99p Next Day delivery! Hurry ends in ...
  1. Is your OH as horny as you?

    1256031746
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    It's really and truly horrible, and I've been on both sides of it - the turner and the turnee. Surprisingly, being the one turning my partner down made me more miserable than being turned down - when I was being turned down it was easy to make excuses (he's tired, he's stressed, he's got a headache, he wants to spend quality time together); but when I was turning my other bf down it was all on me, all my responsibilty, and I could see how sad it made him - and that killed me. But no matter what I tried, I just couldn't sleep with him. It was like a switch flipped in my brain, from on to off.

    I ended the relationship over it in the end, because I jusy couldn't see a way out and I knew he deserved better.

    1256039761
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Oh **Huuggs** That sounds an awful place to be in..

    It was entirely shit. I was struggling with depression at the time, and that affected me much more than I realised at the time. But letting my relationship fail just fed that... was a horrible vicious cycle.

    1256050462
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    awww shellyboo i got flonked out this morning again but she had avalid reason so i gave he a peck on the forehead and made her breaky then went to the gym and worked it off there lol

    1256050693
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    jav_ski wrote:

    awww shellyboo i got flonked out this morning again but she had avalid reason so i gave he a peck on the forehead and made her breaky then went to the gym and worked it off there lol

    Oawwww :( But good for you for taking it in good grace - that's one thing I am *terrible* at. If I get turned down for sex, it's automatic sulking for me, and I find it so, so hard not to do that.

    1256050952
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    shellyboo wrote:

    jav_ski wrote:

    awww shellyboo i got flonked out this morning again but she had avalid reason so i gave he a peck on the forehead and made her breaky then went to the gym and worked it off there lol

    Oawwww :( But good for you for taking it in good grace - that's one thing I am *terrible* at. If I get turned down for sex, it's automatic sulking for me, and I find it so, so hard not to do that.

    well being honest she gave me a very very very valid reason i couldnt argue with so there was no point in being sulky i would have looked like a right bast*rd so took it on the chin and earned some brownie points!

    1256051166
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    jav_ski wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    jav_ski wrote:

    awww shellyboo i got flonked out this morning again but she had avalid reason so i gave he a peck on the forehead and made her breaky then went to the gym and worked it off there lol

    Oawwww :( But good for you for taking it in good grace - that's one thing I am *terrible* at. If I get turned down for sex, it's automatic sulking for me, and I find it so, so hard not to do that.

    well being honest she gave me a very very very valid reason i couldnt argue with so there was no point in being sulky i would have looked like a right bast*rd so took it on the chin and earned some brownie points!

    Yeah, I'm just a brat when I don't get my way.

    1256051585
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    Magic Hands wrote:

    just do the little things like i said then she will start to appreciate you more.

    Sounds like he already does an awful lot of things though, MH... making her coffee, shopping, pictures and roses... he seems like a great bf to me, tbh!

    1256061612
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Well Jav_ski, I for one am glad things seem to be improving for you, I am sure your discussion with your OH was a lot more reasonable than it came across to others and as long as you don't expect your OH to give you sex (which I'm sure you don't), I think it's completely reasonable to need sex and to tell your OH that it's something you need. Noone should feel forced to have sex, but equally noone should feel like their desires aren't being met....if you care enough about your OH to talk to her about it then surely that's good....you could have just said "I want sex, you don't, this won't ever work" but instead you have taken action and are trying to make things work first! Good for you

    Ax

    1256061977
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    AdnaW wrote:

    Well Jav_ski, I for one am glad things seem to be improving for you, I am sure your discussion with your OH was a lot more reasonable than it came across to others and as long as you don't expect your OH to give you sex (which I'm sure you don't), I think it's completely reasonable to need sex and to tell your OH that it's something you need. Noone should feel forced to have sex, but equally noone should feel like their desires aren't being met....if you care enough about your OH to talk to her about it then surely that's good....you could have just said "I want sex, you don't, this won't ever work" but instead you have taken action and are trying to make things work first! Good for you

    Ax

    see now i have a big head !!! but yeh she is a cool lass and sex is an important part of any relationship but i'm getting to understand that it takes two to tango and well sometimes maybe one of the two just doesnt want to dance to the music..... and if that the case well we can always wait for the next time the band play :)

    1256062467
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    That's a positive outlook as long as you don't expect her to do something she doesn't want to do but you still acknowledge your own needs then I'm sure things will be fine....as others have said, money isn't always the answer, I know for me a lovely relaxing massage after I've finished everything that needs doing means I can switch off and think of "other things" ....In my experience a lot of women are bigger worriers than men are and find it hard to switch of those worries so working on relaxation can be a good idea....but again, never expect it in return for something nice...

