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  1. Can fat people be attractive? (I'm a fat person)

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    нинаnin [sign in to see picture]
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    Andila wrote:


    One of my biggest irks is that the word "fat" is used and seen as a derogatory term. In my opinion, you can be fat AND beautiful.

    +1
    1508117063
    latex_lover [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm an overweight chap and for me, I feel repulsive, unattractive and really ugly. I'll reiterate: *I* feel unattractive and ugly about MYSELF.

    I have been single a while now and the overweight issue makes me feel so unconfident. I can get quite low and use food to comfort... So it's a double-edged sword.

    For me, personally, I can see women and they can be of all kinds of varying sizes and I don't think twice about it at all. It's their personality that I'm drawn too.

    I don't know if that helps at all and hope it's not contradictory what I've said.

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    KERMIT [sign in to see picture]
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    Everyone is beautiful 💕

    1508168100

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Thats a horrible word that I never use. I know slim and plus size ladies and they are all lovely people both know how to enjoy life. So dont use that word.

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm an average sized lady (12/14) but my boyfriend is a little on the larger side (38inch waist) and he seems confident in himself even though he will refer to himself as fat. I always tell him off for being so harsh on himself, and remind him that I love him just the way he is and that I still and always have (only been together a few months) found him attractive/handsome/sexy ect, not to mention he has an amazing personality. To be honest I have never dated or considered dating someone plus sized (not through ignorance or shallowness), we just met and I felt instantly drawn to him. So most definitely I think people who are on the larger side can be attractive. For me it's about personality, of course if he became morbidly obese there would be concerns and not just for his health but he would still be the same person.
    I think there's too much pressure to be a certain way, and all too often men get stick for being with plus sized ladies but when the guy is the larger one, nobody batters an eyelid! It all comes down to what people as a society find attractive/acceptable and it's very wrong and unfair. My daughter (5) often comments my bf has a big tummy but I always explain to her it doesn't matter and that everybody comes in all different shapes and sizes, it's what's inside that counts.

    1509137011
    Phil42 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry if this has already been said but i beleive alot of what makes people attractive is how they hold themselves.
    Size is almost redundant for me. I have had about 7 "proper" girlfriends ranging from size 18 to size 10 and i fancied them all like mad on meeting them for the first time.
    I really beleive size is just a number.

    1509137492
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    To me size or shape or colour doesnt matter. Its the person that counts and confident the better.

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    VR [sign in to see picture]
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    I haven't read the whole thread, sorry, but can I ask if you've had help for what you've been through?

    I was groomed and sexually abused as a child and now have help and support from a psycho-sexual counsellor that I see at the GUM clinic. She's very busy and there's a waiting list - and I'd imagine that this would be the norm at all GUM clinics, but give them a ring and ask if there's someone available.

    This has helped me a lot emotionally which has, in turn, helped me physically (turns out I was overeating in an effort to make myself unattractive to the opposite sex - which just made me feel worthless in all aspects of my life). I've been trying to lose weight and dropped 3 stone so far.

    I've a long way to go both mentally and physically, and know it's not easy for anyone, but it's a lot easier with support.

    No one deserves ridicule or disrespect because of their size, but it's a lot easier to ignore if you feel strong enough inside. No matter your shape or size, strong = beautiful. I may not be the definition of standard beauty, but I know now that I'm strong enough to change the way I look if I want to or stay the same and take the flak if I don't.

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    Humpy Tail [sign in to see picture]
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    I can only speak for myself, but curves are everything!

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Everyone is different, everyone likes different things. Sadly we are in a position where everyone is ridiculed no matter what size you are. I recently read about the gorgeously beautiful Ruby Rose getting a lot of grief for being too skinny. People think it's OK to comment on everyones weight and it's really not OK.

    Don't feel the need to change yourself for others, if you want to change then start to change for yourself. I know I want to shed a bit if weight but mentally I just can't at the moment. Once I am in a better head space I will start. You can't please everyone, easy to piss them all off though. Long as you are happy and being yourself then it's all good. X

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    Lord_Vetinari [sign in to see picture]
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    I like curvy women.  REMOVED BY MODERATOR - BODY SHAMING?

    People forget that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 and she was without doubt one of the sexiest women who has ever lived. Reubens is famous for painting women with 'REMOVED BY MODERATOR - BODY SHAMING ' bodies and I've yet to hear anyone say they find them unattractive.

    Obviously from a health POV it's good to control weight and diet but if you're never going to be a stick insect don't worry about it and as for anyone who makes rude comments just think to yourself 'I can lose weight but you're always going to be an arse'.

    KofN

    1509305941
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    To me size or shape or colour doesnt matter. Its the person that counts and confident the better.

    Phil42 wrote:

    Sorry if this has already been said but i beleive alot of what makes people attractive is how they hold themselves.
    Size is almost redundant for me. I have had about 7 "proper" girlfriends ranging from size 18 to size 10 and i fancied them all like mad on meeting them for the first time.
    I really beleive size is just a number.

