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  1. Is Anal Actually Enjoyable?

    Dirtylittlesecret [sign in to see picture]
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    So my partner and i tried it once and i thought it hurt so so so so bad and couldn't wait for it to be over, but he really likes the idea and i know he wants to try it again since its been a year . I was just wondering how i could make it hurt less or just more enjoyable for me? I've got friends who love it but i dont nkow how to 'get warmed up' or what to use and i'm always consiouse of things like hygine or smell and i dont want any of that to put me or him off...

    Any ideas or tips? Sorry if this is a silly question or if im too detailed or not enough, i'm pretty new to this all...

    SensualFire [sign in to see picture]
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    Well your bound to be apprehensive and nervous. Its good that your willing to *try* again. However your partner needs to be receptive and go very gently with you. Lots of lube, foreplay, taking things slowly. Reassurance, and comunication is essential.

    Maybe try a very small toy, and do this by your self, you need to enjoy it by your self before you go ahead with your partner.

    Simply a suggestion. Nothig too aggressive, as that WILL hurt and will put you off, especially if your partner is *big* down there

    Subdom27 [sign in to see picture]
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    SF is right. You need to try it yourself first and become comfortable with that. One of the most important things when you're just starting out is being relaxed. If you're apprehensive or nervous, then it'll be way more uncomfortable.

    Get yourself a beginners plug and have some time to yourself. Then when it feels comfortable, try using fingers. Keep using more as you start to feel more relaxed. The key to being able to take more (ie your partner) is going slow and listening to your body. If it hurts when he's trying to enter you, then you haven't spent long enough warming up.

    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    To answer the question "Is Anal Actually Enjoyable?" yes anal is very enjoyable but let me try and explain a bit more.

    The best way I found to start was using a finger, get some anal lube to help. When starting just take it slow making sure you are relaxed as that helps, lube up your anus and a finger then insert it a little without going too deep and taking it out know and again. Once you get used to a finger being in a little you can start pushing it in a bit more. Of course like I said take it slow and relaxed, if you do feel discomfort then stop for a bit.

    You will want to be comfortable with a finger but once you are a good toy to help move on is the the Lovehoney BASICS Slimline Butt Buddy Butt Plug or even the Lovehoney Booty Buddy Silicone Butt Plug. I have both toys and they are great for beginners due to them being small in length and girth. Just remeber to get an anal specific lube, the lovehoney one is perfect to start of with.

    Also to answer the warming up, when you get used to a finger and them move on to say a toy it's best to start off with your finger again before using the toy because your used to that and it will help get you ready for the toy you might use.

    Hope this helps

    Dirtylittlesecret [sign in to see picture]
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    I've used a finger before but not much but i feel like i panic too much and tense and then it hurts but i havent tried using lube, what's the difference between regular lube and anal lube? and how do i prepare for it as in hygene wise? is it important to douch? do i have to buy one?

    Im definitly going to try use a toy on my own after fingers, that seems like a good start.

    Thanks! :)

    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Relax when you try a finger, go slow and don't force your whole finger in at once. That should help make it more comfortable

    A douche isn't needed though it wouldn't hurt to have one if you wanted, I don't have one but may get one eventually.

    Of course you won't want to try anal after taking a crap so I would wait till you've had a decent time since taking one if you're worried about any mess although maybe try it in the shower. Before hand for me I usually give my anus a good wipe with toilet paper and sometimes in the shower i will blast it for a few seonds just to make sure it's as clean as i can get it

    From the Lovehoney page on anal lube this tells you the difference differs from regular lube as the consistency is much thicker which helps to protect the sensitive skin of the anus. It's not just a safety issue for the health of your sensitive anal tract, it's also a pleasure thing.

    Lovehoney have a page dedicated to beginners toys so pick one from there that you like and you'll know it'll be a good toy for you to start with as a beginner.

    oneofthesedays [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't have practical advice as I'm very much a beginner with anal, but you might want to read this

    It has lots of information and advice, you might find it helpful :)

    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    I am fairly new to anal, only over the last year I have really started to explore it. I have had a few different experiences.

    My initial experiences were not great, I was always really tense, because neither me nor my partner at the time had really done anything, and anal play always meant him trying to get his cock in and it always hurt and I honestly never saw it happening.

    I have since explored with a new partner, using lots of toys, when I'm super turned on and it's a totally different experience and is most definitely enjoyable.

    I have done, and do sometimes do anal play alone, but it is for me much more enjoyable with someone, but I do have a butt plug that is great for solo fun. I don't use my fingers though, purely because I don't really enjoy it, toys though are better for me.

    I bought a douche when I started play, but I never use it now.

    I actually read this book, after it was recommmended to me when I started a similar thread a long while back and it's great

    These are some of the toys I've found most enjoyable and useful. Size wise this is fab for a beginner, I really enjoy it when I am on my own. Anal beads are lots of fun and the first thing I tried and give great sensations Again nice and slim so good for a beginner

    Just take your time, experiment together and alone, there is definitely enjoyment to be had, it's just finding what works for you I guess xx

    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    Using your own fingers first is a great place to start ( on your own ) as you can feel, with your fingers, what your body is doing and try to work from there, feel, touch relaxation etc.

