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  1. Best and Worse Chat Up Lines

    1253727257
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    jav_ski wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    ... Maybe I look like somone famous and I dont know about it!

    I've been drinking in these bars since I was sixteen, so they know me pretty well. I'm a good customer to them, they trust me, and I help them out with odd jobs from time to time.

    Don't you mean you're bribing them becauase you've been going there since you were 16...

    i had actually picked up on that but was discreet enough not to mention it WA lol unlike some :P

    Tell it like it is... at least on the anonymous webiness!

    1253734591
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    WandA wrote:

    jav_ski wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    ... Maybe I look like somone famous and I dont know about it!

    I've been drinking in these bars since I was sixteen, so they know me pretty well. I'm a good customer to them, they trust me, and I help them out with odd jobs from time to time.

    Don't you mean you're bribing them becauase you've been going there since you were 16...

    i had actually picked up on that but was discreet enough not to mention it WA lol unlike some :P

    Tell it like it is... at least on the anonymous webiness!

    ahhhh see now ya have gone and deflated ya balls i was admiring ya balls and then they dropped like a lead balloon!!

    1253735485
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    jav_ski wrote:

    ahhhh see now ya have gone and deflated ya balls i was admiring ya balls and then they dropped like a lead balloon!!

    Jav, you should only admire balls that have dropped... Stops the fuzz from getting involved, speaking of fuzz, make sure thats there too! (If in real doubt ask for ID)

    1253735613
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    WandA wrote:

    jav_ski wrote:

    ahhhh see now ya have gone and deflated ya balls i was admiring ya balls and then they dropped like a lead balloon!!

    Jav, you should only admire balls that have dropped... Stops the fuzz from getting involved, speaking of fuzz, make sure thats there too! (If in real doubt ask for ID)

    ok i am not i repeat not getting into those jokes ..... they are dangerous territory !!!! if it bleeds.... no no stop not doing it !!!!

    1253742070
    MrMisbehavin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 1 May 2009

    HAHAHAHAAHAAA! Love it! Going to use that this weekend :D

    1253742125
    MrMisbehavin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 1 May 2009

    whoops. The one about the english teacher and tits dripping with cum that is.

    1253743003
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    MrMisbehavin wrote:

    HAHAHAHAAHAAA! Love it! Going to use that this weekend :D

    A man who likes spanking...

    on the face... New one to me

    1295739450
    Wilkibo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 314
    • Joined: 10 Nov 2010

    Best: "Get your coat, you're pulled!"

    Cheesiest: "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

    Worst: "I prefer the company of women"

    1295740141
    Bakewell [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 25 Nov 2010

    "You'll do!"

    Usually works, failing that: "Get in the back of the van!" is a winner ;)

    1295741144
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 433
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    'I don't think you're a lesbian deep down, you just need a REAL man! I could show you a good time!'

    Ugh, if i had a penny for every time i heard a variation of that i'd be quids in!

    1295741551
    Wilkibo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 314
    • Joined: 10 Nov 2010

    merry cherry wrote:

    'I don't think you're a lesbian deep down, you just need a REAL man! I could show you a good time!'

    LOL

    1295742022
    Draven [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 248
    • Joined: 7 Jul 2010

    one that i was tempted to try once, not sur if it woud be good or bad, was to walk up to a girl and hand her a small hammer without saying a word and if she asked what it's for then reply,

    "For breaking the ice" with a little smile.

    Best: "Hi, my names paul, can i buy you a drink?"

    or

    "Hi i was just bying myself a drink would you like one?"

    Worst: "My names Pinochio, sit on my face and i'll tell you lies"

    1295742543
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 689
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    I have been chatted up once only. The gentleman in question threw his arm around my shoulder and slurred "So, are you gay, or what?" (Answer - "Um, not today, thank you!")

    This closely followed the worst (and only) straight turn-down I've ever got (and pretty much the first and last time I ever tried to "pull") when asked if she'd like to go for a drink sometime, she looked me up and down and said - "Realistically, no."

    Ouch!

    1295742574
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    merry cherry wrote:

    'I don't think you're a lesbian deep down, you just need a REAL man! I could show you a good time!'

    Ugh, if i had a penny for every time i heard a variation of that i'd be quids in!

    How are you not tempted to ever 'pull' and make outrageous requests?

    "Just wear this wig and a dress for me, and let me do your make up and tuck the penis under then we'll see..."

    1295743032
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Mr Monster wrote:

    I have been chatted up once only. The gentleman in question threw his arm around my shoulder and slurred "So, are you gay, or what?" (Answer - "Um, not today, thank you!")

    This closely followed the worst (and only) straight turn-down I've ever got (and pretty much the first and last time I ever tried to "pull") when asked if she'd like to go for a drink sometime, she looked me up and down and said - "Realistically, no."

    Ouch!

    I've never tried or been chattered up myself I think.

    I blame my refined taste in establishments and avoidance of drunk people.... *cough*

    I think you should have responded "O, doesn't matter. I retract that offer you blind cunt."

    Anyone fancy asking me out?

    1295743327
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 433
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    Hey WandA ...(puts a hammer in WandA's hands...we'll test Draven's technique out on WandA!)

    1295743410
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Draven wrote:

    one that i was tempted to try once, not sur if it woud be good or bad, was to walk up to a girl and hand her a small hammer without saying a word and if she asked what it's for then reply,

    "For breaking the ice" with a little smile.

    Variation - a friend used to go up to girls and say "fat penguin"....."sorry, I just wanted something to break the ice"

    Adx

    1295743441
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Plus you don't get thrown out of clubs with an imaginary penguin

    Adx

    1295748288
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 689
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    WandA wrote:

    I think you should have responded "O, doesn't matter. I retract that offer you blind cunt."

    To be fair, when I asked her out, I think what she heard was -

    merry cherry wrote:

    'I don't think you're a lesbian deep down, you just need a REAL man! I could show you a good time!

    So maybe I was being a little optimistic...

    WandA wrote:

    Anyone fancy asking me out?

    Oi, you wanna step outside, mush?

    1295750253
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    Here's some cheesy geek ones I've just made up now, most of these would probably get a well-earned slap in the face as a reply, so it's probably best not to use them for real, there just here for a laugh.

    "Hi there, would you like to load your software onto my hardware?"

    "Do you wish to install my driver?"

    "Please wait... transferring files from floppy disk to hard disk"

    "Do you want to feel the wrath of Khan?"

    "Do you Han Solo?"

    "I'm a Jedi in training, could you help me practice my light-sabre skills?"

    "I wanna Klingon to you."

    "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction... wanna try it out?"

    "Witty chat-up line number 168 not found"

    "Mind if I orbit Uranus"

    "I am an android, the first of my kind... what is love?"

    "Wanna see my Donkey Kong?"

    "Do I have a Mass Effect on you?"

    "According to the theory of general relativity, bodies uneffected by other forces will naturally gravitate towards one another... as you can see here."

    ...

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