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  1. What should I do?

    ChiisInnerBeauty [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my OH have been together for nearly 6 years and I love my sex life but...I want to try something new. Ive bought some toys and used them on my self and him, he seems to like it but after we are done he seem like he didnt like it.

    When ever i try to talk to him about it he changes the subject. I do get scared to talk to him about these kind of things because I am a shy girl and I dont want him to think of me as weird :(

    What should I do?

    PrincessSparkle [sign in to see picture]
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    That you're making the effort to talk to him is the main thing, and all you can do is plough on with it.

    Next time you try, begin the conversation by acknowledging you know he finds it uncomfortable and you want to find out why so that he's happy too.
    It should open it up to him telling you what he thinks, and you can go from there.

    Also reassurance that toys won't replace him. My OH needed that reminder too :')

    Subdom27 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 27 May 2012

    Some guys might feel inadequate if their OH is using toys whilst they have sex. I know that some friends of mine feel that way.

    I hope you manage to sort it soon.

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    Either txt him or talk to face to face sometimes as a woman its easier to txt how I feel rather than tell my OH maybe it willl easier for him to explain x

    JuicyJ89 [sign in to see picture]
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    My other half is exactly the same. I just let him get on with it to be quite honest. 6 years is a long time to be with someone these days so I highly doubt he feels you're strange. Maybe a letter or a text would help? I think texts are more answerable than letters as letters can be avoided x

    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes I think guys can feel a bit lost with this stuff and don't know how to say so. I was in a similar situation a while ago. I came on here, bought tons of stuff that interested me, and started slowly intoducing it. I'd read erotica, and read this forum, so I knew what I wanted from the toys, but he hadn't seen half of what I had. Suddenly i was just like 'here's a glass dildo, lets play.' He had no chance really of reading my mind and knowing what was what.

    I think if I'd have been inclined to try in a better manner, I should have been saying things like I'd really like it if you did x,y and z with this' or i should have read him excerpts from books that gave a good idea of what I was into.

    You might have tried all this and been really clear with him, in which case I'd just ask him if he's enjoying the new things you've been doing. But if you think he might be a little bit in the dark about what you are really wanting from him then speak up :)

    Good luck and hope you figure it all out x

    Badcc67 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 4 Jan 2013

    It might help if you let him know that you want to enhance both your sex lives and that sharing this brings you closer to him.

    ChiisInnerBeauty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 22 Oct 2013

    Thanks all :) i will try and talk to him about it more ^-^

    I did buy him a cock ring the other day and it should be here tomorrow, he did seem happy about that. Hopfully i can just start introducing things slowly :)

    Kitty_Blossom [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex is alot like food, in the sense we love variety. The different tastes, how it feels etc. This is alot like the use of toys. I have such a variety that there is something to suite each mood. My partner and I have fantastic sex and I love his touch, but sometimes i need that bit of something extra to reach orgasm e.g. vibration stimuli. Like the other posters have said, communication is key. Toys are an addition to a what is a great sex life for you both... just let him know that and I am sure he will start to feel his worth again xx

    Foxxy [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe sit down together and have a browse on Lovehoney, even if it's just at sexy lingerie etc. You're doing the right thing by talking to him about it, but if he feels intimidated by sex toys etc then it might be a slow and gentle process. Maybe get him a stroker, something which you could use on him or let him use whist you watch. Perhaps finding a sex toy that he enjoys for himself will make him feel more at ease if he is worried about toys replacing him - they're fabulous but don't replace the real thing! Some people still feel that sex toys are a little taboo. Ask him to get involved when you're playing with toys, give him control of them if he's comfortable with it. Explore together, and have fun trying new things, but accept that it might take time, and rushing him might be counterproductive

    ChiisInnerBeauty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 22 Oct 2013

    I bought him a cock ring for his birthday and i said it was for a laugh, but he wanted to try it! :) Hopfully this is the start to getting more toys, thanks all!

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