    Ax

    1256063078
    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 759
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2007

    It's frustrating when your sex drive doesn't match your partners and for some people it is a deal-breaker. I have a very high sex and my ex had diabetes, which affected his sex drive. If he didn't want to/couldn't play he would always encourage me to play with a toy and sometimes would hold me whilst I played - for some reason it always seemed more satisfying that way. It's all about compromise x

    1256063223
    jav_ski [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 265
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2009

    thanks for all the advice guys!!!! i think some of this may have worked sooner than i thought lol ... the OH just walked into the room sat down on the desk (i'm in my home office) and said "you not gonna have a shave today" i was like "why" she says"cause there is no way your going down on me with that stubble tonight" winked and went to make some food

    think its time to go buy a gillette mach 900

    1256063267
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Wizzie86 wrote:

    It's frustrating when your sex drive doesn't match your partners and for some people it is a deal-breaker. I have a very high sex and my ex had diabetes, which affected his sex drive. If he didn't want to/couldn't play he would always encourage me to play with a toy and sometimes would hold me whilst I played - for some reason it always seemed more satisfying that way. It's all about compromise x

    I agree with this, my sex drive is lower than my OH, but I can always give him head, or just swallow his come for him after he's wanked or even just squeezing his balls whilst he sorts himself out...I like to make sure he's satisfied even if I don't feel like it myself! Compromise is definately the key, and communication of course!

    Ax

    1256066057
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    AdnaW wrote:

    Wizzie86 wrote:

    It's frustrating when your sex drive doesn't match your partners and for some people it is a deal-breaker. I have a very high sex and my ex had diabetes, which affected his sex drive. If he didn't want to/couldn't play he would always encourage me to play with a toy and sometimes would hold me whilst I played - for some reason it always seemed more satisfying that way. It's all about compromise x

    I agree with this, my sex drive is lower than my OH, but I can always give him head, or just swallow his come for him after he's wanked or even just squeezing his balls whilst he sorts himself out...I like to make sure he's satisfied even if I don't feel like it myself! Compromise is definately the key, and communication of course!

    Ax

    I totally agree... even if sex isn't on the menu, just having that bit of intimacy can help either partner to be fulfilled.

    1256465888
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Its a shame my OH seems to think that instead of sex, play fighting is ok. Thing is that hes getting rougher and rougher now and I'm getting bruises all the time. I'm worried that its frustration hes taking out on me..

    That's a bit worrying hun, I love a good play fight but only because it gets me horny not because I'm venting! Bit odd that he has the energy to fight you but not have sex with you, could he be trying to stirr up some passion? Either way I think you should give him a bloody good spanking so he knows how it feels!

    xxKPxx

    1256479548
    rich the voyeur [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 13 Aug 2009

    pinkangel wrote:

    My OH has a very low sex drive compared to me and it drives me crazy sometimes. I am a 20 year old female and he is a 25 yera old male so its not like it should be a problem. I am horny ALL the time and on the odd occasion that Im not already, it doesnt take much to get me there. My OH on the other hand is hardly ever that turned on and he sometimes knocks me back!

    so just wondering is anyone else in this position?

    and any tips on how to turn him on more often?

    thanx xx

    I'm way late at replying to this post (had no laptop for AGES!), but in answer to the original question - nope, and it's a nightmare! Tried what I think to be everything, but without going on exotic holidays to faraway places EVERY week, I'm stuck.

    Boo.

    1256479672
    rich the voyeur [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 13 Aug 2009

    AdnaW wrote:

    Wizzie86 wrote:

    It's frustrating when your sex drive doesn't match your partners and for some people it is a deal-breaker. I have a very high sex and my ex had diabetes, which affected his sex drive. If he didn't want to/couldn't play he would always encourage me to play with a toy and sometimes would hold me whilst I played - for some reason it always seemed more satisfying that way. It's all about compromise x

    I agree with this, my sex drive is lower than my OH, but I can always give him head, or just swallow his come for him after he's wanked or even just squeezing his balls whilst he sorts himself out...I like to make sure he's satisfied even if I don't feel like it myself! Compromise is definately the key, and communication of course!

    Ax

    Wow - if only my OH were as accomodating as you AdnaW!

    1256481087
    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 736
    • Joined: 21 Sep 2009

    KittyPurry wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Its a shame my OH seems to think that instead of sex, play fighting is ok. Thing is that hes getting rougher and rougher now and I'm getting bruises all the time. I'm worried that its frustration hes taking out on me..

    That's a bit worrying hun, I love a good play fight but only because it gets me horny not because I'm venting! Bit odd that he has the energy to fight you but not have sex with you, could he be trying to stirr up some passion? Either way I think you should give him a bloody good spanking so he knows how it feels!

    xxKPxx

    I agree...and i'm not surprised you're getting worried! I would be. If he's not trying to stir up passion, I would mention your concerns to him. He may not realise how rough he's being x

    1256495839
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    I dont think he does realise. It especially worrying as he has actually broken my nose now though.. He was really sorry about it, but the rough play has been creeping back up again..

    Eeek that's actually a bit scary I think you definately need to have a word because that's straying dangerously near abuse...if bones (well technically cartilage but still!) are getting broken then I wouldn't really class it as "play". Are you ok my lovely? And I mean really ok? I know I don't technically know you that well but I still care!

    xxKPxx

    1256503591
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    I'm fine, but I'm a bit concerned that his hoarsing around is gradually getting worse again. He says he doesn't mean to, and is sorry when he hurts me, but he still fools about... I'll be putting the foot down when he tries to do it next time.

    Sounds worrying, maybe it's psychological? Perhaps because of the arthritis he feels less manly and play fighting is his way of asserting himself? You need to talk to him about it in my opinion it's not fair on you at all!

    *HUGS*

    Ax

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.