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  1. Is your OH as horny as you?

    1272915480
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    arrr thanks for that, i am sorry you are having he same prob, but if honest also slightly relieved i am not the only one. The worst part is i love him totally i have no complaints about him in any way and couldnt want for anyone else other than in this respect. Unfortunately it is something really important to me and as i am quite an obsessive person the more i want something and cant get it the worse i get lol. When it goes well i am like a kid at christmas and cant keep the smile from my face lol

    I have invested in a million herbal supplements and started a fitness regime and diet thinking it will boost everything and create more energy and confidence etc and there has been some improvement but i still feel frustrated that being happy and having fun requires so much blooming effort lol. Should the good bits in life really take quite so much investment lol, i get a bit bitter at life for not making it just happen naturally and instinctively like for some.

    You are right though and maybe this time next year we will be laughing at how much has changed and wondering why we got so stressed about it when it just passed like all things in life. Perspective is so hard when your living the problem though x

    I have even gone on a craze to make myself so easy to please that he might only need to lean over for a second and that would do the job then at least the effort would be minimal and i am sure he would do it all day then, but mentally i cant shut down from all this and need longer. As a bloke is it not easier to persuade her

    based on the 'i can come real quick you wont even realise ive been there' thought process lol sorry i know that is a stupid thought but if i could i really would do that but us girls seem to need a tiny bit longer.

    Can i ask a personal question, does she get total joy when you do it with her? i mean i think if i was easier to please my oh would be more keen, but worrying that he will get it wrong causes pressure.

    I would have thought if a girl gets an orgasm she wouldnt want to say no, although if she is not in the mood that wont happen will it. Have you tried reading what David shade has to say as he claims to have learnt to make any woman want you any time any place as the results he produces and so amazing the women would be mad to refuse.

    Sorry if i am barking up the wrong tree.

    1272916156
    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    yes she always gets orgasm(s) and I will go down on her or touch her intimately (if I can get away with it) and she enjoys is greatly once she gets into it, but this sort of stuff is never on her mind and reciprocated. I don't mean I expect a 1 for 1 deal on oral or anything, but I mean as a general thing I do all I can to please her and make her come and be satisfied, but she's really not bothered. I have some skills in the bedroom department if I do say so myself and I have never had a problem giving her satisfaction.

    If I show no interest (and I have tried this, might try again) for some weeks, months, she is quite content with her life, other stuff goes fine, you know, so everyone is happy except me. Up to now I thought that was a price I had to pay to have a relationship because I had a bit of a confidence crisis or something. Lately I have started to think - hang on - why is this all down to me to chase feel like a pest or a beggar or dirty and so on, something is not quite working. I can relate to the feeling that it shouldn't be this hard! I have even said those words before.

    It's just the idea that she doesn't want me that hurts. It can be dressed up any which way but it boild down to the same thing.

    Damn ! Going to stop posting about this for a while it's riling me up something drastic!

    1272916643
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry yes gets me like that too. I am starting to believe it is down to hormones and body chemistry and if we could get the to take some more horney pills they would be like us and wouldnt be able to stop thinking about it.

    Or maybe hypnotherapy lol. Sounds like you have done it all then really and no you shouldnt have to just accept it, there has to be some way of sorting it out.

    I would say it is def not that she doesnt want you, she wouldnt enjoy it or be able to orgasm if she didnt want you, women seem to need to want men to enjoy from what i have heard, i think it is just down to her body not needing that release in the same way. Only thing that can make it easier for you is if she puts the effort in to please you to show her love for you. Which is hard for a bloke to tell a girl as she will get stroppy and say that is all you think about.

    how does slipping viagra into their teas sound lol

    1272934044
    ksw1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    We've been having more and more quickies recently. Both have been stressed so it's a nice release while we're too tired for a long session! :)

    1272978644
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeh we are starting to get there doing it more often although i need to learn to relax enough to enjoy it properly when we do as i am all wound up about the whole issue. x

    1272992291
    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I seem to go through stages of wanting it more or less than 0y h4bby b4t never really the same amounts as him, at the minute i want it several times a day, he said i am wearing him out and have gone sex mad-he's not complaining but he said it would be nice to have a day off and rest lol he's gone away for 3 days so that should be all the rest he needs haha. I need some new toys, I seem to be wearing mine out as much as my husband, i replaced my rabbit about 3 weeks ago and i have changed the batteries twice in it already!

    xxx

    1273010346
    Chris Stefani [sign in to see picture]
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    My Mrs and I never seem to get the balance just spot on.

    Our sex life isn't bad by any means, we regularly have sex and we both enjoy it when we do. But there are often the times when I'm really horny and the Mrs isn't, and vice versa.

    Neither of the two of us has high energy levels, and it just takes a stressful day at work to have us coming home and wanting to go straight to bed. Unfortunately we want sleep rather than sex though.

    Then we have situations where we do both want it, but we're both too tired. Tonight being a prime example. A tough day at work (we both work the same hours at the same place) has left us both feeling drained. Although we're both wanting it, our bodies are telling us to get our ass into bed and catch some shut-eye.

