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  1. Bed restraints

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 184
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    Hi guys

    ive odered some stuff today

    vibrating cock ring. Nipple clamps. Bed restraints

    in for a good night

    thing is the wife's not keen on the restraints should I feel selfish by being the only one to get pleasure from them

    was looking forward to giving her pleasure from a little light bondage as this a fantasy of mine to be dominant

    any guys like to recive bondage when the OH doesn't

    Taylor77 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 140
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2010

    Though it is nice to be selfish at times, in regards to relationships, I would perhaps suggest this form of activity should be done in sync with both parties being open to the idea. How would you feel if forced into something you were uncomfortable with, i guess that is the best way to look at it in the first instance.

    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5570
    • Joined: 12 Mar 2013

    I agree with Taylor.

    I have always wanted to peg a guy but no previous boyfriends ever wanted to, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to do it if they weren't into it.

    How is it a turn on if the other person doesn't like it?

    PrincessSparkle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 580
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2014

    Define 'not keen'.
    Not keen as in, indifferent? In which case, that's fine. My man isn't particularly keen on restraints in the bedroom, but I love being restrained so he'll do it for me.

    Or not keen as in really doesn't want to? At which point, you probably don't want to be doing it.
    It can be scary being restrained if you don't want to be, and she may just get scared, freak out, and lose her shit. And that, isn't fun for anyone.

    jimbogemini [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2333
    • Joined: 20 Mar 2014

    If there is doubt, may be best to leave alone, for a while anyway.

    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 632
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2012

    As other people have suggested, it's important to be aware of what degree she's not into it. But with that in mind, if she just isn't really turned on by it but is fine with doing it anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of things that she does like that you could do with her while she's restrained and that may get her more into restraint. Getting oral while in restraints is really something special, so if she generally likes that it could be something to try. Otherwise, so long as she's fine with trying them, if you restrain her but just generally do the sort of things you usually do in the bedroom then it may make the transition easier for her than if you restrain her and it's all really different and unusual and kinky straight away. I don't think there's any need for you to feel selfish about it though if it's just something that she's not that into but that you like. There are always going to be that sort of thing between couples and so long as the other person doesn't mind doing it, there's nothing to feel selfish about. I'd hate the idea of my partner feeling selfish just because we do some things that he gets more pleasure from than I do, particularly because things like that tend to balance out in the end anyway.

    I'm not sure what type of bed restraints you bought, but the sort I have are really nice for beginners - they have velcro wrist and ankle cuffs with straps that go under the bed - so if you have something similar and she's up for trying it, it's a very non-threatening way to start as the cuffs are so easy to get out of that it hopefully wouldn't cause her to feel scared or claustrophobic.

    Best of luck with it and I hope you have loads of fun with your new purchases.

    Aphrodisiac [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 44
    • Joined: 6 Dec 2014

    Yeah if she's really against it just don't go there but take to her about it and maybe made a deal where she does this and you do something sehr has an,ways wanted you to do? Could be a great night!

    my OH is kinda into bondage type stuff but only light stuff (not like me haha) but he keeps saying he doesn't want to hurt me and go into harder stuff that I like anyway we do talk about it a lot and gonna organise something soon

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 184
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    She's happy to restrain me and encouraged me to buy the restraints
    But I would love to give her the pleasure to
    But if she isn't up for It I respect that and would
    Never force her
    However I know the things she dose like and gets pleasure from
    After all its about both being happy with what thy give and recive

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 184
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    I've got the Tracey Cox beginners kit
    Been looking at it for ages
    Got it for £7 bargin

    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 632
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2012

    Ooh, that looks like a really nice kit, and definitely a great price for it. Congrats on that. It's exactly the sort of thing I meant though, it's so comfortable to be restrained in restraints like that and because they're velcro you can't really have a panic about being tied up.

    Have you spoken to her much about you wanting to restrain her as well? Talking honestly and openly about your desires will probably really help her to understand and open a dialogue between you where you can discuss whether there's any way it could be a mutually pleasurable activity for both of you.

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 184
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    She has said she would like me to be abit rougher but when I ask her for ideas we could play out she's not forthcoming

    Again I have a few she might like but I don't want to push it to far and spoil the Expiriance

    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 632
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2012

    Hmm, that can be tricky when people won't be specific about what they want, but maybe she's not quite sure yet. Maybe you could talk to her about some of the ideas you have and see if she likes the sound of any of them, or start to try some of them out and see how she responds. Maybe set a safeword at the beginning so it's easy for her to let you know if she's not into it without having to expressly say it or explain why straight away. You could perhaps make a list of things you'd consider trying, and ask her what she thinks of them - maybe not even necessarily with the view to acting it out, but just to test out her views on different things. Like if she's said she would like things rougher, ask her opinion on spanking, hairpulling, gags or such like and see where it goes from there :)

    leztalkaboutsex [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2014

    My OH hates the idea of being restrained and i love it, you shouldn't think to much of what your OH is missing out on and more talk about things she wants and be happy that you are still getting restrained. Give her you ideas on what you would like to do to her and if she's not really telling you wither or not she would like it then have a safe word like kangaroo so if you go to far you know she's not just role playing and that can keep it more simple.

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