me there's a huge imaginary line around the bedroom (kitchen table/shower/woodland) and all the sub/dom stuff is fine and dandy within the sex-sphere (don't you just wish that was a real place!?).

    It is real - look no further than Love Honey!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14994

    x

    LMAO!!! Up for some bikini clad zorbing on the beach with me M&S?

    Hell yeah!! Race you!

    LoveHoney - Carly wrote:


    I definately can't shake the urge for total domination (that sounds like something from Mortal Kombat!)


    Quote of the day, right there! Finish him!!!

    KittyPurry/Carly I'm never going to be able to play a beat 'em up again in the same way!

    For us my OH was more experienced and took control naturally. It has never been about just one of us, equal rights for subs! Lol!

    x

    1254245159
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009



    Hell yeah!! Race you!

    Aww an I thought we could share a pod lol

    xxKPxx

    1254245456
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    KittyPurry wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    To take a stereotypical example, the sub partner would have responsibility for all the housework; while the dom partner controls the household finances, makes sure the bills are paid, and does household budgets, etc.

    That's a really interesting thought, thanks hun! If I do the housework, cook and the finances does that make me like an all powerful super queen dominatrix?!

    Lol, if that's the role you want to take! :D I think there's always a natural D/s element in every relationship, it's just not always defined as such.

    1254268464
    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1596
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2008

    KittyPurry wrote:



    Hell yeah!! Race you!

    Aww an I thought we could share a pod lol

    xxKPxx

    Ok! I'll bring the oil! LOL!

    x

    1257292684
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    *Bump*

    I would kinda like to experience a sub dom relationship again. But as long as its with another person who is experienced. I'd be really interested in how different the relationship would be to the previous one!

    Just out of interest: would you ever consider playing the dom in a relationship or are you definately sub?

    xxKPxx

    1257293140
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Dom feels too wierd too me. Very alien indeed. I'm normally quite passive in nature, and sub has always suited me. I get quite a bit of a kick out of it actually!

    That's totally understandable! I ask because I was always dom in my experiences with girls but with my OH I play both ways and LOVE it! There's something awesome about being "the boss" and getting your orgasm your way and allowing them to cum only when you say so...but conversely there's so fun to be had being totally overpowered and ravished!

    xxKPxx

    1257293784
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    See I love being the "servant" And being the one who can only cum when I'm allowed to etc! There is something quite satisfying for me about being the one who is making all the pleasures for the master!

    Lol in my mind that sounded almost like gollum from lord of the rings "making the pleasures for the master" precious!

    I know what you mean though...vicarous pleasure is definately the best kind!

    xxKPxx

    1257295250
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1827
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    See I love being the "servant" And being the one who can only cum when I'm allowed to etc! There is something quite satisfying for me about being the one who is making all the pleasures for the master!

    with me if someone says that i automatically come from the thought of "musn't cum" which is fun but a little defeating :S

    1257339629
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    sweetlove666 wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    See I love being the "servant" And being the one who can only cum when I'm allowed to etc! There is something quite satisfying for me about being the one who is making all the pleasures for the master!

    with me if someone says that i automatically come from the thought of "musn't cum" which is fun but a little defeating :S

    hahahhaha you rebel I can definately relate to this but usually I disobay because I enjoy the spanking "punishment" for misbehaving!

    xxKPxx

    1257385301
    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 759
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2007

    I could never always be one or the other. Sometimes I like to be in control & sometimes I like to be told what to do. Being awkward sometimes I'll want to flip roles halfway through! I think it heavily depends on your partner as to which role u naturally lean towards. Generally in life I'm quite happy for someone else to take the reigns but when I want them - i expect to be given them! Not that I'm high maintenance... X

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.