    Has your partner ever been on the receiving end? fingers dildo butt plug etc? that would also give him an idea what it feels like for you and how to proceed.

    Zevi [sign in to see picture]
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    Having some alone time to relax yourself and get to grips with what you're comfortable with is definitely something I'd recommend.

    A butt plug is a good place to start, use with some good anal lube and get used to the feeling of insertion. If you're comfortable with it, try using your fingers as well.

    Relaxation is definitely key though. The first time I tried anal I was apprehensive and it was not a pleasant experience at all, if you can't relax the muscles just tense up making it more pain than pleasure! Don't force yourself to take anything if you don't feel you're ready for it.

    It's definitely worth trying again though, even though my initial experiences weren't great, I now get a great deal of pleasure from it - hopefully you'll be able to as well!

    Spoonerism [sign in to see picture]
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    My advice would be to ignore most things you'll read about it on the internet and seriously check out Tristan Taormino's book that LadyS linked to above. It's absolutely brilliant, get your partner to read it too. Honestly, it changed my sex life (for the better) spectacularly.

    squeakysquirrel [sign in to see picture]
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    My advice would be to take it slowly and don't be too disheartened if it doesn't go as well as you think it should've. Tried experimenting with anal play with my partner, started with rimming which felt fantastic, eagerly bought some butt plugs and found that I didn't enjoy them too much at all. Apparently I have hemorrhoids (TMI warning lol) and so it doesn't feel the greatest... Good news is my boyfriend seems to love anal play! Just have fun, relax, and don't worry too much about performing or living up to your guys expectations.

    Littlelover [sign in to see picture]
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    I asked about anal with a new partner (who is larger than previous partners) a couple of weeks ago and got some brilliant advice, including relax, use lots of lube and prepare with foreplay, regular and anal. Have your OH use his fingers, building up from one to two etc until its comfortable and you are both happy with how its goig. This is the best advice I was given when I asked on here and it has worked wonders with us so far.

    Something I would add to that is trying different positions, too. I have found anal penetration more comfortable if I lie on my side or if I am on top, so to speak, and I am far more relaxed because of it. Don't restrict yourselves to doggy!

    We are going for full penetration tomrrrow. I will let you knnow how it goes...

    inover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    YES, anal is very enjoyable for both sexes, but like most things it takes time to master.

    To start make sure the anus is very clean in and out, as nothing is as off-putting as "the brown mess".

    Next, take your time and start rubbing and rimming for a few weeks to get used to having your anus played with.

    When your ready for something to be inserted use some sort of lube and try doing it while playing with your clit (it really helps).

    Every week try going that little bit futher, but don't give up or you'll be back to square one.

    Keep reading everones tips and tricks and in no time at all you'll be cumming like an anal trooper.

    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
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    oneofthesedays wrote:

    I don't have practical advice as I'm very much a beginner with anal, but you might want to read this

    It has lots of information and advice, you might find it helpful :)

    +1 - I have this book and it is brilliant (you can check out my review for it too if you want). It really does help with your confidence and to break a lot of the myths around anal sex.

    And in answer to your question- YES, it is very very enjoyable. But NO- it should never ever hurt. Your partner needs to go much more slowly and wait until you're relaxed.

    Joe33 [sign in to see picture]
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    Definitely have a poo if you can first, and give yourself a good wipe - or even better a shower.

    As for prep, just invest in some toys and lube and have a good play!


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    My advice would be to Take it slow, relax, use loads of lube, and worm up first with a few butt plugs going up in size or dildos going also going up in size.

    And remember you can't spend too much time on worning up, it's the most important part.

    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    I've heard that arousal has a huge part to play (sounds obvious, I know) as it'll help you relax at the time. So plenty of foreplay is in order on top of all the prep work already mentioned, and I've also heard that clitoral stimulation at the time of penetration can help things go smoothly. Above all, you need to know that he'll go at your pace, and that this will take time to get to the point he most wants it to be at. Only then can you fully relax about trying, and then keep going further one step at a time.

    Dirtylittlesecret [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you to everyone whose offered advise! I'm definitely going to invest in some new toys to get started and definitely anal lube now I know the difference :) any more tips would be greatly welcomed, can't wait to sort myself out and then suprise my other half by being up for it :D

    thanks again!

    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Take charge when it comes to anal. For me i prefer to warm up by getting in the mood by orgasming and then inserting a well lubed dildo. For me once its in then its fine.

    I tend to put the dildo in and leave it in long enough to warm me up and then attempt anal. One way ive found is to time it so that i put the dildo in while hubby is out of the room, and then leave it in during foreplay, then take it out just before penetration.

    I then get my husband to enter gently and slowly and then pause for a few seconds. If i still feel ok then he starts gently thrusting.

    For me its only the initial entry thats ever uncomfortable. Once its all in then its fine. If i prepare myself will dildo and lube then 9/10 its painless. Occasionally things happen like the angle not being right but once we have sorted that then its fine.

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