    You guys are spot on. Who actually goes out looking for a partner based on their size? It's not clothes shopping. Confidence and personality shine through. Beauty doesn't come in one size range and attraction is not purely a matter of physical appearance. I agree that size is just a number :)

    1509441067
    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Fat people can absolutely be attractive <3
    I recommend you check out tags like fat positive or body positive on instagram or tumblr for lots of gorgeous people!
    You might also find it helpful to read the blog Shapely Prose.
    And, of course, counselling or therapy with a good fat-positive professional could be really helpful xx

    1509453555
    jon19 [sign in to see picture]
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    It can definitely be attractive although I think there is an inherent risk that some people over-sexualise it. I sometimes worry about people who explicitly say they are fans of larger people - it feels like this attraction is derived from sexual drive rather than true feelings.

    I completely agree with Kermit and think everyone is beautiful.

    1509455729
    Boox [sign in to see picture]
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     I’ve been between size 6 and 12 my entire life. I once spent half a year as an almost 14 and it was the best time of my life in so many ways! Sadly it came at the cost of my health, once treated I was right back down to an 8. I really hate being as small as I am and I long for that squishy feeling! Always wanted to be a size 16-18 but gaining weight is near impossible for me and envy those who can do it with ease. You need to see your weight in positive way and all the good that comes of it , like for example I’ve seen gorgeous lingerie in a plus size and never seen them I little lady size and wished even more the weight. If you were say trying to keep your weight at a 12 and really really loved yourself a triple chocolate gateau but could never eat it again because of a strict diet. My examples are quite specific to me but you need to see it in your own specifics and realize your weight shouldn’t be on your mind unless your health is in dire jeopardy because of your weight. Personally I’ve never looked at a little lady in great shape and thought wow I wanna look like that, I’d rather be a plus size girl it’s always been that way for me. Big is beautiful!

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    We do not allow body-shaming here.

    Any comments made towards the term "real women/ woman are curvy/slim/tall/small" will be removed with a warning issued.

    All people are real and anyone who identifies as a woman is a 'real' woman. Think about it, it's not like they are imaginary! 

    Please think about this when replying to posts about body types. 

    I will end with: 

    Any woman can be attractive, it really does not matter about size.

    1513704123
    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    I was always slim... a size 10 but with big boobies. Since my brain injury I have gone up to a size 22... put on 6 stone!

    I'll be honest with you, I rarely feel attractive nowadays - I know Mr. Spider finds fat women unattractive as he has told me so in the past, and he nags me to lose weight constantly (he says he worries about my health rather than disliking my fat though)

    My mobility is very poor so I can't exercise, plus the more I use my legs, the more spastic tremors I get.

    When I was slim, during sex he'd run his hands all over my body... but nowadays he rarely touches me other than my genitals and boobs. A few days ago, I put the bedroom TV on, and he'd left the Kodie box on the porn channel - he'd been searching porn for small breasted girls....mine are huge - so that really hurt. So he searched porn featuring larger girls - then after watching for a few minutes started laughing at it. We do have a good relationship other than for this. He does so much for me...I suppose in many ways he has become my carer and we're having to find our way back to being a couple.

    I know I look okay when we go out, I'm 52 and I'm often told I only look about 35 (I'm very punk, different colour hair most weeks and facial piercings and tatts) and I often get chatted up - it's THEN than Mr. Spider shows me proper attention and makes me feel attractive - but mostly only then. I feel, It's almost like he needs other peoples acceptance of my body to be able to see me as sexy anymore.

    Larger people are sexy and beautiful.... but we do need plenty of reassurance!

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    rockinrob [sign in to see picture]
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    I've never really understood this, I tend to find people (mostly women) sexy for a variety of reasons and larger ladies are right in there without distinction. I don't like them because they are larger I just like them because they are sexy.

    One of the problems is it seems that making fun of people's weight is one of the last safe areas for people to be mean. The amount of TV programmes/movies which have characters who make blatant fun of larger people is unbelievable and it annoys the hell out of me whenever I see it.

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    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
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    Short answer, Yes, long answer hell yes. My lady is 16-18 and I love it, she has a beautiful body. Attraction is so much more than weight and physique, but I’ve been with all types and none have consistently excited me for so many years as she has, I think about her so much I think she gets annoyed with it sometimes lol.

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    KingGrthy wrote:

    Short answer, Yes, long answer hell yes.

    rockinrob wrote:

    One of the problems is it seems that making fun of people's weight is one of the last safe areas for people to be mean. The amount of TV programmes/movies which have characters who make blatant fun of larger people is unbelievable and it annoys the hell out of me whenever I see it.

    KingGrthy I blumming love's you, I do!!

    rockinrob I totally agree with this, but as the 'fatty' it kind of make me cringe and want to cry. Mr Spider thinks it's funny to call me 'Bubbles DeVere' (Little Britain) ...I'll humour him, laugh and do an imitation of her...but inside I'm secretly dying. :'(

    rockinrob and KingGrthy - You are both awesome guys! Yesterday I was feeling very low about myself....mainly due to a few comments made by Mr.S - comments where he thinks he's being funny haha, but inside I feel like he's being mean...you both restored my faith that there are men out there that don't mind a bit of fat....that don't find it a complete turn off. thank you! xx

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