    We've recently bought pushbikes and are cycling to work now, so hopefully the exercise will boost our energy levels slowly (I've got 8 years of being lazy to eradicate!), and we're starting to eat better now too, not as many takeaways and pizzas now, we're getting decent grub down our necks now. So hopefully that'll cure a lot.

    1273010524
    linda2008 [sign in to see picture]
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    my OH is more horny than me,,,,or is it me that makes him horny xx

    1273010724
    lookslikefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Got to be honest, not by a long way, especially since kids here.

    Started off as the relationship of the simultaneous orgasm, every time, a shocking discovery(!) we just couldn't fail.

    Now -years later the home of the simultaneous snoregasm and impending separation & divorce :-/. Shit happens I suppose, so onwards and upwards, and a good few experiences richer!

    1273015022
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    lookslikefun wrote:

    Got to be honest, not by a long way, especially since kids here.

    Started off as the relationship of the simultaneous orgasm, every time, a shocking discovery(!) we just couldn't fail.

    Now -years later the home of the simultaneous snoregasm and impending separation & divorce :-/. Shit happens I suppose, so onwards and upwards, and a good few experiences richer!

    Ouch.... Hope all goes as well as it can. These forums can be a great place to chat with people who won't judge (mostly!).

    1273015238
    lookslikefun [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    lookslikefun wrote:

    Got to be honest, not by a long way, especially since kids here.

    Started off as the relationship of the simultaneous orgasm, every time, a shocking discovery(!) we just couldn't fail.

    Now -years later the home of the simultaneous snoregasm and impending separation & divorce :-/. Shit happens I suppose, so onwards and upwards, and a good few experiences richer!

    Ouch.... Hope all goes as well as it can. These forums can be a great place to chat with people who won't judge (mostly!).

    fair enough! Looking forward to plenty of irreverent, fun and (mostly) non judgemental chat.

    1273015904
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    lookslikefun wrote:

    fair enough! Looking forward to plenty of irreverent, fun and (mostly) non judgemental chat.

    Oooo... Sorry, I'm judging you already.

    Only joking. Nah! Really its a good place to be here, everybody is friendly and they don't really judge, unless your lover happens to be of the canine variety for example but then who can blame us!

    I don't want to scare you off with the judging comment, most people here are perfectly aware of the silly judgemental types who think anything beyond missionary is bad, this is a great place to be free of society's shackles! I'm rabbiting on a bit... Anyway, see you around!

    1273097779
    lookslikefun [sign in to see picture]
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    shackles? did someone mention shackles?

    1273147016
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Well this week my oh has been making soooo much effort and all is well, so have been really happy and i am finaly learning to relax abit about the whole business. So fingers crossed it carries on. Might be all those herbal supplements i have been force feeding him though, good job we love each other or we would have killed each other by now :)

    1273147639
    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    Thats really good news! I'm pleased for ya. What are those herbs by the way? I'm still at square 1 so I might need to delve further afield for a solution. :D

    1273148896
    Gwennie [sign in to see picture]
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    God yes, thats the whole reason I'm here! My medication lowered my sex drive so much there was a pretty hefty dry spell. I think I've just encouraged him though :)

    1273169716
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Tronic, there is a bit of a list, i basically googled it and ordered anything and everything that claimed to work and gave him the lot, he has about 8 pills some mornings, just in case lol

    Mainly, l'arginine, gingko ,biloba, ginseng, tongat ali extract, horny goat weed and some stuff from india called kohinoor gold. We also tried the lidius one not sure i spelt that right is meant to work in 30 mins and effects last up to 4 days, didnt have drastic effect on horniness but things did seem harder when we did it.

    Think they need to build up in your system abit to work though. The tongat ali is to increase testosterone.

    :)

    1273173204
    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    ta 4 the info! I might not need it after all, but I will keep that list handy and do a bit of googling just in case.

    1273227192
    frustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    no prob, and yes best to google first lol x

    1273271773
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    tronic wrote:

    ta 4 the info! I might not need it after all, but I will keep that list handy and do a bit of googling just in case.

    Please be careful with herbal/natural etc alternatives. I mentioned on another thread to be very careful of 'herbal' remedies. Essentially my point was that If a herbal remedy works... we turn it into medicine!

    'Herbal' stuff and other related made up pseudo-sciences might work given the placebo effect but these areas are often unregulated. Horny goat weed is dangerous I believe and please avoid 'stuff from India'. Many traditional Indian remedies are extremely dangerous, in traditional Indian remedies it is believed heavy metals such as mercury help things 'bond' better. Well it doesn't. Its actually very dangerous, if I can locate the scientific study that I am posting from I remember reading how a very high proportion of Indian remedies contain sold in Europe online contain these dangerous compounds. I use traditional Indian remedies as an example of the dangers of unlicensed alternative options (I refuse to use medicines) but this does apply to other alternatives too.

    Real medicine usually takes over a decade to get on the market, some crackpot selling natural pills doesn't go through the rigorous testing required. Who would you rather buy off? Of course many people use alternative options but this doesn't mean it is safe or works. Stick to real medicine in my opinion.

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